Any indie hackers with full time jobs and 1+ kids?

The comments here are gold. 39, dad of 2 (3 and 10mo). As a parent, especially of more than 1 kid, you just come to accept the fact that you'll always be tired. That is just parenting but when you add in side projects and jobs it becomes a real prioritization struggle.

This thread is full of a bunch of good dads who realize what is important in life, your kids. They grow up fast and change so much spend as much time with them as you can because you can't get that back.

Today's GaryVee culture and overuse of the word "hustle" to me is nauseating. When I heard him say something to the effect of work all your hours now while your kids are young because they wont remember it, that was probably the last GaryVee video I watched. I respect what he does but I couldn't disagree more with that mentality.

We are all on a limited timeline and with all my successes (and failures) nothing brings me the joy that seeing my boys playing and growing up does.

Tl;DR - It gets easier, you'll find your routine whether working in the morning or at night but family first. Always.

I'm a hacker with a 1.5-year-old and another on the way.

I've found the absolute best way to get consistent work done every day is to get up really early (like 5 AM) and work for two hours before heading to my day-job.

That way, I'm not taking time away from my kid/wife since they are sleeping, and I can relax in the evenings having known I've got my work done for the day.

I'm 37, full-time job and 6-yo girl. Struggling, hacking, constantly learning, improving, failing but keeping my head up! ;-)

I’m 33, I have a full-time job and a 7-months old baby :)

41 year old married dad of two who also runs the kids to all of their practices, etc. here...

What I have been doing lately that has been REALLY, REALLY useful is to plan out my entire day the night before. I've started using www.getplan.co which has really helped me out. This way I can block out chunks of time for specific tasks, and at the end of the day I know exactly where I'm at, what hasn't been finished, what is a priority and I can modify my tasks to suit those needs. I've found that I've been WAY more productive this way, rather than waking up and trying to figure out what I need to do for the day, it's lying there waiting for me.

Using this system I intentionally never work past 6pm (usually start my day at 7am, with various kid centric errands sprinkled throughout the day), and I have found that I am moving my side project forward much faster.

Hey David!

I have a demanding full-time job, run a busy web development shop, and am working on a product. I am blessed with a supportive wife and 2 children (4 and 7).

Time management is always something I look to improve. I am not great at it but having strong passion for the work I do which keeps me focused. Every evening after the kids go to sleep my wife and I work on our businesses. Lunchtime, I am working on my business. Most vacation/personal time is taken to go to conferences and meet with clients.

Having people around you that share your passion and support your efforts is key. A passion for what you do outside of just making money is key.

With kids, making the time to focus on them is also critical. Tonight we are looking forward to Pine Wood Derby with my son's cub scout pack!

Still have a lot of learning and growing to do, it's not easy... but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Totally not a lost cause, you got this!!

Note: my first comment here on indie hackers... seems like an awesome community!

Hey d_k, I’m 39 with two kids. I would say that it is NOT a lost cause! It may be slightly different as I have been self-employed for a long-time but when my child was 1, I spent almost 15 weeks (working around customer work) to build the MVP for a company that now employs people and pays my bills. It meant 100 hour weeks and some serious support from my wife, but it IS possible and paid off in the end 😀

I’ve launched two new companies since then (of which one has recently closed).

So don’t let it be a barrier. Just another thing to juggle 🤹‍♂️

My first comment on IH, and thanks to you David for posting this threa.

I am 40yr old dad with a full-time job, divorced with my daughters (7 and 10) with me every other week, and no family around me.

Dad first, that's my rule too like every other dad commenting here.

I turned a side project as a business in my early thirties when my first daughter was born. Then launched a product called Shareist (http://www.shareist.com) with my business partner (also a dad). After my divorce, I had to restructure my life, got off Shareist for a while, got a full-time job to provide stability for my daughters and myself and rebuilt my life one step at a time. I have to say that I am very lucky to love my job truly and i consider it a hobby, not work.

Two more years went by, i focused on myself, self-growth, re-evaluating who i was and wanted to be, and most importantly figure out what i wanted to achieve in life for the next 30 years+. Entrepreneurship is my passion and i realized that it has a positive influence/effects not only on me but on my daughters. I learn so many lessons that i share with them continuously: go for the moon, don't be afraid to fail, create solutions to problems, prioritize your tasks, etc. And they understand that i do more than just working a full time job, though not losing on any moments or experiences with me.

For the past year, i have been spending time on a new side project which i started to code during the Christmas break.

Here is the schedule i started: I wake up at 5am, have breakfast and work until about 7am+. I go to work at 8:30am, do what i am best at until 4:30-5pm, then get back home and either work if the girls aren't with me, or take care of them/extra curriculum activities/homework/dinner, then i get back to work after bed time at about 8pm until 9:30pm which is when i try to go to bed to get a good night sleep. On the week ends, every time they want to play for a while, do crafts or watch some TV, i use that time to work.

My advice #1: family first, learn to put the phone and computer down, be present.

My advice #2: Sleep. You have to, or you won't last. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Humans can get used to 7 hours of sleep and make this a habit for years. Not 6 hours or less, this doesn't last. You have to train yourself.

My advice #3: find a few "good/close" friends who get it, who give a shit , who can motivate you by being interested in what you are developing. It's been huge for me.

Very glad to see all these responses.

Another David here.

I want to give a reverse story here. More of a "done that, ditched that."

I was working full-time at a high level in a big corp. I had a very successful website that I did on my own. Married, 2 kids, and a long commute.

While young, it was sustainable, but then, quickly, it's not. Age is a factor, yes, but it's more about lifestyle. You're missing out on your family, or you're behind in your own thing (a feeling you always have, but this was an extreme), or behind at real work.

Eventually, I knew tweaks were not going to cut it. I left both jobs. I sold my own site, and I quit my job. Time to repair home. And I needed time -- a lot of it. While it gave my bank account a quick jolt, it wasn't good for it long-term. But it was good for life.

Now, job back in hand, family routine solid, and I'm back at creating things on the side.

Things I'm doing differently:

• family first, always

** your partner is just as important as your kids (remember, kids grow up and leave)

• making my commute easier. I train it. While I want 10 more minutes with my family, if I need to wait for another train to sit comfortably on it (whether it's to read, play, work, drink), I'm doing it. Keeping stress away lets me go to work or home better.

• finding day work that isn't 24/7. This is impossible today if you work on the good ole internets or anywhere at an exec level, but what I really mean here is that answering an email or two at night is fine. Having an expectation that you're working every night for hours isn't. It's not an easy task to find this, but it's very important.

• when looking at new side projects, making sure I dictate the schedule. This was a problem for the site I sold, and I guess I'm burying the lede a bit here: I was creating/reporting on outside events, so nights, weekends and random other things were taken away from me. I don't plan on getting into that situation again.

• creating a schedule for all the things. Not just work, but home life. Important dinners, outings, etc. Get them on your schedule. It won't just help you with those events, but planning your own time around it. It bleeds into everything in a good way.

• cutting out things that aren't important to you. The "to you" is an important thing here. So many people take this to mean you should never watch TV again. No, if you like it, do it. Relaxing is good for you, do what makes you happy, and entertainment comes in all forms. But a lot of us create/pick up/form habits that take us too long to step back from and say "why am I doing this?" Creating a schedule can help identify these things.

A bit of a ramble, so I'll cut it, but I've made and learned from a ton of mistakes here.

33, and a 3'6 yo demanding kid. If I do not give him attention, he ensure to grab by turning off my laptop.

I built https://beeceptor.com. It's a developer tool to help in rapid development for UI and backend developers by creating mock API endpoints. It was like 2 months building POC late in the nights, one month a trial run with friends. Last two months in public beta - a few users, no paying customers yet, doing SEO myself, indie hacker.

Consistency is the key. do it in morning or late night.
My rule is simple - If I cannot do today, ensure you do tomorrow. But don't delay things for 3 days.
Find 10 mins time slots in-between days and try to make use of those for smaller tasks (like this one - posting on IH)
Do important things first and not get bogged into less important ones. Let a few automation left out for manual work unless needed. E.g. I am sending invoices manually rather than automated payment gateway.

Yep, mid 30s and married, one young kid.

The trick is I am a dad and husband first. Then full time worker, then indie in between.

So many inspiring comments in here! I'm turning 39 this year and heading into parenting for the first time, and am a bit terrified at the lack of time that I'm probably going to have. It's great to hear all the stories of people making it work though!

I’m 34 with two kids (2 and 4) and can echo what Jordan said but burning the other side of the candle. I get a lot of my side project work done at night after the kids (and the wife usually) are in bed. I’m a bit of a night owl so that does help.

I love how this thread is like a support group! And boy do we need it :P I have a 20 month old and soon to have another. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to do the fun (work) stuff on the side anymore, I left corporate and joined an amazing crew of hackers at a start up(ish) co. This way, my side project is my work, and my family is my side project :)

I'm 33 with two kids, 4 and 7.

I've been trying to make the product thing work since 2008. I've had some modest successes.

As far as managing time goes, I've tried a lot of different strategies/tactics. What I've finally found to work is the schedule of spending the first hour of the weekday on product work. I tend not to work on weekends.

Since product work is the most important work for me long-term, I gave myself permission to give the most important work priority over all other work.

Each individual day feels like a drop in the bucket but it's amazing how far you can go in a relatively short period of time if you just put one foot in front of the other.

✋ Full time job, with 2 kids. I don't need much sleep, that helps.

full time Dev job 28 years old , 3 kids - 7- 3 -1 years old , and my partner works evenings so working on projects is a luxury :D

No children yet, but I'm reminded of PG's quote on the subject of being productive and a parent (I'm paraphrasing a bit): Having kids is a good way to be efficient. Because you have no time left so if you want to get anything done, the amount of done you do per time is high

I’m 29 with 3 kids and one more on the way. It does get a little harder, but it’s doable. I’ve always been a night person too. So, I usually work on side projects from 9:30pm - 1:30am or so.

37yo with 2 girls (4 and 1 week old). Very refreshing to read about other dads productivity tips. I just created a Telegram Channel if you want to discuss more: https://t.me/hackerdads

I am a full time remote consultant as well as a solopreneur. I have 4 kids so I do get overwhelmed with the pressure of work and family commitments. However, I have recently started to spend more time in organizing my stuff to achieve a work-life balance, as much as possible.

I am using Todoist as my task management app, have written this blog post about it recently..

http://www.kashifaziz.me/todoist-productivity-tips.html/

I managed to launch http://www.virtsync.com/ when my son was a baby and I was in full time employment. I had managed to pre-sell $300 of licenses, so I had not choice but to build it.

37-yo with a 4-yo and a 1-yo here. I found getting strict with a regular night time routine that get's the kids off to sleep as early as possible helps... just so I could get to bed earlier. This allows me to get up a couple of hours before everyone else in the house as mornings are now much more productive for me than nights (it used to be the opposite pre-kids).

I'm a hacker with a full time job and soon-to-be 4 kids. I put my family before my work and my responsibility to my full time position before my side projects.

Working successfully in that situation all comes down to being organized and getting really good at effectively using each minute of the day.

37 y.o. here, two kids 7 and 2, girls. I hear you man, it's a struggle. With a full time job developing and family it is very hard to find the time or the energy. I find myself having to take a few weeks off side projects just to keep my sanity and going to the gym helps me relax the brain tension.

I manage to get a few smaller paying gigs on the side but no success in the start-up world yet. I do have a project I've been working on since last year that is picking up steam again :)

Don't give up!

Yes, Family first! David, I am 38, with 4yo and 9months, been working remotely and trying this side thing for the past 15 months. The process is completely non-linear and non-deterministic.

I 'try' to get enough sleep to be locked in each day from 8pm - 12am to hack away.

Each day I look at my kids and am reminded why I am doing this. My wife is supportive and we want to work hard for the kids. So we're on the same page and that is CRITICAL.

Don't be too hard on yourself. The first 6 months of our second were tough but remember it is a marathon and not a sprint. So you can change the pace but don't stop running! (At least these are the things I tell myself haha!)

As a father of two the best hack I've learned is super simple but has made all the difference to my energy levels:

Drink 2 litres of water a day - absolute gamechanger!

Hi David you are not alone :)

Same situation here. Great suggestions in this thread.

What I am doing is a bit different.

First I got a full team of 4 (2 backend, 1 frontend 1 designer) to work on this with me otherwise progress would be very slow.

We work 4 days for a client and Friday is 100% for our side projects.

We have been doing this for some months and it’s working.

Not a parent myself (yet), but this is an interesting thread that clearly resonated with much of the community here! Looking forward to a super productive (& family-filled) 2018 for all of you :)

David - My name is David, I have two boys, aged 4 and 1, live in the UK and I'm 32. Small world!

I have started my side project with 2 little ones and a full time job.

I agree with others that having a schedule helps and also sharing this so the family know when you can be disturbed compared to when you need to have your head down.

Well, im 30 with a fulltime job and a 2.5 year old boy. For me its more painful to go to sleep without making some progress on something than it is to grind until 2am and my eyes are burning.

Its a slow process. I also help out my wifes business every friday night. I was half assing it until I decided I would dedicate friday nights to it and things have improved on that front. Sunday is reserved for family and producing my weekly vlog so that takes time too.

One thing i really struggled with was always making a lot of projects but never shipping them due to the extra work needed to productionize parts of them. So a while ago I decided I would focus instead on learning how to productionize everything I need to so that its not an issue anymore. So far thats going great actually.

Also I decided in 2019 im gonna go indie hacking full time for at least a year.

Yep, I have 2 kids and a full-time job. I hack on nights and weekends when I can. Sometimes I wake up around 4-5 am on the weekend and get in a few good hours of uninterrupted work. It's tough but I try to spend as much time as I can with my kids, they really do grow up so fast.

Just had a baby last year (our first). Struggling to find the time to do any side projects now. At the same time, wondering how I wasted all that free time I didn’t know I had before my daughter was born!

Never a lost cause... Casey Neistat started Beme when he just had a baby, he sold his company for $25 million in like a year or two of dev and created a super successful youtube channel at the same time.

Do work!

Wow. I'm actually blown away by the openness and vulnerability on this thread. Great to know we are not alone.

I'm 33 with a 15 month old daughter - she's just started walking and the time we get to spend together is GOLD right now. Having a family has made me acutely aware of being dilligent in how I spend my time so that I can be home and around for bath and dinner time.

Technically not a hacker, but a marketer for a product in the Tech industry - so I understand a lot of the pressures associated with it. I find that doing some of my planning at night when my wife puts our daughter to sleep (I just get them both excited and worked up = a late night for everyone), sets me up to hit the ground running in the morning. I do one super early morning in the office per week to focus and grind out major articles/video scripts.

I also find that slack on my phone is a great tool to help action certain things while I'm on the go - almost like a personal to do list as stuff comes into my head.

I became a Dad and joined a startup in the same year. So that's been pretty exciting - I wrote an article about some of the lessons I've learned: https://medium.com/swlh/8-lessons-becoming-a-dad-taught-me-about-surviving-in-a-startup-8571c7ff1e1f

My first post on IndieHackers - stumbled onto it super recently - really digging the vibe. :-)

Long time lurker here! I joined Indiehackers just to chime in with everyone else - family goes first, always. I'm finding less and less time to hack away at side projects, but for me it helps to divide tasks into two categories:

a) Stuff I need to sit down and focus on (1 hour and more)

b) Small stuff I can chip away at whenever (30 seconds to 1 hour)

This helps me keep prioritisation clear. For instance, tonight when the wife will go out with a friend I'll be home to take care of our three-month old toddler. I'll have one thing from category A open on my computer. My trello board tells me it should be the search, so when my son falls asleep (which he usually does at 21:00 or so) I'll get right on it. When he wakes up, I'll pause work and play with him instead. And so on.

Other times I'll do some small stuff whenever I feel I have downtime - for instance on my phone on the commute to work (which takes roughly 10 minutes). My current project have me checking a huge amount of reviews to extract snippets and scores from HTML, so I built a tool that attempts to do it automatically but place the review in a queue for me to check later. On the commute I can check 10-20 of those reviews. Do that twice a day, and over a month I'll have done a lot of them.

But, in the end, realising that you must focus on different things at different times in your life is the best thing ever. Glad to see the community here acknowledges that.

God I totally understand the undercurrent and emotion in this question and this thread. As a mother of twin toddlers who soon turn three, a full time job heading the marketing function at work and being a military spouse I feel like my life is a constant juggle and coffee feels more dear than oxygen. Like many of you mentioned - being tired is a default state all day. Glad to know there are so many of us dealing with similar pressures and yet succeeding in finding the balance !!

I'm 40 with two kids under six and a third due shortly. I run my web business "full-time" as well as a few side projects (a co-working space, a drone photography thing, a sports forum, vanspiration.com, apps, etc - full list at isaacforman.com.au). I'd like to think I don't neglect my wife/kids but my business suffers due to time I put into other projects instead.

I am almost always tired. It gets harder as you get older. As others have suggested, put time into your ideas early in the morning rather than when you're tired and struggling late at night. For countless years, I'd spend 11pm-2am on side projects, but it wasn't very productive time.

Now, I do 1.5 days/week getting up at 5am and coming to the office early. I do bursts in the evening or on weekends, but it's not always effective. I also proclaim Wednesday evenings as "Side Project Wednesday" and stay late in the office, inviting anyone else to join me (in office or online).

If you have a really focused plan, then even 30-60 minutes in the morning gets stuff done.

Is your wife enrolled in your idea? For me (3 kids: 5, 3, 1) making sure my wife understands and likes the idea is vital since otherwise I'm hiding out trying to work on extra projects. It takes communication so this is not typical hacking work.

I'm 33, London based, with a toddler and the same goal. Would you consider teaming up?

Working on a side project while having a full time job is just hardmode :)

✋🏻