I need feedback for my feedback

Hello IH,

I put together some feedback for my friend's startup's landing page. I would love if you guys could take a look at the feedback and give me feedback on it.

Here are a few things I'm looking for -

1. Is the post formatted in a clear manner?

2. Am I misrepresenting the feelings that come up when you see the original vs the revised landing pages?

3. If you were CEO of doc.ai, which landing page would you go for?