I will critique your homepage for you - II

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Love it. Can't see any areas for improvement. I can see myself using this!

Are you planning to expand it to other platforms?

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Btw, is this an Indian site? I’m interested in interviewing Indian startups for my TT2C - Tales of Tier 2 cities - publication on Medium. I’m looking for startups located in India outside the big cities.

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Hey, I'm done for now. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again. Thanks for understanding.

Jump right in! If you want to join Artisana and critique websites, I'd be happy to add you as a writer so you can post your own critiques. Just let me know your Medium id.

Hey @woutr, take a look at my E2 below. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again.

E2 - I'm going to have to stop after CopyCoding. We'll do this again in June.

Hey @seanw, take a look at my E2 below. If you want to drop off your email here - https://ramachandr.in/about/ - i'll ping you in June when I do this again.

E2 - I'm going to have to stop after CopyCoding. We'll do this again in June.

Your headline is pretty good already. My only question as a possible user would be with the subheading. You say "whenever" but I am more concerned with "wherever". Can I save code snippets at home and reference it at work using CopyCoding?

If so, you should mention this.

https://medium.com/artisana/useribbon-6f6e2a85d9bc

Excuse my bluntness but there is something vaguely “crazy” about the original copy. When I visit a website, I don’t expect to do something for someone else. Usually, the website does something for me. This is true of even a quiz site where you answer questions. The tradeoff there is that you will be told what your spirit animal is or something like that. In your case, you’re telling me to shop normally AND control your company for you. I’m not ready for that level of engagment. This also goes for the button title — “Install button, seize control.”. I don’t know about others but I felt you were asking me to participate in a proletariat revolution.

So I changed the copy to something more mainstream — “Let your everyday shopping drive our public benefit activism”

And the button title to “Install Button to Guide Us”

This is such a useful app!

I would highlight the countries, provinces, and cities you cover. It will help you filter out people like me who might not live in a jurisdiction you cover right now but will clutter your mailing list.

https://medium.com/artisana/broadcastlaunch-13c8feb18c7

I didn't at all understand what "The Only Radio Station Communication Platform" could mean. It felt incomplete. "The Only platform" …to do what?'

I changed the headline to "The only social media and communications platform your radio station needs."

I like the subtitle so I have left it unchanged.

Your copy is clear and to the point. I would have written something similar if I were launching such a service. Love it.

Looks like you are targeting people who know very little about or don't think deeply about application resiliency. Insofar, you are going to 1. educate them and 2. then convert them into customers. This is going to be a long cycle. For such a customer segment, your copy is great as is. Your header image is forbidding which is in keeping with the theme of resilience.

Otoh, given the technical nature of your product, it might make sense to not waste your time educating the ignorant and focus on the folks who are already aware of and looking for application resiliency solutions. Not sure how you are going to find such people but this might help you find customers fast. Once you have customers, you can always have a link explaining why application resiliency matters to educate the less aware customers.

Your value prop is clear to anyone who's been stuck with a broken website during crunch time. I would maybe add some testimonials and the average turnaround time for a majority of bugs.

Also, highlight the kind of websites you can fix - maybe your focus is SquareSpace, WP, and Wix. Just mention those along with their logos.

I'm a huge fan of images instead of copy so right there I like your approach. My only suggestion is that "Forget about this" and "Do this instead" are not clearly distinguished from each other. Use starkly different colors maybe?

(Little things that can make your graphic pop.)

Black on dark green is hard to read. Make your arrows stand out more.

https://www.themelatte.com/

The copy is pretty good already though I would consider using "..your business.." and "..your website.." instead of the definitive.

I would also add a link to the "Why Choose ThemeLatte?" section because it explains the value prop in greater detail.

https://medium.com/artisana/convopanda-d526c3cfedf1

Very conversational headline with a pointed value prop. Love it.

I modified the subheading to bring the focus back to the site visitor by inviting them to “Learn..” rather than telling them to “Enroll..”.

I changed the tense of the first sentence in the subheading to “…increased..” and “…made…” .This is a subtle change which I believe will convey to potential subscribers that using bots actually works!

Your copy is great as-is. Succinct. The progression from value prop to call to action makes complete sense. Good job!

https://medium.com/artisana/paybackhub-ec6fae503650

The headline appears in two lines which seems odd to me. My first change was to remove the gratuitous line break.

The subheading/value prop — “The process is simple” — does not stand out enough so I made it an h2 title and modified the language a little to “The process is as simple as 1..2..3”.

I used an ordered list to list out steps 1..2..3 to get ca$hback.

I also highlighted that 5 new products are added every week.

Love it! Succinct. Explains the problem from the pov of the site visitors, gives a plausible solution. What is there not to like about your homepage! Good job.

My only complaint​ is that white on pink is impossible to read. Check with some UX experts to see what they say?

(This guy!!! Screw this guy and niche.fm! Hope his playlists turn into static.)

https://medium.com/artisana/niche-fm-559647f0b81e. I gave detailed feedback here. Hope it makes sense.

Your copy is fine as-is. Personally, I am on the lookout for a good SaaS subscription solution so I saw this site not just as a critic but as a potential customer. My first impression was positive so you're already on your way to a conversion! Congrats!

I would have considered signing up iff you had told me which products - Stripe, PayPal, Braintree, whatever else - ServiceBot works best with. For a product like yours, you need to mention trusted brand names like the above front and center to make me feel like I can rely on you. Right now, your product seems very stand alone and that makes a potential customer like me nervous.

Assuming miners know why monitoring is necessary, I think your copy is fine as-is.

If not, you may want to explain why miner monitoring is necessary before getting to "Simple and inexpensive...".

Yuser is a little hard for me to critique because I can't figure out what it does.

If I am a social media maven,

1. will you ask me to move to Yuser?

2. How will Yuser reward me for creating content on, say, Instagram?

I've still put together some suggested changes here - https://medium.com/artisana/yuser-b858689af850

Hope they help.

Your value prop is clear and succinctly presented. My only issue is with the URL. I honestly expected a site which had something to do with ocean liners, manifests, and shipping.

The other issue I had - which doesn't relate to copy as such so feel free to ignore - is that the site colors are very grey. Maybe add some signature design elements and throw in some color?

https://medium.com/artisana/hostedmetrics-ada55e35167f

Check out Indemandly before I get into the changes I'd like to suggest. Notice how their value prop gets typed and then erased.

In order to connect with your site visitors from the get go, my first change would be to actually list out the top 3–4 monitoring and metrics products the same way Indemandly does it. So, your headline becomes "Let us monitor IfluxDB|Graphite|Akumuli|DalmatinerDB|Prometheus|RiakTS.." where each of the names gets typed out, then erased.

My reasoning is simple - when you put the product names up for people to see, you show that you know exactly what your sweet spot is. People trust transparency. Don't make them hunt for names of products below the fold.

Feedback welcome.

https://medium.com/artisana/posthook-18afa70910bb

I know “Crontab” is very jargon-y but given that you’re talking about APIs, I felt crontab would get the message across well enough.

https://medium.com/artisana/pacafood-e000bc0e4fa8

I found “Complete Meals.” very jarring and abrupt especially with the period.— like I was supposed to know something but I didn’t. My first thought was whether the same single meal in the Paca bag would cover breakfast, lunch, AND dinner? I didn’t fully understand what exactly the bag contained until I read the “Rethink Food” section.

I updated the headling to “One Bag. Three Meals.” to help people like me understand that it wasn’t one giant blob of food I’d be eating all day. Instead, it was three separate meals.

The original subheading didn’t mention anything about health and calories. I may be too busy or lazy to pick up food but I still want to know that Paca is a healthy alternative. With this in mind, I changed the subheading to “Each meal (just 654 cal!) covers all major food groups, giving you healthy energy to focus on things that matter”

https://medium.com/artisana/witsi-99be9037e171

“You Deserve Rewards” means nothing. Rewards for doing good? For being early to work? For what!?!? Add to that the website’s vague name — Witsi — and the equally vague robot clipart and there is little chance anyone who first comes to the site will know what Witsi does. If you are asking for access to bank details, you cannot afford to be coy about your value prop.

So, my first change was to drag out your value prop from the “How It Works” page and place it on the home page. Hope this helps.

https://medium.com/artisana/pullreminders-fa7109d46d2

Tl; dw;

1. The original copy seemed (to me) to be addressing two people at the same time — 1. the frustrated person who initially submitted the pull request and 2. the person who needed to be reminded to review and release the pull request that #1 submitted. I fixed the language to focus only on #1

2. The original headline is from the product’s perspective. It answers the question “What is this product?” — it is a Slack reminder tool for pull requests.

So? Good copy should answer the question “Why should I use your product?” “Because your pull requests sit in limbo for far too long and we can help solve that”. With this in mind, I changed the headline to “Waiting too long for code reviews?”

*Here's the tl;dw; feedback - *

I felt “Awesome bedtime story” was being repeated repeatedly. So I pruned it.

I highlighted FREE from the reader’s perspective. Instead of showing off how good you are because you are giving away a free story, I placed the site visitor in the driver’s seat.

Awesome UI though. Evokes children’s stories!

I have a bit more stuff here - https://medium.com/artisana/dugglo-e82f4f1fa34

I don't see any large bodies of copy that would qualify as "main copy". Are you referring to the following two lines?

*We write in-depth Wordpress Plugins reviews

So you can make better buying decisions.*