August 9, 2018

I'd love feedback for my landing page

I'm working now on a new product with a couple of friends. We are close to an MVP for investors we connected with, but at the same time, we wanted to share our idea and start building a community around it.

As I said we are coding the product, so we decided to go with a no-code solution for the landing page and picked carrd.co. What an awesome product!

I'm asking if you could have a look at it and give me some feedback

  1. Is it clear the purpose?

  2. Are there any grammar errors?

  3. Any other feedback you could give

Here is the link: JPlanner

Thanks! It's really appreciated :D


  1. 6

    Cool, clean design, but personally, I would like to see clear headlines of what exactly it is I get at the end. I felt there's too much text and not enough clear headlines. People don't have a great attention span when looking at websites.

    Good luck with your project!

    1. 1

      Totally agree here - I feel like all I want to consume is features right away. After I understand the underlying value you can give me as a potential customer, I'm all for hearing a story.

    2. 1

      You are right! I'm rewriting the whole text description! Thanks for the feedback, appreciated :D

  2. 2

    I've worked in the travel industry, so I'd change your main headers (that mean nothing to me and tell me nothing about what service you offer) of:

    JPlanner

    If AirBnb and TripAdvisor had a baby

    To something like (this is just off the top of my head):

    Turn your next trip into a unique experience

    Explore a place like never before, with the help of a local trip planner and experience the best of what a place has to offer.

    Just my 2 cents :)

    1. 1

      Thanks Robert! Really appreciate your feedback. You are right that quote is much of a pitch slide rather than a headline. I'll change that! Thanks again!

  3. 2

    First impression was: this looks pretty, well done.

    Then I didn't really get:

    • Why would I sign up? What do I get as a planner? Why should I care?

    • Why would I sign up as a traveller? It seems like you'll connect me with local people to help me plan, but it's not clear - will they provide me a free or paid service?

    • Is this more like a community of travellers and locals or will it be a platform for services that planners sell to travellers? From mentioning AirBnb I imagine it'll be about selling services, but I think it needs to be clear.

    • How will it all work? What's the incentive to sign up?

    I like the messaging around making travel tailored to you, but it just mentions an idea and fails to tell me what JPlanner actually is / how will it work for both travellers and planners.

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedback! Really appreciated :D You are right, I'll try to do my best to describe it! Thanks a lot

  4. 2

    First impressions (without reading any other comments to avoid anchoring myself, so sorry if these are repeats):

    • "AirBnB for Trip Planning" doesn't immediately make sense to me. Even when I think about it for a few minutes it doesn't make sense to me. What is the privately-held-under-used-asset that is being utilized?

    • I like the waterfall

    (Now I have scrolled down through all the content)

    • I don't know what a JPlanner is. The site asks "Are you a JPlanner?" Would I know if I was one? If so I guess that's ok, but I am guessing JPlanner is your term and the rest of us don't know what it is yet.

    • I am now assuming it is some sort of site for finding people with local knowledge of a destination city. That could be useful. Not sure how the marketplace (compensation) will work though.

    1. 1

      Hi chris, thanks for your feedback, appreciated!

      1. For the AirBnb quote, it's like you are connecting with a local, but instead of getting an accommodation you get recommendations and advice. Does this make sense? I mean I'm not sure, obv from my standpoint it does, but it's totally true that a web surfer may find it difficult to understand! Thanks for pointing out

      2. JPlanner is just a planner, nothing more :D It's like a youtuber for youtube :D

      3. Exactly, you got it right :D

  5. 2

    Idea: Love it! 🙌Curious to know, has this been done before?.. because I haven't seen anything similar yet.

    Changes: You could consider this or something similar for your headline 👇

    'Let a local plan your next trip'

    'Explore a place like never before, with the help of a local'

    Good luck! Do keep us posted on your progress 👉 earlystagenews.com

    1. 2

      Hi there, I actually found no "identical" platform. Thanks for your advice on the headline, I love them! And also for pointing out the website, we will publish there for sure!! :D

      1. 1

        I actually found no "identical" platform.

        Awesome! It's an amazing idea you've got there

        we will publish there for sure!

        Waiting for updates from your project. All the best 👍

  6. 2

    Nice page. The idea seems similar to Down To Dash. My suggestions are:

    1. You should put the year beside the copyright and add a privacy policy and terms and conditions page.

    2. Turn down the contrast for the main header picture, in order to make the text stand out

    3. Make the copy more concise. It's too long

    Good luck

    1. 1

      3 gold points! Thanks for the feedback! Really appreciated :D

  7. 2

    In brief, people don't read on the web. They scan.

    I just scanned the headlines on the page and don't know what the site is about or how it would help me. It took effort to go back and figure out the problem/value prop much less evaluate whether it mattered to me.

    Transform your headlines so that it summarizes the content beneath it. BLUF. Bottom line up front.

    For example, I felt like your service was best summed up midway through the second paragraph: "Get in touch with local planners to ask for recommendations about things to do, places to go or simply where to eat the best local food." Consider taking that and sticking it right at the top instead of the more inspirational/vague "Be a traveler, not a tourist."

    Don't make people think.

    I'm just one data point (and can be wrong), but hope it helps.

    1. 2

      I totally think you got it with "scan vs read", and you got me too :D I'll edit the page, thanks for your feedback! Really appreciated!

  8. 2

    Hey Tommaso,

    I would mainly add a subheadline at the end to explain in one sentence what are you building and when it comes out (if you have that in mind already). Simply because it gives them a more tangible reason to signup.

    Good luck ;)

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedaback Pedro! I'll definetely add one!

  9. 2

    Hey!

    Cool landing page.

    In my point of view, your visitors need to « dream » about your idea/project.

    A cool way to do it is to use big amazing photos/videos in order that they can imagine themselves.

    Your landing is maybe too white/empty, but it’s just my point of view.

    In France we have https://www.evaneos.net/ that matchs your idea, It can maybe inspire you.

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedback and for sharing the website! About the too little image I feel you, I should check if it's feasible to make them bigger with the template we picked, but I agree :D

  10. 2

    Ok...

    1. Congrats on launching.

    2. There's a mistake in the first line of text: "Is not bothering you to see and post the same images on Instagram of everybody else?" --> should be "Is it not bothering you to see and post the same images on Instagram as everybody else"

    3. You focus too much on what you do, and not enough on why I should want it. You need to get me interested/hooked on the benefit first, otherwise I just won't care about the what/how...

    Good luck!

    1. 2

      Thanks Louis! I'll correct immediately :D

      You are right, we should give more space to the "why" part. Really appreciated!

  11. 1

    Reading first "page" and then scrolled down to the second part and I still have no idea what your product is.

    I'm not saying you have done something wrong but you lost me after the second part, I exited right there.

    I'm coming from a background of game development, In game dev, it is a pretty common knowledge that you have to capture the viewer's interest in the first 5seconds of a trailer or they will lose interest. I usually go with the same approach to landing pages.

  12. 1

    I'm trying to do my first landing page as well. Some things I would change are:

    • people should know what you are offering at the top screen right away without having to scroll. Currently it's just "jplanner" and "Turn each trip into a unique experience". Maybe something like "Jplanner - personalized trip planning by locals to find the hidden gems on your next trip!"

    • have multiple places for sign up - one at the very top, one at the very bottom

    • when ppl scan and read the biggest headers, "our mission" doesn't tell me anything unless i read more

    • personally, I feel that the images are a bit faded / washed out and would prefer more pop to get me in a more excited mood. Also, most images have just 1 person, so it feels a bit lonely.

    1. 1

      Thanks for your feedback!! I'm working on restyling, thanks for sharing!

  13. 1

    Just The Landing Page:

    The images are too low resolution. You should consider either using media queries in your CSS or specifying different img sizes with html tags.

    It takes too long to scroll to try to understand what you want to do. You should have a section with the 4 keypoints of your project. I mean, I didn't abandon our page because I came from here. I would have dropped out much earlier if it would have been a google search.

    If you want to compel to planners, maybe you should change your wording to address their personal values and not just the 'get paid'. However, I believe you have to gather planners much before launching your product to end-customers. In that way your page is mainly about planning and not about convincing someone to plan a trip.

    About the Business:

    Even though it looks like a good idea, I would be very skeptical. Locals are no guarantee at all of a good experience. Locals do not stay at hotels in their hometown, for example. Very few people qualify as 'experts' in order to organize a trip, and I believe you can find them by going through their blogs and partner one by one, not by having a message on a landing page.

    From the customer perspective, I don't really see what is the value you are providing. You are going to give me a list of places to visit? Are you going to book hotels for me? Are you going to be my safety net if something goes wrong while traveling? If you are going to give me a file with bullet points on what to do in a city, I think I could rely more on a collective knowledge platform such as tripadvisor.

    1. 1

      Hi thanks for your feedback. I'm gonna answer with bullet points :D

      • images are low quality on purpose, to load the website faster. As I stated I'm relying on Carrd.co, so I'm not fully owner of the landing page

      • Fair enough, I should detail better from the beginning

      • This is not a competitor of Booking or Airbnb, the idea is not to tell you where to stay or so. It's more about things to do or places to visit which may not be the classic major attraction you find on Google, things that other travelers that fill Review Websites do not know (by design, cause they don't live there). Live more like a local that like a tourist.

      • From the customer perspective the product will be a digital plan (think of a Lonely Planet app interface), with the possibility to chat with a local planner, from the "I love running, where can I go?" to "I'm in Tokyo and I'd like an authentic ramen shop, like the old style ones you find in movies. What do you recommend?". And stuff like that

      The problem with Trip Advisor and co is that once you get the baseline it develops only vertically, 'cause people go where it's already "recommended". Moreover it uses recommendation from other travelers, which is fine, but it's like me reviewing a single ramen shop in Tokyo. I have little knowledge about what a good ramen should taste, and no knowledge about the other ramen shops around. So, it may not represent what's really worth doing/going in a location.

      But that's my opinion of course :D I may be totally wrong!

      1. 1

        I'm not aware of Carrd.co license scheme, but copying the HTML and tweaking it should be fairly simple. I understand about loading faster, that is why you have to split between mobile and desktop. If I am (like right now) a 1920x1080 display, most likely I will also have a high-speed internet connection and will prefer to see a nice photo instead of a pixelated one.

        Now I understand (sort of) your business model. Basically, you want to repeat :

        https://www.likealocalguide.com/

        ?

        1. 1

          Mmm I didn't know that service, but it's different. We don't imply the locals to be your tourist guide. Think of it as a human trip advisor, not a tour operator :)

          1. 1

            So, you mean something like

            https://www.spottedbylocals.com/ ?

            1. 1

              Not really. This is just a lonely planet by locals. No human-to-human interaction. Like you cannot say "I'll have 8h till my business flight departure. What can I do without missing my flight?". Look I'm not inventing the wheel 😅, it's just a different perspective of the same topic 😆

  14. 1

    Wow a lot more people post these requests than I thought when I was building Roast My Site. Post there as well to get good feedback! https://roastmy.site

  15. 1

    Who is the audience for this landing page?

    1. 1

      Our target users are millennials who seek a different travel experience rather than the usual tourist journey.

      So to a broader definition: young travelers

  16. 1

    my advice:

    Flights, rooms, meals, etc.

    Vacations are already expensive...Why not spend few bucks more and go from cliche and ordinary to your own personalized, unique experience completely planned out by your own personal local guide? Just like Samantha did in San Diego...

    PG advice: do what doesn't scale

    Do it manually for the first couple people

    1. pick a destination probably were your from and create a landing page around that specific place.

    2. design a funnel around a personalized all inclusive unique experiences. food, flight, local travel, sites, places to stay, etc.

    3. market/advertise the funnel on google

    4. get the person's info call and create a page for a deposit. ~$50-$100 at first just get someone to pay money. eventually setup affiliate arrangements with travel and hotels, airbnb etc. send for hotel, flights, groupons etc.

    5. take lots of pictures, help them post all over their social media, get a testimonial.

    6. repeat. automate. a more options/guides. expand to another city.

    1. 1

      I completely agree. There is a missing piece -- example of such plan. I would really love to read the story of how it is different from me reading about all the attractions on internet and planning my trip on my own.

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