Just curious. And maybe I’m building a dating app. <3
5
I was genuinely like, "What does this even have to do with indie makers" until I seen the dating app part haha
2
I thought it will be a "How to find your co-founder" post 😅
1
Well I think it’s fun question because it’s always nice to have your own personal cheerleader by your side haha vs. someone just nagging you for trying to do your own thing. I’m sure a lot of successful founders find strong support systems in their relationships that help inspire them or ruin them if they’re with the wrong person. For example if you’re an IndieHacker you probably wouldn’t want to be with a materialistic, heavy-spender. Also, when I ask people age 30+ what makes them happiest in life I usually get an answer about the family they built.
1
I think you probably would have gotten more feedback if you added the fact that it's for app research to the title of your post
2
I think the technical team behind Match.com release a breakdown of this kind of data every year or so. I read one a while back and it was really interesting. I don't remember much, but something that stuck with me is that what people say they're looking for and what they're actually looking for are two very different things.
Good luck!
2
What people say they're looking for and what they're actually looking for are two very different things.
Attraction is a visceral feeling: it comes from the animal instinctive part of our nature.
When asked about it, however, we refer to our cerebral logical self, and give socially acceptable or culturally programmed answers.
The two rarely align. People in real life will be attracted to others, who they would never logically consider.
Without making it personal: I've noticed a lot of people in multi-year stable relationships were one partner leaves, not because there is anything wrong, but because of a nagging perception that there might be something better on the horizon. Do you think this is down to consumer values influencing relationships: people treating partners as they would a car, something to be traded up?
1
I don’t know about the case for older people, but for young adults and millennials (I am one), I think social media and apps like Tinder really changed things up a bit. Kids grow up these days getting tons of likes and validation for seemingly little. It’s going to warp their sense of reality, making them feel like they always deserve better. The swiping UI/UX also trains people to think in black or white, 0 or 1, with plenty of shallowness and little to no complexity involved in getting to know a person. It’s crazy how quickly you can judge someone based on a picture these days, then it’s a simple swipe left or right. Because a swipe doesn’t necessarily equate to chemistry, people just go on mediocre date after date putting in little effort, giving up on a potential partner at the slightest hint of imperfection, knowing they can always just open up an app and swipe some more, ingrained with the fear of missing out on the best partner(s) they can get. The gamification of it all is rather genius for monetization purposes.
1
A very perceptive comment.
I overheard a conversation, yesterday, where a young women discussed leaving her boyfriend of two years, despite the comfort and stability, because she found something 'better'.
As character only reveals itself slowly with time, one wonders what 'better' can possibly mean in such instances? Clearly, as you allude, better must mean some instantly apparent - and quite transient - quality: looks, wealth, social status.
There has arisen, as you suggest, a subtle exchange of quality for quantity. For example, in the early 90s, if you wanted to learn a hobby you would be limited to whatever handful of books you could find at the local library/book store. You would consequently devour these books with intense concentration, reading every footnote and page.
Now we have unlimited material, to which only the most superficial attention can be committed.
1
Do you think this is down to consumer values influencing relationships: people treating partners as they would a car, something to be traded up?
No idea!
I imagine a lot of these decisions are made on a sub-logical level as well.
1
Yes, unconscious factors always rear their head.
Yet, I think there is a societal trend at play here too.
Aziz Ansari and Zygmaunt Bauman have some very penetrating books on the topic.
I was genuinely like, "What does this even have to do with indie makers" until I seen the dating app part haha
I thought it will be a "How to find your co-founder" post 😅
Well I think it’s fun question because it’s always nice to have your own personal cheerleader by your side haha vs. someone just nagging you for trying to do your own thing. I’m sure a lot of successful founders find strong support systems in their relationships that help inspire them or ruin them if they’re with the wrong person. For example if you’re an IndieHacker you probably wouldn’t want to be with a materialistic, heavy-spender. Also, when I ask people age 30+ what makes them happiest in life I usually get an answer about the family they built.
I think you probably would have gotten more feedback if you added the fact that it's for app research to the title of your post
I think the technical team behind Match.com release a breakdown of this kind of data every year or so. I read one a while back and it was really interesting. I don't remember much, but something that stuck with me is that what people say they're looking for and what they're actually looking for are two very different things.
Good luck!
Attraction is a visceral feeling: it comes from the animal instinctive part of our nature.
When asked about it, however, we refer to our cerebral logical self, and give socially acceptable or culturally programmed answers.
The two rarely align. People in real life will be attracted to others, who they would never logically consider.
Without making it personal: I've noticed a lot of people in multi-year stable relationships were one partner leaves, not because there is anything wrong, but because of a nagging perception that there might be something better on the horizon. Do you think this is down to consumer values influencing relationships: people treating partners as they would a car, something to be traded up?
I don’t know about the case for older people, but for young adults and millennials (I am one), I think social media and apps like Tinder really changed things up a bit. Kids grow up these days getting tons of likes and validation for seemingly little. It’s going to warp their sense of reality, making them feel like they always deserve better. The swiping UI/UX also trains people to think in black or white, 0 or 1, with plenty of shallowness and little to no complexity involved in getting to know a person. It’s crazy how quickly you can judge someone based on a picture these days, then it’s a simple swipe left or right. Because a swipe doesn’t necessarily equate to chemistry, people just go on mediocre date after date putting in little effort, giving up on a potential partner at the slightest hint of imperfection, knowing they can always just open up an app and swipe some more, ingrained with the fear of missing out on the best partner(s) they can get. The gamification of it all is rather genius for monetization purposes.
A very perceptive comment.
I overheard a conversation, yesterday, where a young women discussed leaving her boyfriend of two years, despite the comfort and stability, because she found something 'better'.
As character only reveals itself slowly with time, one wonders what 'better' can possibly mean in such instances? Clearly, as you allude, better must mean some instantly apparent - and quite transient - quality: looks, wealth, social status.
There has arisen, as you suggest, a subtle exchange of quality for quantity. For example, in the early 90s, if you wanted to learn a hobby you would be limited to whatever handful of books you could find at the local library/book store. You would consequently devour these books with intense concentration, reading every footnote and page.
Now we have unlimited material, to which only the most superficial attention can be committed.
No idea!
I imagine a lot of these decisions are made on a sub-logical level as well.
Yes, unconscious factors always rear their head.
Yet, I think there is a societal trend at play here too.
Aziz Ansari and Zygmaunt Bauman have some very penetrating books on the topic.
OkCupid also has some super interesting studies. For example the one on race https://theblog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009-2014-107dcbb4f060 and the how women rate 80% of men as below average attractiveness (that one got deleted cause it set off too many bombs) lol.
Someone who is passionate about something. I don't care if it's potatoes, just something.
This comment was deleted 9 hours ago.