Feedback on cold email
I am looking for feedback on my Cold email Content.
Email-
Hi <Prospect_client_name>,
Myself Ankur, co-founder of Hiretheverified (https://hiretheverified.com). We are building the platform to connect businesses with the verified freelancers directly.
As you mentioned in one of your post (<post_link_where_I_saw_their_requirement>), you are looking for <tech_name> Developers.
Sign up here(https://freelancer.hiretheverified.com/) and access the verified freelancers in no time.
Check out the product demo- https://youtu.be/LiMd37eNZWg
Reply to this email if you have questions or any other way I can help you with.
Thinks I have keep in my mind while writing this-
- Short and crisp.
- Send to those only who have the requirement and asked publicly.
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I'd start with a question that's relevant to them. For example, if they're hiring freelancers, they're probably sorting through mass-proposals on places like UpWork, Fiverr, etc. They're seeing a lot of generic, spammy proposals that bear no significance to their actual business, and that's frustrating - especially when you have to field hundreds of these.
So start with that pain point. Start with a question like:
"How many spammy proposals did you get the last time you tried to hire a qualified freelancer?"
Empathize with your lead. This is a huge, frustrating problem, so show them you understand. Don't be afraid to show your voice. This sounds like a very professional, formal email, which isn't bad, but it doesn't resonate when sent as a cold email.
So focus on those pain points, and maybe check out the PAS cold email/copywriting formula :)
Let me know if you have any questions! :)
"How many spammy proposals did you get the last time you tried to hire a qualified freelancer?"
Sound like a nice subject line. Thanks a lot. Let me rewrite the email and if there is anything I will ask you.
Decent first draft.
@LanaRafaela has some great advice. Follow that and also:
^ I second what @RyanWatson said!
Definitely focus on the benefits for them - not what your tool does, but how it's going to make their lives easier.
The sentence in which you introduce yourself doesn't sound very natural. Just a simple phrasing like "I am Ankur, co-founder of..." would work better in my opinion.
Then after the "looking for Developers", I'd add something explaining how the platform can be helpful for the person you're emailing. For instance, you could say that Hiretheverified gets you in touch with the people you're looking for easily...
Thanks a lot. Will definitely add these point while re-writing the cold email.
As you are aiming for B2B - I would remove any links - and introduce yourself as a founder working on X problem and that you'd love to know more about challenges they have with it...this is working well for me currently.
.....my email signature of course looks fab ;)
too many links. Most email service providers will send the email to spam. Use only one link.
Thanks for pointing it out.
I am a potential customer of yours. I wouldn't respond to this email, because it doesn't add any value or provide clear benefits. I don't want to watch a demo. I want to hire reliable freelancers, I want it to be fast and at a fair rate.
I want to know: what is the benefit? Why would I use your service? What are the results that you have provided?
Your service is pretty new -- turn that into a positive. Offer something that bigger services might not offer, a free audit, a free screen/page/widget... something to entice someone to try out your service.
You should be creating drip emails.
Each email should have a secondary link that will let you determine who is a warm lead (i.e. who has read your email and is interested) -- i.e. in the below email, you might track each link click to see if leads are interested in your service and how warm each lead is (and if each example is enticing to your potential clients).
Then you can follow up with secondary emails, for example offering a whitepaper on hiring remote devs.
Here's what I would write as a quick example:
Email One:
"""
Hi {First Name},
My name is Ankur and I'm a cofounder at Hiretheverified.com[link].
I saw your post[link] looking for {tech name} developers.
We created our site specifically for people like you - we want to remove the guesswork out of hiring remote devs. Here are some examples of work that some of our verified freelancers have produced: (ideally these would be similar to the ask)
example 1[link] - cost - timeline
example 2[link] - cost - timeline
example 3[link] - cost - timeline
You can post your job directly here[link] to get matched with a verified freelancer and to get a quote for your project.
Thanks for your time and good luck with your new venture,
Ankur
"""
Email Two:
"""
Hey { First Name},
Just wanted to check in again to see if you're still looking to hire remote {tech name} devs?
I wanted to share our free white paper on hiring remote developers[link] that might help you with your project, regardless of whether you choose to use our service.
If you have any questions, I'd love to hop on a 15-minute call with you to discuss our service and how we can help you, and why I think we're the best choice for you.
Cheers,
Ankur
"""
You might want to offer a smaller chunk of their project as a free trial to get started, i.e. break their job into milestones and offer one page/screen/widget of development for free. That would probably be the best way to get jobs quickly.
---
Some additional thoughts:
hiretheverified is a clunky name
i would hire a copywriter to improve the english on your landing page (i.e. simple things like "getting started" should be "get started")
i would cut about 70% of the text from the landing page. focus on benefits and what makes you unique vs upwork, fiverr, toptal, etc.
when someone clicks get started, let them get right into creating a job without creating an account.
focus on the results you have provided with clear examples and case studies.
Thanks for the detailed feedback. Much appreciated.
The employer can't post a job like other freelancing platforms. Surely the landing page and email are at fault here.
Let me go through your feedback. Thanks, man. Let me know if I can buy coffee for you.
You're welcome -- good luck with it :)
What are the steps the employer takes to hire someone?
Signup on the platform and start browsing the freelancer profile.If you like someone profile, hit the call/email button and Voila.
What is your conversion rate from signing up to reaching out to a freelancer? How many people does each signup reach out to?
Do you have a template for them to use when reaching out to freelancers?
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Why do you need a signup step to browse the freelancer profiles?
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IME, this is something that could be highly templated and it's better to be able to select 3-5 freelancers to get individual quotes for them based on a suitable product description.
I would think that it would be worth it for you to help them write the product description at least to start with ("do things that don't scale) -- this could improve your conversion rate and help your users get the product they want.
The best marketing is successful projects/products and evangelists.
What is your conversion rate from signing up to reaching out to a freelancer? How many people does each signup reach out to?
Do you have a template for them to use when reaching out to freelancers?
Why do you need a signup step to browse the freelancer profiles?
Hiretheverified is quite different from the existing platform in term of the way of hiring freelancers. It is not a proposal based marketplace but the user can directly hire the freelancer. For example - if someone wants to hire an Android developer, he just needs to filter out the android developer and see the in-depth profile details of the freelancers. Contact them.
Pay someone on Upwork and just write a one sentence email that is relevant.
Can you bit explain.
Yeah, I've never once responded to an 'auto-generated' email (at least to my knowledge). I've always thought, if these people just took one minute and browsed my website and then sent me a one-two sentence email, I would respond.
I would customize a title that strongly resonated to the prev exp of the out reach. Personally, I think you should not try hard at the first time.
The first goal of a cold email is that it's seen, hopefully replied with one sentence.
Pretty good, although after the 'As you mentioned...' paragraph, I'd have a sentence about why I'd sign up for your platform.
I think the product demo video could go at the bottom too.
Thanks for the quick feedback. If I sent you this email, will you open the email and sign up? Assuming you are looking for mobile devs.
This comment was deleted a year ago.
Supper helpful advice "Being human", my self to avoid "Being robotic". But since when you write to 10-12 people in a day, at the end of the day, It starts feeling Robotic.
Thanks for sharing your feedback.
This comment was deleted a year ago.