Landing Page Feedback October 16, 2020

Did I communicate the idea clearly?

Max Prilutskiy @prilutskiy

Hello hackers!

I'm launching a product and need your healthy criticism on the landing page.

The product is called Sirenchief.
Looking through the landing page, what do you think it's for? Initially, I was up to drop a short explanation of the product here, but I'm curious about what you think it does and how it looks like from a different angle.

I'll send my own description later in the comments for comparison. I'm trying to understand, am I communicating the idea clearly, or the copy is unobvious and worth rewriting.

https://sirenchief.com

Roast it!

  1. 1

    Hello Max! I could only imagine what your software does after reading smaller text "A smart notification center for remote teams.". Big words did not say much. After scrolling lower it seems that you notify teams into their favorite chat. Maybe you should make it clear like "get your team notified across different chats" ? Nice idea by the way (if I got it right) )

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedback, that’s really valuable! Doesn’t main features description make it clear?
      What would you change?

      1. 1

        here is my thinking order:

        1. I open web site, see big words, understand zero
        2. I luckily notice smaller text and imagine some universal notification software
        3. I skip too much text below (features) and notice 'aha, this can do notification into chats'
          I would say that it would be cool to steal visitor's attenction gradually - from 1-sentence description to more detailed description and then to features and chat icons. The missing step IMHO is something between 1-sentence description and longer description of features. But I am no expert, so grain of salt is implied =)
        1. 1

          All of that makes sense. I've already updated the copy twice, and yesterday I thought, like, wow, that's much better than the very first one - but apparently it's still not very clear.
          Thanks A LOT

  2. 1

    Hi Max,

    Imo the following hits cleaner:

    "We help teams and busy individuals organize their work."

    Are you married to the name?

    Why not use "Where work starts" in main copy (too close to slack maybe? they seem to have changed btw). For your product "Where work comes together" may work too??

    1. 1

      I really like the "Where work comes together", thanks, man!
      Btw, don't you think that just "organize their work" sounds not very concrete?

      1. 2

        Yep it's not concrete but I didn't understand the "their professional apps and communication" immediately. I thought it may be aimed at app development teams.

        If you're going with "Where work comes together" in hero then "organize their work" would be too repetitive anyway. Sometimes when you can't decide on words then removing them can be the best solution. How about just "We help teams and busy individuals".

        Anyway. Your call. It's a nice idea. Maybe seen before I don't know.

        But I feel there's a better name. Are you open to .io or something else or does it have to be .com?

        1. 1

          Sometimes when you can't decide on words then removing them can be the best solution.

          That's gold.

          P.S. Decided to start with any random name, wanted it to be .com.

          1. 1

            How about nowtasks(com), teamhappier(com) or taskpunk(com)?

            1. 1

              Not bad, especially the last one. Are you using some kind of name generator?

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