Feedback ask - beware LONG article linked - Thank you!
Heya!
Well first of all, if you clicked, that shows your intention to help out, and that is a kind and nice gesture, so thank you for clicking, even if you don't check out the article, I understand. Still, thank you!
So I wrote this article: 8 Factors You Must Consider When Choosing A Coworking Space (linked), which is LONG.
Now the fact that it's long is intentional, I'll do a short version too at some point, to make a kind of recap. But in this article I wanted to point out in depth the information one should consider when they choose a coworking space.
So I get quite a bit of traffic on this post (compared to my other posts and in terms of the traffic my site generates, which is minimal), but the bounce rate is up in the sky. I know that it's probably too long, but I don't know WHAT ELSE IS WRONG with it.
So any comment would be very welcome in that regard!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BLOG POST? - is the question
Thank you for getting through the post, and reading on!
Cheers,
I'm a big fan of long, in-depth articles. They're great for establishing your authority and ability to address the reader's pain. Here's what I saw:
I'd recommend:
Here’s what I mean, applied to the first three paragraphs (your hook, and the most important part of the article). This is what you have:
This could be as simple as:
This lays out the pain the article addresses in clear, unadorned language, and promises a balm to that pain.
The whole article could use similar treatment (though perhaps not as severe).
Pop the text into http://www.hemingwayapp.com/ and try to eliminate all yellow, red, and green flags.
(An aside, why is javascript being used to keep me from selecting or right-clicking?)
Thank you @eykd for the valuable feedback!
This is truly great insight! I'll sort these out as you recommended, though I wanted to ask you, are you sure that the hook should consist of sentences that are so short? I mean I know that I have a tendency to overwrite stuff and I most certainly did it there too, but isn't that too short?
Thank you for the tip with the website you mention, I'll check it out too!
And about the JS, yes I just saw that, don't know why that is I'll also have a look at it!
Thank you again for this great insight and review!
All the best David,
Cheers, David :)
The hook shouldn't be short or long.
Your hook should persuade your readers that there's something worth their time to read.
Your copy should always respect your audience.
Readers on the internet tend to be busy and distracted.
Short sentences with simple construction are easy to read.
Short paragraphs are easy to skim and scan. They move the reader along to the meat of the article, where you deliver on the promise of the hook.
A good hook is all about persuading the reader to keep reading. It's about building trust: promising, then delivering. (Read this comment from the beginning again. I'm practicing what I preach.)
Once you've hooked your reader, once he sees the value of what you're delivering in your writing, then it's safe to let out the slack a little. You can write a little more, let your prose breath a little more. Mix it up. Use more complex constructions if you like, just don't overdo it.
(Don't overwrite. It's good you recognize your tendency. That's the first step to overcoming it. :))
Mate, you are a master at this! True MASTER! :) Thank you for your help and advice! I'll try to do as you say, but no way I'll be able to reach your level of perfection! :)
Cheers,
David
Ha. :) Like any craft, writing just takes practice. Lots and lots of practice.
Maybe you also have some innate talent! ;)