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Granola copy version 2

Hey all,

After getting some feedback on my copy I made some updates that I'm looking for feedback on.

Original post: https://www.indiehackers.com/post/im-pretty-bad-at-copy-but-if-someone-could-take-a-peek-at-my-site-and-help-me-in-the-right-direction-c472b02ab6
Website: https://www.homemadecrunch.com/

I made three changes.

  1. Hero copy now reads:
    Finding healthy & guilt-free granola that tastes this good
    Makes life this good

  2. Move the about me section down to the footer since it really isn't that important.

  3. In its place I added 3 points:
    Bullet 1 headline - Great tasting and naturally sweetened
    Bullet 1 body - We only use natural sweeteners in our granola such as locally sourced maple syrup and honey.

Bullet 2 headline - All COVID-19 safety precautions are taken
Bullet 2 body - Every surface and cooking utensil is thoroughly cleaned and masks are worn during the entire preparing, baking, and packaging process.
**When COVID is less on people's minds I think I'll swap this out for this: **
Bullet 2.1 headline - Support local Upstate NY farms
Bullet 2.1 body - Eating local protects farmland, reduces food miles, keeps money within your community, and allows farmers to keep more of the profit.

Bullet 3 headline - Made by hand in small batches
Bullet 3 body - You are always getting the freshest and most recently baked granola possible. None of our ingredients or our granola is sitting around getting stale.

Any tips on how to improve. So far I'm pretty happy with the direction I'm going in. It already feels much better than the first version, but I also know that there is still a lot more room to improve.

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