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I'll write your first cold outreach sequence (10 steps) so you can book quality meetings in exchange for some feedback! (2h session)

Hey everyone, I have now talked to 68 founders and entrepreneurs coming from a non-sales background looking for ways to scale their sales efforts.

I am offering 2h consultations to write your first cold outreach sequence with you in exchange for some feedback on makesales.io

For those of you who had not seen it, I wrote this piece https://www.indiehackers.com/post/i-analyzed-64-562-cold-emails-sent-over-the-last-2-years-here-s-how-you-should-probably-rewrite-yours-c51503afa8 a couple of weeks ago.

During our session, I'll share the actual framework that converts, the cadence and the overall sales mindset so you can book quality meetings and build a repeatable sales process.

We'll write the first messages together: you bring the knowledge in your space, I'll bring the Sales science.

I can also respond to other sales questions should you have any.

Let's do this?

  1. 4

    Would love your help Victor, please read my feedback below. You can contact me through my email and my product is Dienox.

    Small disclaimer: these are not facts, this is my opinion and we are all learning everyday so please feel free to discuss anything you want! I'm only human and doing this with the best intentions.

    Header

    • "Find & close your next 100 customers" is not clear for me. I have no clue yet what you are doing. Finding the 100 customers might be what happens when I use your tool, but what do you sell? I don't suppose you sell 100 customers.
    • "MakeSales shows you where your next customers are, how to reach out to them, and assists you until the finish line." This is got my attention instantly, this is what I need and want.
    • Only now after copying this text I can see the input field for an email address. This should be the main CTA here but it does not get enough attention. Try making it bigger, use a different color or just anything that makes it stand out.
    • Make the CTA text more clear. What happens with my mail adres? Do I signup for an email list, waiting list or go into the app? I have no clue. Expectation manegement.
    • The illustration is nice! Love this vibe.
    • "Sales Engine for the Fortune 5,000,000" this could be me but I don't know or care about fortune 5 million companies. Use this section for some social proof, logo's or testimonials. Make me see that you helped others and you can also help mee.

    How it works

    • So for starters, the numbers are barely visible. I only noticed the numbers after my third time scrolling past them.
    • 7 steps is too much, 7 steps feels like a lot. Try sticking to the 1,2,3. #1 - find customers with our Linkedin extension, #2 - use our templates and mail them, 3# - book quality meeting. Try to look at it from your customers point of view and highlight your USP's. As far as I can see those are the LinkedIn extension, the email templates and your emailing system. I would LOVE to use a system that does these three things. But you're being to elleborate about how it works. Keep it simple.

    Simply take control of your growth

    • This section is nice and clean. The red icons surprised me tho, no red before this and all of the sudden 6 light red icons. I like the color it's just the first time you use it.
    • I think this section is pretty good as it is, maybe try making it 4 things instead of 6 and hide more info behind a click. Remember this is the homepage and your not trying to tell me Everything but just enough to get me interested to signup.
    • "Sell past your direct network" for me personally the fortune 500 references are pretty empty and don't make sense. I never thought you needed to be a fortune 500 company to sell like a pro, so maybe it's just a negative thing to start your setence with. Tell me what I should do instead of what I should not be.
    • Love the illustration again! Very nice.
    • "Sales is the art of humanizing a very mechanical process" <- that's a nice way to put it, maybe try losing mechnical in this. -> "Sales that scale is the art of humanizing automations".
    • Sidenote: After my last sentence I think "Sales that scale" is also pretty damn cool.

    Want to sell more?

    • Title is good but once again I have no idea why I should leave my info here, there is no actual "Call To Action". Yes I want to sell more, but why do you need my name, email phone and a message?
    • Lose the "Full name", replace it with only Name.
    • Put email next to name, so it's one line.
    • Lose the phone input field.
    • Lose the message field.
    • Now you just have Name and Email, combine this with a clear CTA and it's can't be easier to signup.

    Small disclaimer: these are not facts, this is my opinion and we are all learning everyday so please feel free to discuss anything you want! I'm only human and doing this with the best intentions.

    Let me know if you would like to know more! We design and build websites like these at Dienox.

    Hope this feedback covers a session, would love your input on our sales :) Good luck!

    1. 3

      @marijnroukens DUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!! ahahaha oh wow thank you so much!!! see, this is why IH is the only community that matters at this point. Thank you so much for taking the time to go so in-depth with your feedback. I literally just spent 45 minutes taking actions and making edits based on what you shared. I'm not going to ask you to revise again but I would love to return the favor!

      1. 2

        haha thanks! This was just 10 minute typing out my thoughts. Happy to help. I got your email and will schedule asap. Thanks and talk to you soon! Adjustmenets look great btw.

  2. 2

    Wow. This sounds definitely interesting! At Zilculator, we could definitely benefit from this deal. How shall I give you the feedback on makesales.io? Shall I just look at the site and write my thoughts, or are there some things I should look at first? Thanks!

    1. 1

      hey @Saastrapper, actually the best thing would be to hop on the call so we can talk about your sales objectives with Zilculator (I see you had 18 signups today!) and come up with your first sequence together! You can reach me at victor [at] makesales [dot] io

  3. 2

    Hi Victor, a bit confused when landed to your website. On the first page “make more sales” I put my email and nothing happened.

    1. 1

      hey @Tiltforindie we're fixing this as we speak, thanks for letting me know, I reached out though, talk to you soon!

    1. 1

      alright Hari I just wrote to you, let's go!

  4. 2

    Love to help you Victor.

    1. 1

      Cool, I reached out to you!

  5. 2

    This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

    1. 2

      bam! I just sent you an email, excited for this one

      1. 2

        This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

        1. 2

          my pleasure @StudioCinematic ! talk to you soon

      2. 1

        This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

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