Landing Page Feedback June 23, 2019

Rejected by betalist - please critique #landing-page-feedback

Studio Cinematic @StudioCinematic

Hi guys,

I just got rejected by betalist a few days ago - I wanted to feature my site there. Since then, I did a few UI changes to the site.

Current landing page: https://phot-awe.com
Previous landing page (when looked at by betalist): https://phot-awe.com/index-old.html

Please send me your feedback/advice. Thanks!

Best,
John

A bit of background:
The landing page used to be even worse that what I had - I usually got 1 out of 6-7 visitors to subscribe - https://phot-awe.com/index-very-old.html
At this time, I get 1 out of 3 visitors to subscribe, so I'm assuming I am doing something right ;)

  1. 5

    It looks pretty amateur to be honest, like something my nephew might produce as a school project. Unsophisticated choice of colours, layout, fonts. The video is eye-catching but doesn't really work as a holistic offering.

    It also doesn't work on mobile.

    I think perhaps you underestimate what it takes to build something that reaches the mark.

    I'd suggest trawling as many design resources (dribble, behance) as you can to take inspiration, even using templates (envato, etc). Check out some CSS frameworks (bootstrap, foundation) and perhaps look for courses online (refactoringui).

    Good luck.

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedback!
      About the mobile - at this time, I don't care about it, since I 99% of the people I get are on desktop.
      I agree that it's not sophisticated, I just wanted something simple and to the point.
      Perhaps I may have missed that - I definitely wanted to hire someone to do it, but I got insane quotes, so I chose to do it myself.
      Will look into redoing it in a few weeks.
      Thanks again!

      1. 3

        You don't need too much, take a look for instance to carrd.co

        https://template59.carrd.co/ ( you can add your video to the background )

        They have $9 USD / year for pro plans where you can use your own domain.

        I second the suggestion to go to dribble https://dribbble.com/search/shots/popular/web-design?q=video , or muzli https://search.muz.li/search/video and see what designers do.

        1. 2

          Thanks! That template59 looks really really groovy! I'll definitely take a look!

        2. 2

          Really liking this carrd.co; I'll use it later. Thanks for sharing.

      2. 3

        What country are you in that 99% of visitors are desktop? In most western countries, you're looking at 70% mobile and in Asia, 80-90%.

        1. 1

          That's how I set up my advertising on twitter

      3. 1

        Hey !

        I have seen worst websites having more traffic and being more appreciated to be honest.

        But if you want some gradients, color palette and font pairing inspiration you can head up to my site colorsandfonts.com

        hope is usefull!

        /Mike

  2. 3

    Hey John,

    Here are some thoughts.

    After looking at your page, it's not clear exactly what you're offering.

    Your headline is very vague. What does creating my awesome story entail? What does it actually mean?

    Your nav gets lost in the background video. The background video feels random. It just says "New York" at the beginning but it doesn't indicate in any other way what makes it "awesome".

    In the left green box, you leave a lot of work for your customer to do. The customer has to figure out what your offering is all about. If you leave it to the customer to figure out, chances are pretty good they won't care to.

    Not sure what your Twitter ads are like, but if you're getting 1 out 3 people to subscribe, they must be describing the offering better than the landing page.

    Right now your copy suffers from the "it's for everybody" problem. When you make it so vague, it's hard for people to connect.

    Who do you want your audience to be? Why did you create this? Go back to those questions and then start writing your copy.

    Even if you made this just for people to make fun videos, go back to that. Why do people want to make fun videos? There's typically a core reason that people even want to make fun videos. Even if it's just to show off. Tap into that reason. Figure out the emotional need behind making a fun video.

    Once you figure out that emotional connection, strengthen it with your copy. Don't genericize the user with stuff like this "[insert_experience_here]". It seems clever but it also says "I don't know enough about my customer to build something just for them".

    Even huge products like Photoshop, which can be used for any number of things, has copy that includes the customer and speaks to their specific needs.

    https://www.adobe.com/products/photoshop.html

    Aside from that, as others have said, there are things that make it feel amateurish.

    The two green boxes cover up part of the video, which is what your product is all about.
    There is inconsistent capitalization. Why are "You" and "Your" always capitalized?
    Why do I have to "subscribe" to receive a download link? Your CTA would be better labeled with "Send me the download link".

    Do you have an example of an ad that leads into this page?

    1. 1

      Hi Davey,
      Thanks for the detailed feedback!

      You're right about the headline - will change it back to "Create Awesome Videos". Maybe "Create Awesome Short Videos"? (since my target is videos of 1-3 minutes in length)

      The "nav" gets lost -> you're right - basically my idea was to get the customer to subscribe as fast as possible. I did not want to add yet another overlay just to be able to see the nav.

      About leaving a lot of work for the customer to do - you're probably right. The customer comes from twitter, where he'll already see a "Create Awesome Videos like this one" link, so I assumed that was enough.

      The twitter ads are really simple - they are simple tweets with videos created using our app, with a message ending with "Create Awesome Videos like this one" link.

      Right now your copy suffers from the "it's for everybody" problem => got it, will have to rethink the messaging.

      Even if you made this just for people to make fun videos, go back to that => got it, that makes a lot of sense

      Aside from that, as others have said, there are things that make it feel amateurish => got it. In my defense, I have tried several "no code" solutions, and they suck big time when it comes to dealing with video.

      Why are "You" and "Your" always capitalized? => I wanted to place the focus on the user. Probably a bad idea.

      Your CTA would be better labeled with "Send me the download link" => Indeed.

      Do you have an example of an ad that leads into this page? => https://twitter.com/photawe/status/1129153422027042816

  3. 2

    I liked the concept

    However there were somethings that I felt could improve your business .

    1.Get RID of the RED text, to many people red signifies danger = STOP

    1. In your product description , you use the word WANNA...this is sooo wrong on many levels

    Your job is to lead the potential user/customer down a decision making path that leads to
    an irresistible moment of desire that ONLY your product can provide …..this moment makes them say...I NEED this...and I am willing to pay for it

    1. Don't tell the user/customer what they WANNA do..they already know they want to
      FLY HIGH....Tell them how using your product gives them the unique capabilities to do so...

    For instance

    " Learn how to quickly create and share amazing HD videos of....

    " We will show you how to increase sales of your products with our....

    " Create and preserve your important family occasions for future generations to cherish "

    which leads to point # 4

    1. THE SPECIAL SAUCE =

    The most I got from your product description was " create videos " ..cat vids..trip vids ..etc

    I don't know what it is..is it an app.....? video editor...…? a new concept ?...all I know it has something vaguely to do with video...WHERE IS THE SPECIAL SAUCE ?

    1. Why should I buy this thing...will it give me all my dreams and more... the Iron Throne
      and the 7 kingdoms ?...How does it empower me to reach my goals and fulfill my dreams ?

    6 . You want me to DOWLOAD a link ?

    Don't you know users/customers hate that ??!!

    I don't want to download it...I want to see it 1st....

    How do I know I wont get a virus..spam..malware..ransomware ? or a thousand other problems that come with downloading something I have never even seen ?

    Even with brand name companies Adobe , Microsoft etc...before I download anything...I check to see if my bank cards and CashApp are locked off 1st .

    1. What's the price...1 time fee or subscription ?

    @LikelyLogic is right...go back...check design resources

    I would say...start with Https://design.google/library

    1. 1

      Hi Supervillain,

      Many many thanks for the detailed feedback!

      1. Will do - it was supposed to be pink :)
          1. Thanks for this! I will come up with better text - I need to think about this for a bit - will reply again when done.
      2. It'a Windows 10 app, a very easy video editor - got it, need to explain this.
      3. It will empower you to create amazing videos with just a few clicks. I need to figure out how to say it.
      4. Yes, there's a download link. Once again, I need to specify - it's FREE while in BETA. About "how do i know it's not a virus...etc" - i guess you can clearly check that with an antivirus. The setup kit is signed. Or do you mean something else?
      5. It's free while in BETA. Once we go out of BETA, I will have 3 types of subscriptions. I am thinking about pricing, but probably I will come out with the price a few months from now. I expect the BETA to last another 6-9 months.
      6. Will definitely take a look at design.google/library

      Thanks again!

      Best,
      John

  4. 1

    Changing the text colour to black would go a long way in making it look better. You can still have colour in logo/background etc

    1. 1

      Thanks! Probably this will be the first step towards a complete redesign :)

  5. 1

    I won't pretend I'm any good at visual design but:
    -your newer page was even more amateurish than the old one, as far as I can see. The big font with a thick border is awful, worse than the previous redish text.
    -completely misaligned on my phone with Firefox.
    -the header is the best part of your page.
    -the biggest issue is that you propose a solution for creating outstanding photo/ videos and your site is even called phot-AWE, ...I think it makes it a prerequisite that your own design is flawless and outstanding, no? I mean, I do very ordinary design myself (I suck) but then, I'm not selling 'design' and good looks, so I have more leeway.
    -good luck with it! It's a really good sign if you get so many subscriptions as it stands. Somehow this idea must have something that attracts people to it.

    1. 1

      Thanks for the feedback.
      As I said in another comment, at this time I did not care about mobile, since my advertising is on desktop.

      You're totally right that it's a prerequisite to have the design outstanding. @OscarRyz suggested carrd.co and I'll definitely take a look - I hope to have some new design at some point tomorrow (assuming I'll have time to do it :))

  6. 1

    Simple and clean is always better than average and unfinished. I suggest taking a day to go over "Bootstrap" framework. Literally copy/paste their example code and dump your work inside that container. Your code will (hopefully) be instantly wrapped in a basic media-query that allows the user to view your site on any device. Bootstrap (as with many other frameworks) is built so you don't have to learn/worry about the "how" for viewing the site... I highly encourage it especially with offering a "service" . I would think that potential users could see a landing page with "little effort" giving un-wanted assumptions reflecting the care put into whatever is being offered. Hope this helps and good luck!

    1. 1

      I'm asuming you're talking about this - https://getbootstrap.com/docs/3.4/javascript/
      Will certainly take a look.
      Thanks!

  7. 1

    some simple and fast changes will be changing font and colors etc.
    I am very new to startups and product building but I think I can help you to retouch this page, if you want !

    1. 1

      I'll definitely welcome your help. Please drop an email to awe @ phot-awe.com, and we'll take it from there. Thanks!

  8. 1

    "I get 1 out of 3 visitors to subscribe, so I'm assuming I am doing something right ;)" depends on where you get your visitors from, if it is friends etc then that isn't great. If it is cold traffic then it is.

    I would just go with a standard SaaS landing page.

    1. 1

      Thanks for the suggestion!
      The traffic comes from twitter - where I do advertising. I've had this for about 1.5 months, and the stats say 1 out of 3 people subscribes.
      Will also look into standard SaaS landing pages, and do some A/B testing.