Spending time with your partner while balancing business & babies.

"After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," - by Bill & Melinda Gates.

I was totally shaken by this announcement.

Couple of months back I watched the Netflix documentary Inside Bill’s brain and thought to myself ’Wow, two incredible humans, doing incredible work. What a great team they make- nurturing business, marriage, kids, society…’ Clearly, you never knows what happens behind closed doors.

I was 💔 to hear this news. I am a hopeless romantic. When I come across couples who seem to work so well together, I expect it to last forever. I want to continue to hear stories of the incredible things they can do, experience and create together. It’s juvenile. I blame all the romcoms I watched growing up that has conditioned me to believe in happily ever afters 🙈

Adam Elmore put out a question on twitter to married folks with young kiddos.
Married folks with young kiddos in the house: how do you carve out alone time with your spouse?"Couples (including me) shared their struggles & how they deal with it. Was so helpful to hear from other parentpreneurs in the same boat.


This made me reflect on the fragility of marriage. It made me feel uneasy. To calm my anxiety I usually research on things that worry me (it’s going down a rabbit hole, but that’s my coping mechanism). Then I come up with a mental model that helps me manage my uneasiness/anxiety.

I looked at some behavioural science, listened to Dr. John Gottman, spoke to other parentpreneurs I know and put together this visual. 5 areas how you can spend quality time with your partner while juggling business/work, kids, family, and social life.


  1. Physical : Make your partner feel desired not just needed
    Simple gestures like
  • Weekend honeymoons
  • Compliments
  • Footsy under the dinner table
  • Spontaneous winks, kisses and holding hands while getting on with your day
  • Fun workouts together
  1. Emotional : Being emotionally available by
  • Reminding how brave they are (especially if your partner just delivered a baby)
  • Heart to heart hugs
  • Venting together (can be so therapeutic)
  • Taking responsibility for your emotions
  • Explore your individual & collective values
  1. Intellectual : Have a growth mindset
    Some ways are
  • A book club for two
  • Discuss a podcast
  • Do a course together
  • Learn a new language together
  • Play a board game
  1. Social : Fun times together while with others
  • Double dates
  • Volunteer together
  • Have a salsa night out with friends
  • Host dinners, potlucks, game nights
  • Being creative together when organising family events eg birthdays, halloween etc
  • Engaging with a community
  1. Spiritual: Stay grounded together
  • Find what spiritually connects you two
  • Create a ritual together
  • Expressing gratitude together
  • Being curious about the other’s spiritual beliefs, faith (especially mixed couples)

Any other suggestions?

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