3
0 Comments

Spending time with your partner while balancing business & babies.

"After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," - by Bill & Melinda Gates.

I was totally shaken by this announcement.

Couple of months back I watched the Netflix documentary Inside Bill’s brain and thought to myself ’Wow, two incredible humans, doing incredible work. What a great team they make- nurturing business, marriage, kids, society…’ Clearly, you never knows what happens behind closed doors.

I was 💔 to hear this news. I am a hopeless romantic. When I come across couples who seem to work so well together, I expect it to last forever. I want to continue to hear stories of the incredible things they can do, experience and create together. It’s juvenile. I blame all the romcoms I watched growing up that has conditioned me to believe in happily ever afters 🙈

Adam Elmore put out a question on twitter to married folks with young kiddos.
Married folks with young kiddos in the house: how do you carve out alone time with your spouse?"Couples (including me) shared their struggles & how they deal with it. Was so helpful to hear from other parentpreneurs in the same boat.

https://twitter.com/aeduhm/status/1390614487141654528?s=21

This made me reflect on the fragility of marriage. It made me feel uneasy. To calm my anxiety I usually research on things that worry me (it’s going down a rabbit hole, but that’s my coping mechanism). Then I come up with a mental model that helps me manage my uneasiness/anxiety.

I looked at some behavioural science, listened to Dr. John Gottman, spoke to other parentpreneurs I know and put together this visual. 5 areas how you can spend quality time with your partner while juggling business/work, kids, family, and social life.

Imgur

  1. Physical : Make your partner feel desired not just needed
    Simple gestures like
  • Weekend honeymoons
  • Compliments
  • Footsy under the dinner table
  • Spontaneous winks, kisses and holding hands while getting on with your day
  • Fun workouts together
  1. Emotional : Being emotionally available by
  • Reminding how brave they are (especially if your partner just delivered a baby)
  • Heart to heart hugs
  • Venting together (can be so therapeutic)
  • Taking responsibility for your emotions
  • Explore your individual & collective values
  1. Intellectual : Have a growth mindset
    Some ways are
  • A book club for two
  • Discuss a podcast
  • Do a course together
  • Learn a new language together
  • Play a board game
  1. Social : Fun times together while with others
  • Double dates
  • Volunteer together
  • Have a salsa night out with friends
  • Host dinners, potlucks, game nights
  • Being creative together when organising family events eg birthdays, halloween etc
  • Engaging with a community
  1. Spiritual: Stay grounded together
  • Find what spiritually connects you two
  • Create a ritual together
  • Expressing gratitude together
  • Being curious about the other’s spiritual beliefs, faith (especially mixed couples)

Any other suggestions?

Trending on Indie Hackers
Finally, I think I've got a good idea 17 comments How do you read this logo? 17 comments Former Head of Growth at Morning Brew (3m+ subscribers), now running media consultancy. AMA! 10 comments Find SaaS Ideas #0015 7 comments Building a course to help people level up their Software Engineering careers, what do you think? 7 comments 6 Simple steps to validate your business idea 1 comment