Tapping into the IH Hive Mind again: Critique my hero section copy please 🙏



PS... this is early days. This product is in beta (at best) and it is in no way "launched".

  1. 2

    Headline = Your roadmap should be easy to understand.
    Subhead 1 = Easily create beautiful roadmaps so your team and customers know where you're going
    Subhead 2 = Easily create beautiful, simple roadmaps so your team and customers know where you're going
    Subhead 3 = Create clear and simple roadmaps for your team and customers.
    CTA = Build your roadmap today

    In my opinion CTAs don't need to be short, they need to inspire action.

    1. 1

      Love this. I've used your ideas to get started. Thanks!

  2. 2

    From the hero section alone, it's not entirely clear to me what you're actually offering:

    • Do you offer a service that helps me figure out what should be on my roadmap and how to assign deadlines to that? Do you offer an info product or a tool which helps me make those decisions?
    • It's not clear to me that you're actually offering a tool that lets me create and host my roadmaps.
    • Simplicity of the roadmap (not the tool) also greatly depends on the user who is using your tool. If they want to make a messy roadmap or don't know how to make a simple one, your tool cannot stop them.
      • If I understand your UVP properly from reading your previous posts, it's the following:
        1. The tool is simple, i.e. easy to use.
        2. The layout of the resulting roadmap is simple, i.e. visually clean.
    • As for the screenshot, I would consider dropping the laptop frame and only displaying the part where the actual roadmap elements are being displayed. I wouldn't even show the roadmap title, just make the relevant content as big as possible.
  3. 2

    Crystal clear roadmaps in minutes

    I try to stay away from words 'in minutes'. Many headlines promise something - 'just in 5 min', 'in less than 5 min', 'in under 3 minutes', etc. It's very trendy these days.

    It's never the truth. It takes much more time than that.

    1. 1

      Unless it really does, then you can add a video to prove it I guess 👍

  4. 1

    I appreciate it's early days, but the image is adding nothing, because I can't really see what's on it. I would either lightbox it, so I can see it in-depth, or lose the Mac outline in order to show the contents a little bigger.

  5. 1

    Based on this landing page, it seems like you're making roadmaps that are simpler for people to understand than roadmaps made by other tools. I say this because you're describing the roadmaps themselves as simple and you're showing a screenshot of a finished roadmap.

    I'm not familiar with this as a pain-point. I can't remember ever looking at a roadmap and feeling that it was was too complicated.

    Contrast this with how you described your pain in a previous post:

    • "my staff found it cumbersome and overly complicated" - ah, so the pain is felt by the people making the roadmaps?
    • "the problem there is that they are full blown project management suites" - some people making roadmaps don't want the tool to try to do too much
    • "pinning dates on things is absolutely pointless" - some tools encourage useless (or harmful) behavior

    These pain-points resonate much more with me. If your plan is still to address these, I would focus the copy on them.

  6. 1

    I like the headline. I would change up the subhead though. It's too repetitive with what you say in the headline. Use that space to expand on the messaging by tying it to a benefit, offering more detail, providing differentiators or setting up an offer.

    You may want to consider making the CTA a bit more specific and benefit-oriented as well.

  7. 1

    Thanks for sharing Mick!

    Here is what I noticed, and my thoughts:

    1. Duplicate words. You have 'clear' and 'roadmaps' in the heading and subheading.
    2. Drop 'just'. 'Share publicly or with your team'.
    3. I'd consider moving sharing options further down the page - focus on the main thing at the top.

    As a warning, I have basically no experience with roadmaps. Others may have better copy to suggest for the topic. My below heading and subheading numbers go with each other (to avoid word duplication).


    1. "Roadmaps everyone understands"
    2. "Product roadmaps, clarified"
    3. "Simple product roadmaps"
    4. "Clear product roadmaps"

    1/2. "Simple, clear, concise. So your team can get to work."
    3. "Clear and concise. So your team can focus on working."
    4. "Simple and concise. [insert whatever benefit your customers will get by using your service]."

  8. 1

    I've recently built a changelog page which I'm using to host my roadmap (and will potentially spin off into an individual roadmap page - https://www.usebolt.io/changelog), so I understand your messaging.

    That being said, even with an understanding of your messaging, I don't think it's something I'd pay for, unless you have some secret sauce which you might be conveying on the rest of the page.

    Switch out the hero image to a clearer roadmap and that would be super helpful IMO.

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