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8 Comments

What am I doing right and wrong?

Please kick the tires on my landing page and let me know what is working and where I’m failing miserably.

https://servicezealot.com

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    Howdy! Firstly, it's only in the third section that you say what this is. I'd get newsletter into that hero section somehow.

    I guess the different trainers (sneakers) are meant to be eye-catching and thought-provoking?

    With such a heavy dark overlay on section one, I find the bright white in the following section really jarring. It's currently evening here and I have quite low ambitent lighting - that might be a factor for me.

    Is the idea at a stage where you can honestly put a number to "tons" of people? It feels like masking, which if it's just getting going, I can understand.

    Who is it aimed at? That's not clear in the copy that's there at the moment. It's business owners, sure, but you talk about "next level". Is this for feisty startups, or corporate business leaders?

    From this page alone, I have no idea who's behind this, and no way to contact them. Is it one person, or a team of people creating the content. It can be attractive either way, but you can frame the language differently if it's just you, or if it's a team. (I did actually click the previous issues so I know the answer - and I'd put in an "About me" section of the page, setting out your experience and credentials).

    Why Zealot? Was "fanatic" taken?

    I appreciate the above is quite critical, but I think you have something here that could be attractive if you hone the target customer and qualify your experience to them.

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      This is excellent. Thank you so much! Off to revise and answer these questions. I’ve been waiting for this kind of unbiased feedback — friends and family skirt around it much of the time.

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        No problem - happy to review any subsequent updates too, just ping me on here or Twitter :o)

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    Just a small tip: I was browsing your site and wanted to check out the 2 articles you have listed. Clicking on them took me to Substack, which is great, but I'd prefer if the links opened in another tab so that I can remember to sign up for your newsletter after I take my time reading the articles.

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      Great callout, thanks!

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    Hey, I read some of your articles and they're well written. Who is your target audience?
    Wasn't obvious to me initially that the page was a signup for a newsletter.
    Colour palette isn't very attractive. The landing page looks very generic, there's not much personality. From the landing page I couldn't tell what type of person you are.

    Who is The Service Zealot, there's no information about you. Why should people listen to you, what have you achieved ?

    Personally I don't associate positive things with the the word Zealot, I'd hazard to guess a lot of people don't know what the word means.

    I think Scott Galloway's wesbite is a good example of what a signup page should look like.

    1. Explains what the newsletter is about
    2. Who the Author is
    3. Example of past articles
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      Thank you for the candid feedback. Scott Galloway does a great job of enticing and building credibility. I'm taking all this feedback in to completely redo my landing.

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    I think there's too much text given the size of the page.

    Also, I don't like the obviously stock images in the second panel. They are too big, and just obviously stock photos.

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