What's the hardest thing you've ever been through?
What's the hardest thing you've ever been through and how did that experience help you learn to be better at what you do?
So many of the founders I talk to share stories about how they've been through incredibly challenging experiences and learn from those helped fuel their startup growth. I'd love to learn more about how other founders tap into these experiences to grow personally and professionally.
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Caring for a disabled aunt and my old mom alone for months, while locked down at home during the pandemic with no external help. It didn't end entirely well.
I'm not a founder, just a small creator. But the experience taught me that, when deep work isn't an option, I can leverage short free moments here and there to put together some creative work. This way I was able to continue publishing my weekly newsletter without skipping a single issue.
That is such a powerful lesson! Small and steady wins out every single time.
What's your newsletter?
Thanks, my newsletter Practicing Google is a curated weekly roundup of practical resources on Google products and related tech.
Some years ago I had to work retail, on a job that I didn't like, and spend ~80 hours a week. On my "free time" (basically cutting time from sleeping) I was working on a tool to potentially make video games with. It was hard to concentrate, I wasn't sleeping enough, but it was one of those things that I couldn't give up.
It wasn't as fun, but I couldn't help but think that one day this tool would help me earn a living. It's not there yet, but the good news is I have a normal office job now :)
So are you able to work on it more now that you're working a normal office job and maybe (hopefully!) sleeping more?!
How is it coming?
Yes, I'm currently employed as a video game programmer, and my employer is very supportive on me working on it on my free time.
That project ended up becoming part of a language I've made that I'm now developing and using to make video games. The current video game I'm working on is a puzzle game called "The king is gone" and an alpha demo version of it can be found here: https://darkdimension.itch.io/the-king-is-gone
It is one of the most fun projects I've been working on, and possibly the project that convinced me I'm an indie hacker and to join this site :)
This is amazing! It sounds like all the work you did on the side helped set you up to land a pretty-close to a dream job!
What would be your advice to someone in a similar position to where you were when you were working 80 hours a week at a job you hated?
That's a tough question. The way I managed to break the cycle is by signing up on a few sites for finding jobs (like indeed.co.uk) and putting my CV there. While working, every so often I'd take 5 minutes and send my CV to ~10 new companies. I did that for a few weeks until I found the company I work for now.
So I think that would be my suggestion to someone in a similar situation. Keep hacking and improving your skills, while also keep sending CVs.
Really valuable advice.
Now, I am living this life exactly as you wrote.
I hope things get better. Keep hacking, the right opportunity will come when you least expect it.
I went to a friends house and had 1 drink / wrecked on the way home killing 2 quite close to me.
I was already heading nowhere and spent a couple of years in jail but focused and all has been far better since.
This is absolutely devastating.
What would you say is your biggest takeaway from this experience? (Other than don't drink and drive)
I had been playing with programming since I was 8 and that was what I wanted, but from a poor family / dropped out of high school and assumed life was just doing what you needed to do.
After I got out of jail I cared less about failure as I had already done that what would it hurt to just keep pushing (this was early internet era). It took about 9 years but I eventually got a job programming and have done it since (about 18 years)
Hi Kasey,
My story happened before I founded my former company, when I was working 300+hours/month as employee. Result? Burned out
What did it teach me?
To take care of my health.
Knowing that work is only part of my life
I wrote a whole post here
YESSSSSSSS! 6 Months ago I developed severe vertigo (imagine the worst drunk spins you've ever had but 24 hours a day) and it made me realize that I was burned out and miserable running my marketing/demand generation agency.
It was that experience that made me start www.ourgalaxy.co and pivot my entire business to coaching founders on thought leadership, growth strategy, and how to harness the power of what makes them different to build businesses with impact.
This comment was deleted 3 months ago.
That's good to know you're better now! Yes, since then, health is a priority
Ignoring the feeling to switch to another project and not stick to the one I've been doing (and has been showing results).
This has been screwing me all my life...and I think I'm finally getting over it (by working on my existing project for 4+ months already).
Oh that is such a good lesson. I have really struggled with that in the past too, but have gotten much better in recent years.
What helped you learn this?
Well, failing consistently :D
Love it. Best teacher ever.
My life was perfect until I was 32. Good job. Married. No kids. Hopeful and optimistic.
Then life has shown its teeth. My mom was di agnosed of cancer and had only a few months left. I was hopeful at first. It may not be as bad.
She was hospitalized. The doctor would come once a day. She had high fevers for a couple of days. The doctors felt it’s normal. I didn’t ask questions because I’ve always been afraid of “bothering” people. They must know what they’re doing. The fever got worse. I felt unease. I pep talked to myself, “it’s ok to ask questions” and brought a doctor over to check on my mom. The doctor in charge that day immediately arranged an X Ray. And did an operation right after the X Ray, without anesthesia. Her tumor had ruptured and became fluid in her body, submersed her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
After the operation, she was put in ICU. The nurse asked me, “Did you see her color changed?” She could have died that day if I waited longer to “bother” the doctor.
I cried for the first time after I turned 16. My stupid optimism all those years was delusional. I cared only about not feeling rejected and almost costed my mom’s life.
I am never afraid of asking questions anymore. I am never afraid of asking for help anymore. I will never assume things are ok and bad things won’t happen to me anymore.
She got out of the ICU after a few days. But didn’t make it 12 months later. My mom was my biggest supporter and it was hard to watch her die a little every day. It was the first time I experienced desperation. Nothing we could do to save her life. And that forced me to let go of all my unrealistic wishes. She fought till the last minute. She stayed hopeful and cheerful till the last minute after months of horrendous pain.
I decide to go for a run whenever I missed her. I decided to make my life meaningful as I am an extension of her life.
A friend told me I’d become invincible afterward. I am, to terrible things in life. I cope, adjust, and change myself, versus getting stuck in pain wondering why the world isn’t what I wish it to be. Life doesn’t give a shit about my preferences. Keep going.
Oh wow. What a devastating, but moving story. Thank you so much for being willing to share it, the lessons you've learned, and the way you've changed your life as a result.
It sounds like everything you've done and continue to do really honor your mom's memory.
It's a big part. I also realized 60% of my decisions was to make my mom proud. And I was really anxious about taking risks because that'll make her worry.
I am more in control of my own fate now and can take more risks :-)
I'am sorry for your loss. But it seems like you made the best out of it.