Do I keep grinding away, hoping it pays off, or dial back and risk everything we’ve built?

Each week, the Indie Hackers editorial team tackles a reader’s question about the challenges of entrepreneurship. Got a question? Email Dan Marzullo at [email protected].

I’m a 29-year-old founder of a tech startup that’s just starting to take off. We’re in the middle of closing a big funding round, and everything is moving at warp speed. I’m supposed to be thrilled—this is what I’ve been working toward for years. But the truth is, I feel like I’m drowning. My days start at 5 AM with a workout (because, God forbid, I slip on my fitness goals) and end around midnight after back-to-back meetings, calls, and endless emails. I’m constantly tired, my stress levels are through the roof, and my partner has started hinting that we’re becoming strangers.

Here’s the thing: I’ve read all the books, tried all the productivity hacks—Pomodoro, time-blocking, bullet journaling, you name it. None of it sticks. It feels like every time I try to “optimize” my day, I just add more pressure to myself to perform. My co-founder, on the other hand, swears by a different approach: he only works four days a week, takes long lunches, and leaves the office by 4 PM. Yet he seems relaxed, content, and just as productive as I am—if not more. He keeps telling me I’m doing it wrong, that I should try his method, but to me, it sounds lazy. We’re running a startup, not a country club!

Now, it’s causing tension between us. He thinks I’m a workaholic who’s going to burn out, and I think he’s not taking this seriously enough. And to complicate things further, we’ve started getting feedback from our investors that they prefer his calm demeanor to my “intensity.” I feel like I’m being punished for caring too much, for putting everything into this, and he’s being rewarded for coasting.

I’m torn between feeling like I need to double down on my efforts to prove my worth, or consider that maybe he’s got a point—that I’m working myself into the ground for no reason. Do I keep grinding away with the same intensity, hoping it pays off, or do I dial back and risk everything we’ve built so far?

—Shannon H.

Dan's Advice:

Let’s get one thing straight: working yourself to the brink of exhaustion is not a badge of honor. It’s understandable—you’ve poured your heart and soul into your business, and it feels counterintuitive to think that working less could yield more. But here’s the harsh reality: burnout doesn’t build empires; it destroys them. It sounds like you’re already halfway there.

So, should you keep grinding? Not in the way you are now. Give yourself permission to find a balance that doesn’t feel like a slow death. Dial back the intensity, if only for a few weeks, and see what happens. You might find that less is, indeed, more. If dialing back feels like surrendering, it's not. It's a strategic decision.

So, what’s the way forward? Try these three steps.

Get to the root cause of your erratic work schedule

The reason all of the productivity hacks and tools aren't working is that you're not addressing the root cause of the problem. It's time to dig deeper and ask yourself:

• What are you afraid will happen if you slow down?

• Do you think everything will collapse if you ease up?

• What's behind that fear? Is it even true?

• How can you challenge that belief?

You mentioned slowing down would "risk everything we've built so far." But why does slowing down feel like a risk to you? Ask yourself:

• What evidence supports these thoughts?

• Are these thoughts based on facts or just feelings?

Many of the negative thoughts we experience are not accurate representations of reality. They often result from faulty thinking. How we think—positively or negatively—sets the stage for how we feel, influencing our actions. It creates a domino effect.

For instance, if you believe your business will fail, that fear can cause anxiety, pushing you to work long hours and ultimately damaging your personal life and relationships as a consequence.

We often let negative thoughts dictate our actions, but we can train ourselves to reframe these unhelpful beliefs. Start by identifying what thoughts or beliefs make you feel like you have to operate at this intense pace. Then, shift your thinking to be more positive and proactive so you stop sabotaging yourself and your business.

No productivity tool or hack is going to work until you do that.

Set some boundaries around work

Once you’ve identified why you’re working the way you are, it’s time to set some boundaries.

Instead of constantly trying to optimize every moment, recognize that there will always be more work to do. It’s not your job to finish it all immediately—consider the cost of that approach. Set boundaries and see what happens.

Ask yourself: Where do I need more structure or limits in my work life? Then, create those boundaries.

For example, leave the office by 5pm for a week to unwind, disconnect from work, and reconnect with your partner. Or take a full hour for lunch to reset midday.

Start small and gradually add more boundaries. Then, evaluate. What happened after a week? Did everything fall apart? Did investors complain about a lack of progress?

Once you've set your boundaries, get help to ensure you stick to them. It's not enough to say you're going to do this. What system or "fail safe" can you put in place to make sure you follow through? A simple accountability system can make all the difference. 

For example, you could share your boundaries with your co-founder and ask him to help keep you accountable. You might agree that when he leaves the office, you do too.

Establish your priorities and be intentional with your time

Once you've addressed the root cause of your behavior and set clear boundaries, revisit those productivity tools and habits that didn’t quite work for you before. With a fresh perspective, you can use them more effectively to support your goals.

Be intentional about how you spend your time each day. Focus on the big priorities and delegate the rest to stay purposeful with your work.

The bottom line

Your co-founder is onto something. Numerous studies show that our brains are not wired to maintain intense focus for extended periods. Overworking can actually reduce creativity, decision-making abilities, and overall productivity.

Meanwhile, taking breaks, working fewer hours, and giving your mind time to recharge can lead to sharper focus and higher-quality work.

As for your investors preferring your co-founder’s calm demeanor—take note. They’re not investing in robots. They’re investing in people who can weather the ups and downs with composure. They need to trust that you’ll make level-headed decisions when things get tough, not panic and burn out.

I’m not suggesting you suddenly adopt a four-day workweek or take up golf, but experimenting with your routine could make a huge difference. Try setting rigid boundaries on your work hours.

Implement non-negotiable breaks and priorities outside of work. Allow yourself the occasional early finish. The key here is sustainability. You’re in this for the long haul, it’s not a sprint.