So last year I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder.
So last year I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I didn't think much of it. I mean, sure, once in a while my chest hurt and I had trouble breathing, but we all have bad days, right?
Anyways, it got a lot worse. Like, really bad. For the past six weeks or so, I've had a panic attack almost every day.
If you've never had or never seen a panic attack, that is awesome. I'm really jealous.
But if you have, you know how scary that shit can be. Your senses are on overdrive, you can't breathe, it feels like your body's trying to kill you. You know, fun stuff!
I tried to shield my work and the people I love from all my drama, and that kinda worked, but not really. It's made it really, really hard to operate, let alone be productive. I've tried (am trying) a bunch of different ways to manage it, and I think I'm finally on a good path.
PS. If I've been kinda distant with you lately, it's not personal, I'm just tryna get my shit together. Be patient with me ❤️
I was diagnosed a couple years ago. The difficulty concentrating on work, the invasive thoughts, the reclusive behaviour to avoid triggers — I've been fighting to beat all of that. Sometimes I think I find out how to manage it, and it feels like it's gone away. Then it will rear it's head and remind me that I have to keep trying to keep it under control.
Just know you're not alone in this struggle, we can get better.
I feel you.
I've experienced some of that in the past. Just know that you have a community around you. Even if it's for other super technical things, I guarantee there is a subset there that will step up and help you out if you need it. As panic inducing as it can be, I'd encourage you to share the load. It's surprising how empowering it can be (for both you and those who step up) to just let someone help. Business types might call it delegation, but sometimes it really is just asking for someone to take a corner of that big ass box of stuff called "your life" for a while.
Take care, we're all on your side ❤️