A few thoughts on my experience searching for a technical cofounder over the past few years

It's not a “how to”, not a prescription. Just observations. I’ve talked to 100+ engineers; with 3 we shook hands and built stuff together, some with a success, some not.

1. Most people who want to build a startup are simply not ready for it. Not mentally, not psychologically. That’s neither good nor bad. We’re wired for different modes of functioning. Statistically, only 3–5% of the population can tolerate acting as entrepreneurs.

2. It seems to me that many folks want things that are orthogonal to what a startup really looks like early on. They want clarity, defined tasks, proven markets, and a straight road to money. Those things don’t exist at the early stage. That’s the way.

3. A startup means consistently jumping above your own head. Not a heroic one-off, but a repeated exercise – in commitment, speed, autonomy, responsibility, delivering real outcomes. Meeting all of that in one human being is almost like encountering a talking dog in a tuxedo sitting in the next seat at the opera – possible, but rare. Hence why truly successful startups are rare.

4. A majority of people I spoke with were smart and talented engineers. But in a 2-3 person team, just “doing the engineering” without real interest in product, user problems, and business may work, but won’t create anything exceptional. Founders who don’t care whether their partner has interest in the product are probably looking for inexpensive hands.

5. Many are captivated by well-known success stories, especially the fast ones. That fascination is natural – it even drives interest in startups. A bit more research would save a lot of them time and prevent meetings with random founders who don’t have answers to every question – because why? Exactly – startups are extreme uncertainty.

6. I met people who talked to dozens of founders and didn’t find a single “suitable” project, spending months in the process. It’s not about unrealistic expectations. It’s about a worldview so rigid that another person cannot realistically fit into it.

7. Lack of experience is fine. Everyone lacked experience the first time. But I think one great exercise is to ask: why do I want to do this, what’s the inner demand? Will I have fun doing it? What am I willing to sacrifice to get there? Startups run on extremely strong motivation (that might even look stupid to some) and long-term commitment. Skills matter, although they don’t determine success on their own.

There are many roads to Rome. And there are other beautiful cities too.