A lot of stress and anxiety

Don't forget that you are running a marathon, not a sprint. So you are in a good position for this:

• you're financially save with your job
• you can mentally relax and take some days of from your side hustles if you get to stressed, or your family requires it.

As a marathon takes a while, please enjoy the process! Being stressed does not help you at all, quite the opposite.

Same here. I'm 22 and I'm in the very beginning of the journey. Working hard and spending most of my time and energy for building something valuable is not problem. But sometimes I feel like I'm doing all this stuff for nothing. I know that the key is consistency and should be patient. But it is really stressful and takes decent amount of time.
Most of the time I feel lonely. That's why I read people's posts on Twitter, IndieHackers etc. We feel bad when we look at people who accomplished. But we should be aware of there are more like us. And I think that's what makes what we are trying to do invaluable. It is not easy and there is no shortcut, unfortunately.
Hope is what makes me keep working. There is a saying in my language (Turkish), "Hope is the poor man's bread".
I'm not enough qualified for giving you advice. I just wanted you to know you are not alone on this path. I wish you good luck on your path and don't lose your hope.
Best❤️

I'm 26, but I totally how you feel. I always ask myself why I feel anxious every day, and the answer is same as yours. I've seen too many success stories, like a university student earning millions a year. But there's a trap called survivorship bias. Being successful is worth celebrating, but truth failure is just part of life. So let's back to reality, which you have to face. If you don't have enough money saved up for living expenses, don't quit your job temporarily until you have a stable income from your side project. Here's one more thing: you can't code and expect to get customers. The most important thing is marketing. Read some books on how to spread the word.

I have been in this situation and somehow still are. With a family and 2 small kids, extensive experience in AI and software coding, I was dreaming to start my own project and business. I finally realised that there are no "ideal time" time at all and always a reason of why it is not the right time. This year, I quitted my job in march and pursued my dream goal of building my company. It's hard and especially when the money is low and almost over. But I realised that it is pushing me way more than having a constant revenue and working for a company. Many things help: meditation, early wake up, running/swimming in the morning, business coaching, networking with business people who have reached their goals. Are a tech guy this was particularly hard for me and constantly going out of my comfort zone. The life is too short to not start living it right now.

Entrepreneurship is all about mindset. Even though stress is constantly trying to cloud our thoughts, maintaining clarity and mindfulness should be as routine as brushing our teeth. In my opinion, practices like meditation, sports, and walks in nature are essential. After all, you cant make good decisions if your mindset isn't in the right place.

I notice a lot exactly in the indie hacking community, people here are too emotional, "I feel stressed, I'm probably burnt out, I can't handle it"

Bro, it's a business like any other, overcome it, try, be anti-fragile, no one cares, work harder.

I'm currently a software engineer also building a tech business for 5k MRR, but I'm from an ecommerce dropshipping environment where people lose 100k in a moment because paypal freezes them for 6 months.

Indie hackers have the best jobs (tech), work from home, you finish in the afternoon, hit the gym, and u can work until night, do you have too many distractions at home? Coworking, rent a small office, be resourceful.

You don't have to tell your wife that you love her every night, show her that with results in the form of MRR and take care of her so she doesn't have to go to work ever.

I know these are not soft words, but they won't help either way.

Personally I understand you well, I work full time too and have multiple ideas in mind.
How do I overcome the anxiety - I'm creating a detailed mind map for the idea I would like to implement. Small, detailed steps on what should be done.
Completing every single small task - makes me feel better and closer to what do I want to achieve.
My stress point was that I would not spend enough time with my family while working on a side project. After splitting the execution in multiple small steps - I might spend 1 max 2 hours on a task and have plenty of time with my family, plus the feeling that I accomplished something today.
Good luck!

Hey,

I'm going to play devils advocate here - being an entrepreneur is not for everyone.

Why do you want to be an entrepreneur?

Lots of people say freedom but honestly you've got more freedom as an employee 99.9% of the time. Your boss becomes yourself - and you never get a break from yourself.

And, for most people, they'll make more money as an employee than they ever would as an entrepreneur.

And, if you think you're stressed now, that stress is only going to be 10X higher when you quit your job and are relying on getting customers to pay your bills.

Are you sure you really want to do this?

My heart goes to you Dubbeltje ❤️

I can completely emphasize with your feelings. Sometimes building a project feels like overeating your favorite food. You start with "hmmm... this sounds good" and then end up feeling like "I've had too much, please no more".

If I may offer few suggestions.

Firstly, if you get to the point where you work on your project endlessly and it drains you out, you should step away for a while and take a breather. As a developer, I'm sure you know that you can't problem-solve at your best under stress or with high levels of anxiety.

Then, build the business step-by-step. Figuring out all the components - ie. client acquisition, product, operations, finance, etc. - and putting them together in a way that works takes time. (P.S. Your site looks great so you've got engineering and design figured out. Perhaps the more critical areas are problem-market fit and customer acquisition. Just a guess)

Also, at least in my view, being an entrepreneur is a life-long journey. So, if compare yourself too much with others and rush, you run the risk of robbing yourself of the amazing opportunity to turn this experience into a joyful voyage toward freedom, happiness and growth.

Each journey is unique, each day as you continue to learn and grow, you are taking a step forward and putting a new tool in your pocket.

So, give things time. Give yourself room to breathe and do your best thinking. And, most importantly, take good care of yourself.

Warmly
Pierre

My advice is to do things outside working on your side project and learning. Instead of reading a book tomorrow, go for a walk. Go for a run, meditate, draw, paint - do something that is completely a break or not related to the ambition of becoming your own boss. And once you find something that you like, stick to it and keep doing it often.

It sounds like we're in a different situation but have the same issue. I'm 24 and want to be able to provide for the family in planning on having soon.

IMHO I stopped listening to those podcasts. Hearing about an 8 year old that just sold his company for 11 billion isn't exciting anymore it contributes to my stress. It's also just info overload.

I found I was stressing about my side project at the day job, losing focus on the day job, and when I did find time to work on the side gig, I was exhausted from stressing over it.

Create space, relax, execute well with what's on your plate at the moment. I'm by no means the expert but that helps me

Stay focused, set achievable goals, find a work-life balance, seek mentorship, and be patient with your progress. Remember, success takes time and persistence.

when I think that absolutely everything we do in our lives and everything we say in this forum will be forgotten in the eternity, my stress goes away. My philosophy is to enjoy the journey and be happy with the small satisfactions that life gives you.

The pillow is always a good counselor. If you go to bed thinking you should give it a try, do it (always discuss it with your partner, she also gives good advice and another perspective).

Hello Dub,

🫂🫂🫂
This is what I can offer for now⬇️

Please don't let the successes of others make you feel less than you are or make you more anxious. I believe you can and you have to as well.

I feel you, mate. I had an incredible amount of stress in the last 2 weeks while growing my business as I was full-time on it

But at some point, I realized that it wasn't helping me in any good way. So for a brief moment, I put it on autopilot while tinkering with other projects but surprisingly I got a lot of sales due to word of mouth

The thing with business is that you'd never know how close or how far away you're from your goals. But one thing which could help you is to try to think of your ideal customer persona and do some marketing by directly reaching out to them

Hi Dubbeltje,

Just going by the words you have written, maybe I am projecting as it comes across like you are chasing a different lifestyle. In the first paragraphs you list your past lifestyle and mostly the things you would like to drop from that lifestyle.

I (and probably a some others here) can empathise with that feeling. In the phase of life you are in: 40s, having a family to support, having responsibilities, feeling settled, life is not so much (any more) about advancing a (corporate) career, more about gaining freedom, autonomy, balance and fulfilment. How do you want your next 20-30 years to look like?

Wish I had an answer and solution for you, unfortunately I don't. Have been questioning this for a long time as well.

Having followed a couple of entrepreneurs on social media last years. They seem to be marketing the lifestyle heavily as well. Seeing foto's from exotic locations, emphasising on the freedom it brings, it all looks great. As I look at it, it is a "result of...". Not so much a goal to start with. It starts with having a insatiable drive to solve problems and a passion to understand the customer.

Do you have people around you to talk about your ambitions, your anxieties and the stress that you are feeling?

I'm not in any place to give you advice or guidance, but I can give options. For me, being a risk averse person, I started breaking the problem down by eliminating elements. The firsts step was to go Freelance. A big step and although it hasn't solved the entirety and the overall feeling. It did bring me some freedom, feeling more in control, understanding how to operate a commercial entity and doing marketing and acquisition. It gave me insights and learnings and build up confidence.
...I am still doing the thing I do not enjoy so much anymore as I did before, that is still work in progress. Taking small steps.

Hope this helps in some small way.

I wish you all the best on your journey and always feel free to connect.

Don't let your 9-5 stress you out. It's the thing enabling you to take a chance with your own business. Be thankful for it. You can stress out about quitting later, when the time comes.

Don't consume too many stories about what other people are doing, it leads to indecisiveness. Consume just enough to hear confirmation that what you're already thinking about doing might actually work, then just go. The rest is just noise.

The ideas you think will do the best might do the worst. The ones you might feel stupid for wasting time on might do the best. Again, thank your 9-5 for affording you the ability to try these ideas out.

As for anxiety: Make a list of unresolved issues or questions you're dealing with. Get them all written down. (examples: When should I quit my job? Which business idea should I go with? Am I a failure for not having a successful business of my own?). You might have two items, or you might have 100.

Ask yourself if each topic you're worrying about is useful. For example, the question "Am I a failure?" isn't useful. If it's not useful, let it go. You don't have energy to waste on things that aren't useful.

With the remaining items, ask if they're actionable now, or dependent on other things. Sometimes, anxiety is prompted by multiple interdependent unresolved decisions. For example, "when should I quit my job" is dependent on other things, like how much money your side projects are making. If it's dependent on other things, let that go too. You'll likely have more clarity later, if the issue doesn't just resolve itself.

With the remaining items, just make decisions, right or wrong. Knock them out. No matter how hard you think about whatever decision, your second try at it will probably be better, so you might as well get the first one done and get that feedback loop complete.

On other note, force yourself to spend some time turning off the decision-making part of your brain, even if it's only for a few seconds at a time. Appreciate something the way it is, without thinking about how it could be better. We're creators, so we get into the habit of always thinking about improving things. Appreciating the way a puddle reflects things upside down... or the way a bike's tires roll over the ground, or even the way your favorite keyboard feels... anything. If you don't get anything out of that, look into some ~15 minute coached meditation sessions first.

I was watching a show on Netflix of the financial guru Ramit Sethi and there was on comment he made which is really really profound ..he says something like "lot of people when the think business are stuck on semantics like brand name and site and what not wherein the core is to find first three customers" so may be all you need is a landing page for your SaaS idea and validate if people will pay for it and build it gradually while increasing customer base. Keep repeating until you stumble on to your $millon idea

You have 20 years of experience. I really think you should leverage that to either build something thats other common man cannot do ( take high skill to built ) or use your reputation to your advantage .

For example starting a coding academy. As lame as it sound it bring in money. And the demand is always there. You can contact you friends or family let them know if there are interested to let you teach their sons and daughter coding. Or you can try build reputation on twitter or social media ( harder and takes time ).

Remember you want to make money now, not want to pick what you want and don't want to do.

Essentially my suggestion is you HAVE to play with your 20 years of experience. That something that other people cannot compete with you and you have experience on.

Failure is completely normal and happen to others to but why should anybody want to show off their failure instead of focusing on fixing it. That's why you never see failure post, winner already finish the game and taking a break by showing off, but If you are failing you are focusing on getting things right so no time to show off.

Also failure happen because lack of knowledge and experience. Check this article out : Failure is Success.

Like it or not you lack of knowledge in business and entrepreneurship that why you fail.

That's why building something on top of you existing knowledge will help you reduce the failure.

Here in case you want to read more about how and why playing with strength is essential in business: Are You Playing to Your Strengths In Business?

Thanks for sharing, Dubbeltje. Appreciate the vulnerability.

First of all, it sounds like you have the skills to build, and motivation. Those are two of the hardest ingredients to acquire.

What kind of research do you do before you start a project? That might be where you could spend more time: figuring out if there's a big enough problem that people will pay for.

@sandersjj - Thank you for being open and vulnerable. It is helpful to all of us to know that we are not alone in feeling stress and anxiety. I have also felt like a rudderless boat so you are not alone. I have been in tech for 25-ish years working for various companies, and while I felt stifled and constrained by the structure, I immediately felt lost when I had to create the structure myself. This is normal. You are experiencing normal sensations. Your job is to manage those sensations by creating clarity in your life. I often prefer "focusing questions" rather than giving advice, because advice is brittle and unscalable. Questions can grow with you. Your answers will change as you re-ask a focusing question to create clarity for yourself. Here is something to ask yourself:

"What would have to be true in order for me to feel confident clarity that I am building something of value for others while simultaneously remaining enthusiastic about the process?"

You've got this.

Hey Dubbeltje,

First off, hats off to your determination and spirit! Juggling a job, family, and side projects isn't easy. I resonate with your journey and understand the pressure of seeing others' success stories.

I'm working on an AI-driven mental health tech app (calmmind.ai), aiming to provide tools and resources to manage such stress and anxiety. It might be beneficial once released.

Remember, every success story started with its own set of challenges. You've got the skills and passion; just keep iterating and learning. Happy to chat more if you need.

To some extent I've been in a similar situation before, and one of the ways I'm now attacking this is to break things down into a multi-stage approach when building product - to specifically not end up in the "work on them endlessly and it drains me out".

First, it is a marathon (I know, cliché.. but you need to preserve your energy). So make sure a project doesn't drain you, but actually gives you something even if it in the end doesn't turn out to be the "exit plan maker".

Second, try to balance your commitment with the traction you see. So you don't invest too much into something not going somewhere.

Funnily enough, I tried to put this down in writing here on Indiehackers, this very morning, before even seeing your post. I used the title How to win even when (your project is) failing which I felt was appropriate.

The anxiety you are feeling is perfectly normal. You know your value but you haven't had the chance to show it yet.

The good news is that you are on your way to figuring it out.

Second thing is act like your side hustle is your only job. This means giving it your full attention and working on it every day.

Set aside specific times each day to work on it and stick to those times. If you don't go to your office for one day, your salary will be recalculated, right? Act like your side hustle is the same way.

Just do what you like to do.

I completely understand the stress and anxiety you're experiencing as you navigate the journey of starting your own company. It's not an easy path, especially when you have a family to support and limited time to commit to side projects. But here's the thing, you're already ahead of the game because you have several side projects under your belt and have generated some side income. That's a great achievement!

It's important to remember that building a consistent side income takes time and dedication. From what I gathered, you've been working on projects endlessly, and that can be draining. It might be helpful to set realistic goals and prioritize your projects based on their potential for generating income. Perhaps consider focusing on the one that has the most promising path to monetization.

Also, don't forget that learning new frameworks and technologies like Statamic is an investment in your skills and can open up new opportunities. So even if it doesn't bring in immediate money, it can lead to future projects and clients.

I noticed that you mentioned feeling overwhelmed when reading about other people's success stories. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and comparing yourself to others can be demotivating. Instead, try to find inspiration and learn from their experiences. You're on your own unique path, and by staying focused and persistent, you'll find your own success.

Don't hesitate to reach out to the supportive community here on platforms like Indiehackers. There are people who have gone through similar struggles and can offer valuable guidance and ideas. Also, consider networking with other entrepreneurs and joining relevant communities or meetups where you can gain insights and connect with potential collaborators.

Lastly, be kind to yourself and give yourself time to rest and recharge. It's essential to maintain a healthy work-life balance, especially when juggling multiple commitments.

Wishing you all the best on your entrepreneurial journey. You've got this!

Hi, I'm a newbie, so I don't have much qualification to give you advice. But I want to say, you are already stronger than most people. Many people, like me, haven't even escaped from work yet, and our ideas are just stuck in our minds！

Entrepreneurship, especially the transition from a steady job to carving out your own path, is never straightforward, and it often comes with its share of challenges.

Kudos to you for the side projects you've been able to complete. Remember, every little step counts. It's easy to feel disheartened when comparing your journey to others', but everyone's path is unique. What we often see online are the highlights and success stories, rarely the behind-the-scenes struggles and numerous failures that led to that success.

As a web application developer, you possess a significant advantage in terms of skillset. You have the capability to bring your ideas to life. With your experience, it's more about refining the direction and setting a focused goal. Perhaps it's worth considering to pick one project that you're truly passionate about and dedicate your extra hours to that. Think quality over quantity.

As for the stress, it's entirely valid, especially with family responsibilities. It might be beneficial to find a mentor or join an accountability group where you can share experiences, get feedback, and work together towards your goals. Taking small, measurable steps can ease the burden of feeling like you need to make a drastic change all at once.

You got this!!

Short advice: Learn to manage stress, when you do, you will be less anxious, less worried, will open your mind to possibilities and opportunities

How: do pomodoro technique, do breathing exercises, take long walks, stay away from computer, practice gratitude, count your blessings, talk to people who dream like you

My experience: I am also 41 yrs old. I was once like you. I also wanted my freedom. I was retrenched in 2009. Luckily, I was hired at PayPal. But I wasn't complacent. I was looking for opportunities so I could have my freedom. I found network marketing and in 2013, I quit my PayPal job to do fulltime in network marketing. It went well and me and my wife were really enjoying our freedom and have never had a job until COVID 2020 when our business was affected. And my wife's visa was not renewed during COVID and it gave us a lot of stress and anxieties. I learned to manage my stress and practiced daily gratitude.
I'm way better now, hopeful, more relax and calmer and more open for new possibilities.
Count your blessings. Since I started counting my blessings, blessings started pouring. We started a maid agency business. I got in a part time job to develop systems and that opened me to other possibilities like building my own startup and currently doing beta testing. It would not be possible if I didn't learn to manage my stress. I hope this helps🙏🏻

I also live in Europe. Wake up at 4:30 and grind. Currently putting 2-3 focused hours everyday for 4 months.
I keep my dopamine rolling by running. Now it is automatic. It helps greatly with stress, you can try something like that.
Never give up :)

Hey,

I am 30 and am quite in your position too. I've been thinking about side incomes and I have a family to feed as well and am a web developer too. Here are some of my thoughts that come to my mind these days:

Making a product is not just build the application, to the contrary, coding is one of the smallest parts of your business. The most important is to sell your application on the market. As a developer we do have abilities to build apps up, but not every developer has the sensitive to people's pain point, marketing, or promotions.

Don't start a business without existing customers. The right order of build a business is always to find the needs of the market first, get your first customers and make your patterns runnable, then you take off your business. While many starters reverse the order and fail rapidly due to lack of profit.

And making profit from small app with decent ideas will give your more free time than running your own "business". Be a founder of a start-up company is way more time consuming than being an employee. I worked in a start-up and I really saw the CEO work like a dog. I don't think that is the life style you actually want.

The last advice is don't quit your job until you are confident that your own project can financially support your life. Every decision has its opportunity cost. Yours is especially high as a developer with decades of experience. So please think twice before you give up want you have already obtained now.

My 2 cents:
Safeway to do this:-> Build a side business in freelancing first since you have a lot of experience, and then leave a job while sustaining a freelancing career, building and marketing a product.
Hardway to do this:-> Exit the job without any revenue to find your SAAS business - find yourself in the Mudd - work hard to make your product successful or get a new job.

Either way, it will be stressful, and you should enjoy it.
"Life is not a destination, its a journey" - Unknown.

If you could build or create anything and it was guaranteed to be successful, what would you create?

I think it's first important to understand why you want to be an entrepreneur and create your own freedom. What would you consider so important that you'd be willing to fight tooth and nail to make it successful? Why would that thing be so important to you?

Sounds like part of the stress is coming from a lack of clarity. I think if you spend some time reflecting on what you really want to do as an entrepreneur that'll help guide you.

To dig deeper...

What accomplishments do you think must occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well-lived—a life of few or no regrets?

Hey I'm in a similar situation, 35 with 3 kids trying to start my own thing. I have a lot of the same anxieties (and panic attacks) and I just remember that it's temporary. I'm working my butt of right now so I don't have to later. So I'd say the anxiety is normal, and for me I don't try to eliminate it. Just work through it for now.

Seeing other ppl succeed is bitter sweet for me too. Like why doesn't mine work.

I have to remember that every single thing we see on social, etc. Is probably not the whole story. I think that we don't see the hard part of other ppls journey. I think, so I started later than some , I'm still going I have I put in the years of work for success.

But it's not too late.

Don't quit your job before your side projects make more than your job does.

I'm now in my 20, don't have a job but have some income streams where I get money to deploy my projects. But it's not enough, I have 2 pending projects which is not yet online bc I'm not making that much now.

So I would say, you need to have the money flow from somewhere to work and publish the project in order to make more, finally quitting that Damn job!

| why can they do it and why can't I???
This is a learning opportunity and not "stressing" opportunity. May be they had audience, or some other means of distribution, may be they were good at seo, may be they were early... there could be n number of reasons why someone is successful.
What you should do is look at what they did to become successful and if that is something that is replicate and can you replicate it? if someone got vc money and you can't than just leave that path.
I can see that you have good design sense(better than me ;-)) and from your youtube videos looks like you are good at developing as well. What i see lacking is your copy, for instance if someone lands on statamic page it is not clear what it does, you have just provided the documentation. Look at your competitors pages i bet they all start with how you can design beautiful websites with them. So fix that.
Don't think of new products, make sure that you crack your distribution channel first before starting new projects. It can take years to get decent income from indiehacking and you should take that route if you are ok with that unpredictability. Otherwise it is fine to have a job. As far as entrepreneurship goes may be you can start with consulting which has immediate payoff rather than products.

Don't put a time on leaving a job until you are certain, maybe just put a time when you are certain you will start something and don't stress if the idea does not come - otherwise you will stress out more.

Any idea you think of has been (and is being) done, so don't fall into the trap of thinking "that's been done so it wont work" there are plenty of examples of this not being true and its how you put a different spin on things that makes it work.

I had a company that went bust about 10 years ago, we were doing quite well then the economic downturn came and it cost me my marriage and mentally I think I was depressed over it all. I looked at people that were in the permanent job I left to start that company and they had good career progression, holidays every year etc etc and thinking about it they had a better lifestyle than I had because I was chasing the dream and didn't see what I actually had. Saying that I wouldn't change it because when it was going well it was the best of times but I am just saying evaluate what you do have.

So be sure this is what you really want because you have to put up with the big down side and there will be more stress but if you decide then go for it 100%.

I handled it by going into contract work (backend software dev) for the last 10 years to build up my finances again and even now I am contracting with another contractor to bring in the money whilst we get our SaaS off the ground (when one is contracting the other works on the software and vice versa) so maybe look down that route with a fellow founder, get some traditional money coming in from freelance then that will give you some more space to work on ideas.

Good luck whatever route you choose.

Good you have to choose freedom for your self to relax

1 - Don't quit your job just yet
2 - Don't stress with others success. It's their stress. :)
3 - Go with your family in a nice vacation

I wish you the best of luck to your project

Pedro

I think you should sick some professional help

Good luck, man. Never give up!