A simple way to build your self-confidence

Your lack of confidence comes from your lack of authenticity.

Let me explain.

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend who is a C-level executive at a microfinance company.

He told me he wanted to feel more confident in himself.

And I told him: self-confidence isn’t exactly rocket science.

It’s something you build. And there’s actually a formula for it.

My name is Viorica. I’ve been an entrepreneur for 6 years and have co-founded 4 tech startups across the UK, US, and Romania.

I work 1-on-1 with entrepreneurs and C-level executives, combining entrepreneurship, ontology, psychology, and self-awareness.

I help them understand how their own thinking, biases, and relationship with themselves show up in the challenges that keep repeating in their businesses, teams, and relationships - and what they can change at the source.

And when it comes to self-confidence, I believe it comes down to two very simple things:

what you think and what you say.

When we meet someone whose thoughts and words are aligned, we usually describe them as authentic.

They’re easy to be around because they say what they actually think.

Self-confidence comes, in part, from developing the discipline to say things as they really are for you.

Because every time you think something but don’t say it - because you don’t want to hurt someone, upset them, or you're afraid of what they might think of you - you shrink yourself a little.

You keep it inside.

Then you keep something else inside.

Until eventually, you explode.

Then you regret hurting someone, so you close yourself off again.

Until the next time.

You can also be at the other extreme: you say a lot, but you don’t really think about what you’re saying.

Self-confidence doesn’t build there either.

Self-confidence grows when what you say is aligned with what you actually think.

I’ve always said that the truth is the easiest thing to carry.

It’s liberating.

Think about what happens when you lie.

You directly affect your ability to trust yourself.

Because you know that what you said isn’t what you actually think.

And then you have to remember what you said, build on top of it, and maintain the story.

That takes energy.

So if you want to apply this to your own life, choose one specific area where you don't feel confident in yourself.

And ask yourself:

What am I thinking that I’m not saying?

Or:

What am I saying that I don’t actually think or believe?

Look for the gap between the two.

Your lack of confidence comes from that lack of authenticity in that are of your life.

And that's where the work is if you want to rebuild your confidence in that area of your life.

This is also what I do in my work. I help people understand themselves better, identify the source of the challenges that keep repeating in their lives, and change them.

I also work 1-on-1, so if self-confidence is something you want to work on, send me an email at viorica@selftalk.space