Am I a failure bc I haven't built a successful business yet?

Hey Sebastian, I've really been there, too.

I spent my whole 20s working and working on the side. Nothing ever took off. After getting married, my wife and I wanted to start a family, but my financial situation wasn't as stable as I wanted it to be. A friend offered to refer me for a position at his tech company. He'd been there for a while before me and so I knew that they really cared about work-life balance and employee wellbeing, and so I went for it. I ended up working for that tech company for about six years. During that time, I got to work relatively few hours and spend a lot of time at home with my infant children.

But man, it was hard to deal with the inner voice that told me that I'd failed as an entrepreneur. I had to listen to it for a long time!

But eventually, I realized that I'd made a good decision. That negative voice quieted down. Time passed. I enjoyed my home life.

And then I returned to entrepreneurship, basing my own business on some of the problems I saw while working as an employee of someone else's company.

It's okay if the progress of your life isn't in a straight line. You can decide to give up entrepreneurship today, but still try again later when you've had some time to calm down and rediscover your desire to be an entrepreneur again.

You're not a failure. Whatever you decide to do is okay. Life is long, and there will be more twists and turns.

I hope that helps!

I suggest you read https://www.indiehackers.com/post/holy-heck-this-is-hard-8ebe864174

You are not alone. Creating a successful business is one of the most challenging thing you can do in your lifetime.

Failure is part of the journey.

Some people get "very very"(emphasis on very) lucky and hit a home-run on their first try and others like 99.99% of people have to try dozens if not hundreds of times before getting something of the ground.

I recall reading a story about the founder of TikTok who failed his previous 9 startups before founding TikTok.

The point is that it is hard for everyone.

But think of it the other way as well. Say you had a successful business, then you would have problems as well:

• deliver features on time
• offer proper customer support
• deal with unruly customers
• loose sleep other the fact that maybe it will all come to an end quickly or that a competitor will suddenly steal all your customers
• impostor syndrome
• fear of losing it all

Once gain , my point there is no "grass is always greener" over the fence here because when you move from being an employee to a business owner, you trade one set of problems for another.

I know its hard to hear but not everyone who starts (or who wants to start a business) is going to make it.

Maybe you will and I wont. maybe you won't and I will. Nobody knows the future.

In the meantime, you should try to enjoy what you are doing and keep building. If you have trouble focusing at the moment, then take a break for a few months and come back to it later when you have more energy and some fresh ideas.

I am like you , trying to start something so please don't think I know what I am talking about. Feel free to disregard this comment.

I know how you feel, and I'm sure there are plenty of others.

Don't give up and try not to compare yourselves to what others are doing/have done (easier said than done I know).

Might be worth taking a break for a while, work on something else, or just avoid doing any projects for a bit, not too long but I usually find just stepping away for a few days and coming back to projects can get the motivation going again.

Good luck

I've had this post open since Friday urmming and arrring over whether I should add my two pennies worth or not.

Sebastien, you're definitely not alone.

I've been building my Fintech startup since 2017 (not my first startup). I've successfully helped and advised other startup Founders through tough decisions and moments, and most have come through the other side successfully. But for me, it's been one thing after another. It's got to the point where if I'm asked about what's happening, especially by those who've followed my journey since the start, I quickly shift the conversation. I feel embarrassed by my inability to get things off the ground. It's a story of one false start after another, taking 2 steps forward only to take 6 backwards shortly after. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting.

It's almost the end of yet another year and I have little to show for it. So yeah, that accusatory voice telling me that I've failed is haunting me but I don't let it overwhelm me.

Like you, I flirt with the idea of going back to the comfort of a job from time to time but no matter how much it pays, I know I'd hate it. Putting 100% of myself into someone else's vision or dream permanently is not for me.

I decided to build a startup knowing the reality of what it means to do so and that the likeliness of success is small. Everyone's startup journey is different whether it be an overnight success after 12 years, success after 9 failures or getting it right from day dot. The stories you read on Techcrunch, Hacker News or on here is only a small part of the story. No one wants to be bombarded with the news of the 90% of startups that fail in their first year. None of us would bother otherwise. The important thing is to keep things in perspective.

If you decide to go back to a high paying tech job, there's no shame in that. You have a lot to bring to that role because of your learnings from trying to build a startup. And if you decide to continue with the startup grind, that's also cool.

Are you working alone as a solo entrepreneur? I had similar anxiety issues but once I had a great co-founder, being a low-status solo entrepreneur was more fun : )

Don't you ever dare to say that again about yourself.

You are a human.

Duuuude. I feel this so much. I hear this so much.

Here's what I do:

1. Exercise - helps me to reset.
2. Track my progress visually - mark on a calendar that I made progress that day. If I just keep marking days, something is going to happen.
3. Talk to friends - your friends' opinions of you are never as harsh as your opinions of you. If you're feeling worked up, talk to someone who cares about you!
4. Gratitude journal - it doesn't make the negativity go away, but I think it's good to practice, anyway.
5. Make sure that my life is as good and as balanced as it can be, even if "The Business" is still missing. At least then I can tell myself that my life is good and sincerely mean it. If my life is sincerely good, then I can let that angry voice chatter, and just let it go.

This is the art of life, really. Not being overwhelmed by overwhelming thoughts is hard and occasionally impossible.

Hang in there, and maybe take a big step back and consider whether your goals actually align with your wellbeing. And if they don't, then change them!

Almost five years ago, I quit my full-time job at a large tech company and started my own business. Freelancing and working on my own projects have been my focus since then. My situation isn't a problem at all. My freelancing has enabled me to live as a nomad and have many adventures and meet many fascinating people.

But... My freelance gigs still pay the bills. My projects haven't taken off. The voice in my head says, "Dude, why haven't you figured this out yet? Maybe you're not nearly as smart as you thought! Maybe you can't do it!" The voice has grown louder.

Then I ignore it. Life is good, I tell myself, and it doesn't matter if I don't succeed as an entrepreneur. I like that the doubt just swells up like a wave...https://essentialshoodie.co/

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Success and failure can look exactly the same, until you make it.

Hey Sebastian,

How many side project you started? I saw somewhere a post from @levelsio that only 4 of his 70 projects made some money. 💁‍♂️ 🤯

I made also couple of projects, some of them were successful, but then I ruined them, some were fail from the start. I will never give up.

Just make, and publish, try to learn as much as you can, and then make again, and publish. Every one can be successful, it's only a matter of time...

Personally, I suggest you to take some time for yourself, exercise, devote yourself to your hobby or do anything that makes you happy. We all need a break sometimes.

The best advice I can give you, surround yourself with positive people. They always find the way out.

So, heads up. ✌️

starting your own business and freelancing is challenging but worth it if you've gained enough experience while working as full-time worker for years.

Feeling the same bro… I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll be reading the comments for ideas of how to get out of it.

We all struggle, and that's part of life.

The question is how much you want it.

Nothing wrong with working in an industry for a bit to find some problems worth solving, then going after that.

In the end, just try to struggle well ;)

Useful post. Start your Business & get a high ROI -> https://bit.ly/3Fp4lbf

Yes. This is a forum for winners, delete your account.

Just kidding, I'm in the same boat as you. Well done on becoming a successful freelancer, that's something to be proud of.

I’m in a similar boat, freelancing and trying to launch stuff on the side which can become my sole focus. So you are definitely not alone but I rest on the facts that:

# ~1 out of 10 startups succeed, meaning I have to start 10 companies before I make it 🙈

# I have a lot of fun and realize the journey is as important as the end game.

# I constantly learn and can usually look back at past failed ventures and say to myself “wow, what was I thinking doing XYZ?”.
If I didn’t feel I was constantly improving, THEN I would probably quit or do something drastically different.

And although it’s a silly quote, I like 50 Cents saying “Get rich or die tryin”, which reminds me that once again, it’s the journey, not the goal, that’s the most important.

Keep on trucking dude, that’s what I’ll do!!

Absolutely not. There's a proverb that nothing in human affairs is stable.

Well, you are not alone on this.

the suggestions of almost everyone here are cool...

Have you tried working with other people on collab projects, I understand most people don't want to share their company but talking to other interesting and motivated people can be priceless. As you get to validate your idea with them first and working with others makes you know how far ahead or backward you are.

Go out more. don't spend all the days of the week in your apartment

Be grateful that your freelance gigs can pay your bills man
I believe it will work out.
Talk to someone about your projects but be smart about it (it helps a lot)

I feel you man.

I left corporate job back in 2015 for family, kids, and health. I've done projects here and there; had a startup; had work freelance; Had a CTO role with 30% equity of $0 value... Career-wise just hasn't moved the way I wanted. That said, I did explore a lot more than when I was in corporate (get to do mobile/web app development instead of bios/device drivers/bsp/kernel and product management/corporate strategy).

I had a weird career to start. Working out of dotcom crash, I started my career in Asia building PC, then embedded systems. Pay was horrible, hours were 16hr days, but I was learning so much (on the things I didn't care about, bios, driver, bsp, kernel). Then worked for a professional engineering consulting service: fixing multimillion dollar issues and built middleware used by hundred of millions of people. Eventually led to me working at Qualcomm where I get to make amazing stuff, influence technology roadmap and architecture (still things I couldn't care about, but I was really good in it). Almost never took vac/sick days and just worked. Then did corporate strategy, while get to see how senior management work, I think it's just not for me. Too much politics and bs.

I did cool stuff doing my own but due to family, I couldn't really execute. Also, just can't see myself commit... Financially, I am ok since I grew up in poverty, I don't really spend much. Making more $ in stocks than at jobs anyways (except this year, the loss is going to be huge LOL).

This year I've been trying to self-actualization. I've been reading a ton. I just started bunch of masterclass, I guess I am the definition of someone who found success earlier in career, in the things i am great at but lacks passion, has that self realization, but cannot execute: which leads to... I guess mid-life crisis.

Side note: applied few jobs just for fun, that I was expert in (I pretty much define and architected E-911 service and how mobile devices handles power management). HR said I wasn't qualified.

I guess life isn't just about career. I moved to Portland and life's great here...

What does success look like to you? Sometimes we don't have success for our goals clearly defined and in that case it's easy to convince ourselves that we're failing.

I think that if you're building cool things and enjoying it that is awesome and you should keep doing it (whether it's on the side or not)!

Check out this guy: https://twitter.com/levelsio?ref=levels.io
He's built 100 projects. Only 5% of his projects ever make money.
Keep trying. Build 20 things and maybe 1 will make some money. Build 100 things like he did and you'll find success.

Hey, I hope you're doing alright. I wrote a piece about this yesterday:
https://www.indiehackers.com/post/measure-input-not-output-71b11c403b

Long story short, check yourself when you are reading other people's stories. It's never fair, just keep showing up and trying your best :)

Absolutely not. There's a proverb that nothing in human affairs is stable. That's why it's good to avoid undue adulation when times are good, or the feeling of failure when times are bad. Things change, and often do quickly.

Success is how others treat you. (Integrity is how you treat others.) It's kind of like happiness. You can loosely control it, but not 100%. If you treat others well, odds are you'll get treated better. But there's no guarantee you'll get paid better. That's why a business model is important, so you aren't volunteering in career-things. Not that volunteering is bad, but it's bad when you help make others rich and they don't help you out financially.

With VCbackME.com, my latest project, I haven't made a dime off of it yet. But I've definitely really helped a few users! It might never pay off financially, but I don't even really care. It's nice helping others, volunteering in a way. So I don't feel like a failure, even though financially, it's past month 1, still $0 in revenue.

There's a lot of ways to define success. Don't ever feel like a failure so long as you treat others fairly no matter how "poor" you think you are. There's a lot of "rich" that don't have such wealth.