Any tips for balancing enjoying the moment with delayed gratification?
I find that a lot of the effort building a better future and striving for personal growth requires delaying gratification.
Saying no to things that are enjoyable but don't serve my larger goal of creating a meaningful and impact life makes sense to me to a certain degree.
For example, choosing to stay in and work on a personal project instead of going out with friends is an easy choice towards a better future. But in my better future I want to have the freedom and flexibility to go out with friends.
Only indulging in enjoyable experiences won't help me grow into the person I want to be, but only slaving away on projects and personal development will mean I won't have anyone to enjoy the fruits of my labor with.
Any ideas or resources to help find a balance between these two extremes?
Throughout my few years on this planet, I have learned the importance of balance. We can also enjoy extremes (in this case, either completely living for a weekend, meeting friends, and partying or working on side projects while leaving our friends behind). At various points in my life, I have tried extremes, and while some are fun, I believe the middle point will provide much-needed balance. Any human being is built on social interactions. The time you devote to your projects may even affect them if you don't see your friends<a href="https://kanyewestmerch.ltd/ ">,</a>
a) sacrifice is easy when the project has some real purpose rather than a casual one.
b) friendship is more valued when you are there for them when they really need you, rather than just attending parties.
c)Try to see that your project itself excites you just for doing it, rather than doing it for future benefit alone.
This is a cool reframe of each idea. It's easy to but a beer with a coworker in the same social bucket as a dinner date with my girlfriend, but those are totally different things. Focusing on just the important and exciting aspects of each priority should help further my focus. Thanks!
I agree with previous posters, you need a balance from the start. And sure, you might need to spend extra time in the beginning of a project, but that time could maybe be taken from watching TV, sleeping in or cooking an advanced meal. I.e. take time from the non-essentials.
I've also experienced that a lot of the time I deceive myself in believing that "this is only for a short period", and then that period becomes years and suddenly a lifestyle.
Personally I have a (albeit short) list of things that are essential to me and prioritise them even in time of starting up a new business.
This is good to keep in mind. A new normal can creep in quickly. I'm at the beginning stages of building my newsletter, but it's becoming more consuming as of the last few weeks. I love being heads down, but I need to force myself to come up for air and enjoy time away from the project a well, before I miss out on other opportunities. Thanks!
I think what I have learned in my few years living on this earth is, you need balance. Extremes are fun as well (in this case either completely living for a weekend, meeting friends, and partying is one extreme while working on your side projects leaving your friends is another extreme). I have tried extremes at various stages of life, and while they are fun depending on what option you have chosen, I believe it's the middle point that gives you much-needed balance. Let's be honest, social interactions form the base of any human being. So just devoting your time to your projects without seeing your friends may even impact your projects.
Hope you are able to find that balance.
Totally agree. Occasional extremes can be great, but the end goal is balance. There should be a healthy balance in the long-term, but in the short term shifting to one extreme or the other is just a season of life that can be adjusted for. Thank you!
Totally agree with you as well. Being at the extreme ends also teaches a lot.
Your side projects or startup won't be at your funeral. I'm totally against the "all in" grind and it's often counter-productive if it hurts your mental health and closes you to new ideas.
With that said, projects and goals can be fulfilling and require focus. I've also found aimless "hanging out", pointless group messaging chats about gossip or current events, to be the "junk food" of socialization.
My thinking is that "less is more". Try to pick a few events that you will really get value from. Text/message less often, but schedule memorable get-togethers more often. Go see a concert together or do a new hike. Be intentional about how you're spending time with friends & family .
This is fantastic advice. I think I struggle with this because of the "emptiness" of many social events.
If I can focus on instigating more "deep" social events with people I care about and avoiding shallow hang outs with acquaintances, I think the balance will feel so much better.
Continuously grinding will lower your efficiency, motivation and inspiration over time, until you burn out.
It is healthy to take breaks and helps you in so many unseen ways.
Think back to your previous years of work, would the company have been severely affected if you missed out on a few days here and there?
I wrote about this in part earlier in the week (not truly relevant so I won't link), but this part is relevant.
"Find people that are captivating with their stories or contagious with their excitement. Listen to their stories and come away energised."
Appreciate these thoughts. Thank you!
You can go out with your friends once/twice a week. Totally cutting yourself out from social life is not a good idea. I say you go out with your friends and make up for the lost time by cutting your sleep time by just a little for next couple of days, or find time by cutting down some other activities. If you think about the next 5 years or so, going out with your friends once in week is not going to affect the quantum of things you will achieve in the next 5 years. I have been running a software development company since 5-6 years and now that I think about those 6 odd years, I could have easily taken 2-3 days break s multiple times, I could have taken a 15 day vacation every year and that would have not changed the outcome of my business. I definitely regret not taking enough time off from work. BTW, you are so lucky to have cool friends you want to hang out with. Spend some fun time them, will be good for your health in the long run.
Thank you for this! I think planning meaningful time with friends will help me balance things out
The core notion that balancing my mind is meaning is more important than happiness. I'd add that – purpose/mission is more important than happiness.
I don't think we humans were created with happiness as the main thing to pursue or to live constantly with.
For me, it's a conscious and liberating approach.
That's a great question to ask @neurofuturo. I agree with where you're coming from and I have always said that fulfillment is superior to happiness.