Anyone else feel like giving up?
Anyone else feel like giving up? I remember being 13 and emailing venture capitalists about an idea I had for an online store. Years ago I had a very bad fall onto a concrete walkway. I ended up getting two brain MRIs and I'm scheduled for another in 3 weeks. I should be happy I'm alive, but I don't feel that way.
I remembered how I loved programming and how I wanted to sell software, but afterwards programming became and still is very hard for me. I have other issues such as a condition called ROP, which means I need to be checked frequently to help keep me from going blind. Last year I ended up in the hospital's psychiatric ward 3 times for depressive and suicidal thoughts.
I've tried really hard to keep going and work on founding a company I was proud of, but at this point I just feel like giving up. I hoped that if I founded a successful company I would be happy, but even if that happens that will only bring me more money and I'll still have the same problems. I wanted to say thank you to this great community. You guys are all very kind and I think that makes this community a special place. I hope you all find the success you are looking for, but most importantly I hope that all of you find happiness.
It's not easy to know how to respond to your message as I don't really know your situation apart from a really shitty thing happened and it's affected your life but your openness touched me and your comment about finding happiness is key. Wanting to build a successful company (I assume you mean big, rich, even famous) is fine but my take is we should try to find a more meaningful reason to start something like changing the world or at least someone's world. To reach happiness and build a successful company we need to be working on something that motivates us every day. Virtually impossible on your own btw and it sounds like you're trying to do this by yourself. It's possibly a case of needing to know your North Star and discovering your Tribe although I would never speak like that because it's too Californian so if anyone ever says I did I will deny it.
You actually have a lot of opportunity here.
You are not the only person facing challenges in the world. But you are one of very few who has the entrepreneurial drive. Use that! There are a couple ways you can turn it to your advantage: (1) You can start pursuing entrepreneurial ideas or activities that play more to your strengths. What do I mean by this? If programming's hard, execute processes manually with pen and paper. Or maybe you work well with animals: Become a dog walker. Sound like a step down? My roommate ten years ago quit her job as a lawyer because she was making too much money walking dogs for rich ladies around Hollywood. If animals aren't your thing maybe it's time to use some off-the-shelf software like WooCommerce to set up your Model Helicopter store. Focus more on content marketing, sourcing the best suppliers, taking the best photographs: whichever of those things are your strengths or can become your strengths. You have unique talents and you don't have to be the best in the world at these things to turn them to your advantage. (2) You can begin pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors that you alone have experience with. Build a forum for people with traumatic brain injuries. Build a blog for people dealing with ROP. Start a youtube channel that discusses entrepreneurism for people struggling with depression. There aren't many people in the world who have these experiences but I'd bet nearly everyone who is struggling with some of these issues would like to hear your perspective. You are uniquely qualified to speak to that audience, understand the issues, understand their concerns, and give them the hope, the encouragement, and the story they so desperately want to hear now.
Good luck.
I just decided to shut down my SaaS company, and I'm currently writing about the 18 months journey.
The way I think about it is that there are so many ups and downs in life, and a lot of it you cannot control. Since you cannot control, then the only thing you can do is focus on what you can control.
I agree with you, being happy is something you can control. Let's be happy first :)! One day you'll get the right opportunity at the right time and looking back, you'd be like: I'm glad I lived through those tough times.
I know you say you're writing a post, but why?
Hey thanks for asking.
Mainly because 1) we had a pretty interesting company structure where I was a hired founder/CEO and not the major shareholder. And I was focused on running the SaaS while our major investor led fundraising. This didn't work out well as you can tell the expectations were a little different. 2) We were in a very tough tough space and we were building a 10% better product, not 10x product. Although we got more paid users, the slim of future success would be slim.
Since you asked, and I'm very focused on writing my story now. What would be something that you would love to find out based on my 2 points above? I'd love to see if I could write more useful content for other first-time founders. Cheers!
"...Hard times make great men. Great men make good times..."
I think that you should think about your difficulties as conditioning that no one else has had the experience of being put through. It makes you understand the world from a perspective that is more unique.
Your comments about money and happiness are exactly right. I think the best way to find happiness is through the relationships you form with other people. You're on the right path by sharing what you're thinking with others.
Also, just because you find programming hard because of your circumstances doesn't mean you can't start/run a software company. Just don't be the only one programming to make it easier on yourself.
When we're teenagers, it's easy to feel on top of the world, wanting to go about and conquer everything out of naivety, mostly. Comparing who you are today to your motivated self of 13 is not really wise, because life happens and setbacks are a part of it.
If only good things happen and all our plans come to pass, then we'd be so full of ourselves, would we not? These setbacks though they seem terrible when we're going through them, can actually turn out to be blessings in disguise in the long term. They make us better people - we become grounded.
I fully agree with what @rab commented. The key to getting out this mental rut/depression that you are in, is to think beyond yourself. Build something with a higher purpose in mind (to be of genuine help to others in some form) and not just selfish motives of making yourself rich or obtaining freedom etc. In my personal experience, a belief in God can work wonders in getting rid of depression and finding that peace & sense of calm back in your life as well.
Hang in there and don't give up hope, things will get better. Wish you the best.
Don't give up. Someone told me the miracle is just round the corner, it was true.
If you could work on something for 2+ years, and have it fail, and still love that you did that, then yes continue. If you think working on something for 2+ years will guarantee its success, then quit.
MASSIVE props to you for having the courage to share your story. Know that you are not alone. Every day I feel like giving up. We all have our own reasons for this. I recently watched an old @\patio11 talk from Microconf, where he said something to the tune of "why would you do this [build a business] when it's not making you/your family happy?". So simple, and something I've been reflecting on a lot recently. I truly hope you find what makes you happy 💜.
Hey, I am sorry to hear that you are in a very hard spot right now. It’s nice to hear the IH community has been helpful in some way. Unlike Forbes and TechCrunch, you can hear about small wins, loses, and struggles - really keeps helpful in keeping prospective. Most people won’t hit $10K in monthly revenue let alone IPO or be the next Uber.
As long as you are learning or enjoying what you are doing, you are being successful. Just show up every day and you are good.
Feel free to connect on here or Twitter, if you ever need a second option on anything.
I'm sorry about your situation man but don't lose hope. Life has ups and downs and if you keep trying eventually something will work. That doesn't mean you need to keep working on the company...by all means take a break and get a fresh perspective. Who knows when you come back to it you'll see things you're missing right now. Or maybe you never will because you'll find something even better.
Life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it as they say.
Don't Lose Hope Bro. :)
Thanks. I appreciate the comment.
Hang in there buddy - times do get tough.
You're a brave person for sharing such intimate thoughts, and based on the comments above, your words resonate with people. People you don't even know. I've spent almost 30 min thinking and typing what I was going to say in response to your post. That's a pretty interesting thing when you think about it...
Something that I thought has very inspiring was Tim Ferriss's podcast interview with Jocko Willink discussing Tim's suicidal thoughts. If you're not familiar with Tim, go check him out, Tools of Titans is my favorite book and includes more of what I'm referring too.
But the point is, he regrets not discussing this aspect of himself sooner because of the potential impact he could have had on people in similar shoes as him. And here you are, lightyears ahead of him in your ability to share your inner thoughts - thoughts that I'm completely sure many other people have had in the tech world as well as this community.
It's really easy to get hung up on the big master plan - coding the next enterprise SaaS startup that gets acquired by Google. But the problem with setting massive, lofty goals is that they take quite a bit of time to achieve, and are too vague. It becomes extremely easy to think that what you're working on is too hard, or takes too much time - leading to you giving up.
What I've learned here is that motivation stems from small wins. And by small, I mean microscopic. I find myself more often than not focusing on massive tasks that challenge me intellectually or stroke my ego - but aren't necessary. Focus on the small tasks that can spur small wins and momentum.
Not sure if you read the post by @Kevcon80 the other day - but man, it was really inspiring. He lays out a fairly simple process of finding channels, offering free and insightful info, and begins to see validation for this idea. I'm not sure how complex of a company you see yourself running, but it looks to be a simple start to what he reports as making 18K in 3 months. And he enjoys it.
There could be someone who read your post and literally felt in the same situation. Someone who is looking for similar answers to happiness, business, mental health, etc. Finding the right channels and reaching out to these individuals to let them know that they're not alone could be the start of something exciting in your life. A real sense of purpose.
I'm not sure how long you've been grinding, but what I would advise (and what I'm trying to do currently) is look at the spaces you enjoy, and see what you can offer. Then, start a conversation, or make a post. I think you'll be surprised at what could happen next.