Anyone up for roasting my landing page?

I read, Runner, Writer, or Twitter Influencer. Did not bothered with the other text. I spent most of my time trying to figure out what usebecomea is. Scrolled all the way to the bottom and read Make your habits stick, become who you wanted. Too lazy to figure out the rest, closed tab.

Hey,
First love this idea - But there should be a picture or at least a sneak peak of what you get (Layout etc) so that we are not just going in blind.

Mixed review...

So the downs:

1. Realistically, as a consumer I'd barely have a understanding of what I was expecting within the first few sentences. I think it would be beneficial if you give us a run-down on your ideal consumers as then we can give you constructive criticism which isn't based on hypothetical.
2. Now taken from the perspective of a potential unidentified consumer, I would have questions such as, Why a group of 5? How would the individuals who are allowed to join be filtered? For example you noted who are inactive, however, what of the individuals which aren't inactive, however, provide no benefit to me?, How would my accountability actually be calculated, others might be telling me to do this or that, but what if i decide not to? is there punishments(plus who has the power to remove me? and if they do who decided that?)
3. You have to tell me what I am to expect without me having to ask what I am to expect. You build unease with me for example when you mention e.g. Why use e.g? you are creating this concept, tell me what I am to expect confidently.
4. Similarly to (3) Tell me why this will benefit me, don't give me "Now imagine you are meeting someone to run with, there's no way you're not going now right?", a example of doing this just off the top of my head would be "Having someone to hold you accountable, even when it's a stormy day, will x times motivate you and compel you to show up"

Now I am not getting paid so that was only my quick off the top observations hahaha.

Now to top it off with the goods:

1. You have a color theme. Just fix the odd mix matched text styles
2. Your idea is possible

Tip of advice: Don't be frightened to share certain details of your idea, if its a good idea it will stick due to hard-work and of course some luck hahahah

I like it.

I agree with some of the other comments that the typography could use a little work. I would also like a little more color, possibly a different background color to differentiate the different sections of the page.

There's also a few places where there's a light gray text on a white background that is a little difficult to read. I'd recommend to run the site through an accessibility checker to find other issues.

To answer some of your questions:

What you think of the value proposition? I think the free tier is a good start and the pro plan is fairly priced.

Whether you feel like you have a good idea of what the product would be providing you? I feel like the content is pretty clear.

What objections you would have to using something like this? I guess my only objections would be signing up and not seeing much activity from other members.

All in all, it's a good first version. Keep on iterating and best of luck with this new project!

What you think of the value proposition

Sounds "too good to be true".

Whether you feel like you have a good idea of what the product would be providing you

Sounds just like a slack group or accountability partner.

What objections you would have to using something like this

It feels like it won't deliver on the promises (help achieve goals), but have the opposite effect (usually talking about your idea/product takes away time from building it).

Whether you think there is sufficient value in a paid plan over the free option

I don't really understand why people join paid communities, so no, I wouldn't pay for it.
Also, there are usually Facebook groups or Discord channels to find such communities, a paid one feels that it won't attract people that can actually "become a", but people who just want to pay their way through learning a new skill.

Messaging is very clear, but fonts can be more familiar and intuitive.

Like the Idea behind this!

While visiting for the first time – I totally skipped the "Become a:" part. And it

I feel that a font system can get some work... There's something wrong with this typeface combo. Also, perhaps the # of styles can be reduced drastically.

2nd section is heavy on content – really heavy. Perhaps you can make it as a carousel or use less content per each column, at least. Try replacing some of it with something visuals to help convey the meaning. By the way, you can find some awesome free illustrations here: https://craftwork.design/downloads/category/illustrations/vector/

Hi!

The overall looks of the website are great for me! I love this way of webdesign.

My main background is in content marketing, so I'll focus on that:

• I'd think through again the visual hierarchy between the "Become a" and the rest of the headline. I didn't notice it at the first glance and was a bit confused what's the website about.

• 95% more likely - says who? Maybe add a popup message when someone moves their cursor over this statistic, explaining briefly where does this number come from

• the section right below the fold is a bit too much info at once. I'd break it apart a bit more to make sure everyone hears what you want to convey.

• keep the purple headlines with the bigger headlines a bit closer, so we're sure that they belong together

• add more bolding to keywords to help me skim through the page without reading each paragraph and get the gist of the overall website's content

• "Make your habits stick, become who you wanted" - Make your habits stick, become whoever you want (?) or sth similar - for me, this headline doesn't "stick" 😁

Hey Michael,

The landing page is certainly interesting and so is the product. However, I find it hard to rely on someone else to push me to achieve something. I'm curious to know how this accountability will be cross-checked?

nice

Hey man, did you use carrd to setup your landing page? lgtm btw

I like the minimalist design approach in one sense, but you could liven it up a touch with patterned background. Nothing over done. My go to for that > https://app.haikei.app/. All the descriptive text is too small for me, but I guess its aimed at a younger crowd with younger eyes.

Hi Michael, I'm on mobile and may repeat what others have said, but I really think it's a good idea so wanted to chip in.

1. As others have mentioned, the headline font is confusing. But I'd focus more on the substance of value proposition. I think it's not bold enough and not precise enough. I'd go one of two ways: a) go after specific audience - ONLY those who went to become Twitter influencers or ONLY become writers and focus on their problems or b) present your way as THE way, i.e. there's no better way to become your best self than with the help of other ambitious people, and they are right here, click of a button away. And for absolute winner, combine the two ways. "The best way to build influence on Twitter, fast". I'd sign up. And hey, you can build multiple LPs for multiple groups, but starting with one as MVP could prove the fastest way to early success.

2. Please don't send people away from your page to Forbes article. You want people clicking, reading, staying, not going away after a paragraph. High chance they won't come back. The stat will become irrelevant the moment some good testimonials come in anyway.

3. I'd make call to action button result oriented. I don't want to "find a group". I want to join people like me and I want to become my best self. That should be the CTA.

4. I think you focus on "how" to early. I read once something I agree with - give people what and why and charge for how. You're going quickly into details of which app to use for communication etc. Your "why" is the "Your new superpower" section which should be waaaay at the top in my opinion.

5. I don't see the value in paid plan. Depends on amount of habits one wants to develop I guess? Would def need to know more about the product. But even mentioning unbranded progress sharing seems like you just needed to add a third thing to the benefit lists so it doesn't look empty, sorry 😁

Anyway, the value proposition and audience focus are crucial, rest will become largely irrelevant if those two would be spot on.

Sorry for rambling, I know from my own experience that there's no better motivation than other great people on the same path as you, so I wish you luck!

Some quick feedback from me: It’s nice overall.. just a lot of text and lots of reading.

Yo, love it! Here are some quick optimizations.

I would make it as obvious as possible on the top of the fold.

I'm guessing the top left is your logo?

I wouldn't have the logo lead into the h1 copy (they are two separate elements).

h1 - Become accountable to your dreams.
h2- Join a small, like-minded group who'll hold you accountable to the habits that will make you 95% more likely to make your ambitions a reality.
CTA <Join our community>

Use the image on the right to display things people can be. Right now it's confusing how they're connected. I'm not sure on how it's done, but if it's weekly video calls I would use a screenshot of the call or something and dress it up a bit so people get an idea of the value add.

Minor things, I would also remove all the * I wouldn't put an * on a button. You could keep the text under and say "Join your first group for free" or whatever your offer is.

This is great, hopefully this helps.

Good luck!

Hi, best of luck to you! Here are my thoughts off the top of my head.

My first impression, this product is not for me. I started reading the "Join a small, like-minded group..." sentence and immediately thought, "I don't want to join a group". (I didn't even know what the product was yet.)

The three fonts used for "Become a... Runner, Writer, or Twitter Influencer ...or whoever else you promised yourself you'd be." don't work too well for me. I first read it as "Runner, Writer, or Twitter Influencer" since that text was huge and bold. Then I realized there was text that said "Become a..." and then a second later saw the text that said "...or whoever else..." I would use a single bold font for the entire heading and make it shorter and more to the point. Right now it's a bit wishy-washy with the phrasing of "Become an X, Y, Z, or whatever you want to be."

Perhaps make it more succinct and targeted, like "Keep yourself accountable with a peer group". My wording isn't great, but the idea is to emphasize what this product is doing.

The text in the three columns below the fold is too long and too grey. It doesn't make it look like it wants to be read. It doesn't feel confident. Shorten the text and make it blacker so it stands out a little bit more. I'd also make the heading font a bit bigger. The heading is too similar in size to the body text, so they don't pop.

The landing page looks quite clean, just the background image is seeking a lot of attention. It would be better if you could change the background image.

Where did you get the 95% more likely from? It doesn't seem to link to anything.
Some of the text on your buttons seems to cut off on certain displays. I'm using a 13 MacBook Pro.
You're using ... too much.

Otherwise good. Sry if that was harsh

I got a bit confused about what exactly to become.
I really got touch when I heard a point "like minded people" it feels like matchmking

I like the design of the web page , good clear concise.

I got a bit confused by the first sentence:
"Runner, Writer, or Twitter Influencer"

I for some reason read this as Become a Running Influencer, Writing Influencer or Twitter influencer. Due to this I though the service is some type of "get followers on social media using our service".

Hope this helps.

From reading your landing page I feel like I have a good understanding of the product, and I do think that there is sufficient value in the paid plan over the free option (also love that the free version doesn't require a cc).

What resonated with me the most was the "HABITS X ACCOUNTABILITY". You set yourself apart and provide value by combining two good tools that become invaluable together.

I think there's definitely value in the free product provided that your user base is significant enough that there are users with the same goals as me. Overall it seems like the product is pretty much a matchmaking service, though I think the same result could probably be found by posting on a relevant subreddit or forum. I think only being able to join existing groups on the free programme is a bit restriction - what if the group I want doesn't exist? I just churn?

I love the design though, nice work!

@michaelheap You forgot to include the link!

Ok, two options now:

OG (for any habit): https://usebecomea.com/
New (Twitter focused): https://usebecomea.carrd.co/

Verdicts?

This sounds amazing, I'm already interested after looking at it for 20 seconds. Small thing, you can probably get away with putting the caption under the button without using an asterisk.