Back for round 2! Can I have your most brutal feedback again please?
Hey guys!
I made a thread here a while ago asking for brutal honesty and it was exactly what I needed, making me pivot from doing creative campaigns to focus purely on copywriting.
Unfortunately my previous background is heavily based on visual design with no copywriting case studies - so I went about creating a website that would explain what I do in an interesting and fun (and possibly provocative) manner:
As a business owner - is this even needed and would you pay for this service, where I help you to create an effective narrative and story for your brand/product so that your end user forms an emotional bond with it?
Also, do you think this design of the website is a good way to show what I do (until I have some solid case studies to show)? Is it understandable?
Again, please be as brutally honest as possible - I'm here to learn and grow so I won't be offended! Thanks in advance :)
I recently got an email from another IH copywriter. He looked at my business https://mentorcruise.com and gave me 10 free tips that I could do in no time. My message got immediately clearer and more impressive. If I had a few $100 to spare for copywriting, I would give it to him. I would also refer my friends to him.
Do the same, right now. What would you change about my landing page? Then do the same for 20 other IndieHackers. Showcase on your site how you made our messages better. Top the whole thing off with a few nice stats ("Since I worked with .... their revenue grew 300%").
Did this individual "cold call" you via email or did they respond to a request for feedback you made here on IH?
Thanks in advance!
Cold call, out of nowhere
How did they pitch the changes w/o coming across as critical of your work?
As you may have guessed, I'm taking notes on how to use the same approach for a different service...
Thanks again!
It definitely was critical, but it was all true. That's what I liked about it - it went straight to the point. Quite literally "Hey you don't know me, but here are 10 things you can improve about your copy", including my main headline being boring and more
Just out of curiosity - would you be able to share what they wrote?
I'm sure myself and many others would find it really helpful :)
https://mentorcruise.com - the changes are already incorporated.
I replaced my headline and subline. Before it was something like 'Personalized mentorship experiences', boring.
I started replacing the 'features' of my products with the benefits.
I added a block of text displaying who is behind it all
I added a testimonial.
I changed my 'Call to Action' buttons
This is great advice and thank you for the real world example - I'll definitely be trying this!
That makes perfect sense, give a preview of how you can improve their messaging and the benefits of working with you become clear really quickly.
Thanks again, really appreciate the comment!
Think it's a cool site design.
Went to the IndieHacker meet up in London last week and there was a talk about Intercom and creating personal connections with your audience.
Could be worth adding Intercom to your site (or Facebook do a free version, https://developers.facebook.com/docs/messenger-platform/discovery/customer-chat-plugin/). That way visitors would be able to chat directly to you and understand more about your writing style and personality via chat. Just a thought.
On another note - we are looking for a Copywriter for a project so maybe able to help you with adding to your portfolio. Send me an email to leo[at]crowdform.co.uk to discuss.
Glad you like the site Leo, thanks!
I've never thought of that but I can see how having an Intercom/chat type system would immediately make the user feel more connected. I'll definitely look more into doing this.
And sure - I'll send over an email now.
Thanks again for your feedback!
Hey Bezan,
I'm confused as to why you're claiming to be a copywriter if you have no case studies. I've always had at least a portfolio. Now I'm rewriting my site and the first thing I put up were my samples.
Think about:
Why would a business hire you over any other generalist copywriter?
Where's your proof?
It seems like you don't understand your audience enough yet. Before writing a word down, you have to research what your target audience wants.
So do some research and then make it clear who you serve. E.g. B2C Accounting-Based Copywriter, UX-Focused E-commerce Copywriter, etc.
There's also no CTA at the end of the page. What do you want visitors to do at the end of the page? I lead mine to my process page for example.
Also, copywriters NEVER ask for permission, as you mentioned: "If you'll join me for a few minutes". Copywriters tell readers what to do. However, I'm not an ad copywriter, I'm a conversion copywriter so this may not apply to you. But if you're going to convince someone, why ask for their attention when you already have it?
Hope this helps. Ask more questions if needed!
Hi Veronika - really appreciate the detailed feedback.
You're absolutely right, I need to build up some good case studies which is the focus at the moment - hence why I designed the website in this way to show what I can do until I build up a solid portfolio.
Great call about the CTA and directing their actions - I didn't think about that so I'll revisit that aspect of the site to align with what action I want them to take.
Thanks again for your great feedback - really appreciate you taking the time to give it!