Can you come back from chronic failure?

Not too long ago, I was approached by IH to tell my story of how I had failed (again) at launching my project, Eurotripr. You can read about my learnings in the article here: https://www.indiehackers.com/post/failure-to-launch-after-going-full-time-on-a-project-learnings-from-craig-campbell-of-eurotripr-12719bbdf9

During the article interview, I made mention that I hoped to restart my primary project Eurotripr.com (again) soon-ish. I have finally done so and began to get my brain around the code base I left when i stopped working on it months ago. It's taken some time and I hit confusion some days when I do work on it but, I have made progress over the past few days.

But I've started to question if this is just an exercise in futility, and is it inevitable I let this fail again?

I have a full time job again. I freelance a bit, although less frequently now that I re-earned the income I lost when I took off last year due to (what I now recognize as) burnout and trying to focus on completing Eurotripr.com full time. I also have a family that needs my attention, as well as extracurricular activities for my kids.

Time is not something I have an availability of. And I am not good at managing it when I do have it.

So I wonder can I come back from my perpetual failures - not just Eurotripr, but a slew of others? Can I reframe my thought process to develop self-discipline to manage my limited time and maintain a level of responsibility my family and employer expect and deserve of me, AND carve out the time to whittle away at Eurotripr enough to launch a useful MVP to finally see if it can be useful to enough people that I can rationalize really devoting all my work hours to it - again, but with success this time.

Am I deluding myself with grand aspirations and ignoring what I, and the universe/God, are trying to tell me: Stop focusing on this thing. Stop being selfish/immature/blind and prioritize on the more important things that demand your immediate focus.

Am I able to overcome my negative self-talk that consistently berates me for continuing down this seeming dead-end path? Can I finally stop this cycle and move beyond the current limitation I seem to involuntarily continue to set for myself?

I question why so many other people seem to make this look so easy, and make their success seem so quick and without the hurdles I am facing.

But when I take a step back. When I get out of my own head and take a break from the "woe is me", self-martyr monologue. When I give advice to other people in my shoes or a bit earlier on in their own journey. When I do these things and think rationally, I realize that the reason others succeed and I do not, is that the persevere through all the same bullsh!t and failures and feelings of fear and hopelessness, and they push through to completion, over and over and over again, until they finally succeed - even if that success is something different than what they hoped for at the beginning of their journey.

Successful people LEARN from each failure.
Successful people SCRAP failing ideas and pivot to new ones.

Successful people CHANGE their internal monologue from a negative one to a POSITIVE one.

Successful people FAIL FAST and sometimes FAIL OFTEN, but they PERSEVERE and don't let themselves or even the universe get in their way.

Most successful people were at one time (or many) a failure. They simply found a way to push through failure enough times to find their own success.

So, will I come back from my chronic failure? I hope so, but regardless, I need to try to. And not to see Eurotripr.com a success, but to prove to myself I can, and more importantly to show my own kids that failure is not a thing that should stop you or hold you back for long.

Here's to trying to push through my own failure one more time along this journey riddled with set back on my way to succeeding in whatever way the universe has in store for me.