Designer made a super pretty landing page - does the copy make sense?
Hey everyone!
We recently had a freelancer designer who completely revamped our landing page. It now looks very pretty (in my opinion - second opinions welcomed). However, a lot of copy was also changed in the process. By glancing through our landing page at inmotion.app, is it clear to you what our product does?
Thanks!
Hi Harry, great design indeed!
I'd make the following changes to your copy:
"Streamline tedious calendaring tasks" -> "Manage your time, not your calendar"
"Google Calendar is slow and clumsy. Motion is fast and helps you stay focused." -> "Faster than Google Calendar"
Also the paragraph below that headline is pretty long, either make it smaller or split it in two paragraphs. Nobody wants to read big blocks of text.
"Join-call button right before a meeting. Don’t scramble to find that link." -> "Don’t scramble to find that meeting link."
"Intelligently generate available times to meet. Without oversharing." -> "Let them know when you can meet, without oversharing"
Words like intelligently mean nothing.
"Easily create personal booking links. Make your invitee feel like a VIP." -> "Ditch Calendly and personalise your meeting invites"
Overall I like the product and the illustration images! You have a SICK logo!
Thank you! That's very helpful! Only have question on the first one: why is "Manage your time, not your calendar" better? Isn't that more vague than "Streamline tedious calendaring tasks"?
"Manage your time, not your calendar" conveys the problem and the desired outcome.
"Streamline tedious calendaring tasks" talks about your solution. Nobody wants to streamline any process, they want the process to go away such that they can focus on what is important to them; in this case, their time.
Also, your main tagline should not be full of coorporate words. "Streamline", "tedious", "calendaring"; people don't say that when they talk to their friends.
Just to agree with @boristane , having a word like 'tedious' prominently on a landing page is likely to do more harm than good.
I understand that you want to address pain points you are solving, but people nowadays skim-read a lot through lack of attention span and negative words like that can jump out.
Ahhh got it; that makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much! Would "Stop wasting time on your calendar" be even better then?
Yeah solid. Depending on the amounts of traffic you get you could A/B test multiple lines and see which convert the most.
Cool; thanks!!
Woah you seem to have an awesome design + marketing team.. // I was really sold on this text: "You should be focusing on real work, not jumping in and out of the calendar 20 times a day..." super relatable! Amazing work :)
Hi @hacker_and_punter
It is a great design for your landing page. I love the motion when you scroll down and Boristane give good advice for the copy.
If you don't want to bother with the copwriting I can do it for free.
I am a SaaS copywriter and would love to help you get the result you deserve.
If you want to know some of the changes I would do just reply