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Did I screw up the landing page with these changes?

by Aleix Ramon

Mistakes might have been made. And mistakes will be made.

But with 15 seconds of your time, you will help me fix them. What's your first impression on this?

https://DoOrPay.io/

Cheers!

Aleix Ramon's avatarAleix Ramon
on December 23, 2020
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  1. 1

    A few comments:

    • It took a little effort to figure out what the product is. I would look for alternative phrasings to make it clearer/more specific.
    • I found the visual design a bit distracting . I would suggest using a standard landing page structure. People are habituated in flowing though a standard structure, so it will make it easier for them to read.
    • The photo backgrounds have a lot going on and make it harder to read the overlay text. While I think the photos are very effective and inspirational, I wouldn't use them on the background.
    girishw's avatar girishw
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    6 years ago
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    1. 1

      Thank you Girish! I've taken your comments into account and tried an alternative landing page. What do you think about this one?
      https://doorpay.io/alt

      Aleix Ramon's avatar Aleix Ramon
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      6 years ago
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      1. 1

        I think it's a big improvement.

        I would think about the outcome/value you provide. Is it a deadline? Another thing to think about - if you meet your goal, shouldn't you get your money back? Or even an additional reward?

        Here are some resources:

        girishw's avatar girishw
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        6 years ago
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        1. 1

          Thank you! It's funny, I was using exactly the same article from @julian you recommended to craft the page. I didn't see the one from llama before, I love it.

          I've taken your feedback and created a new version of the landing page:
          https://doorpay.io/

          If you have a few more seconds it would be awesome to hear your feedback on this new version. Cheers!

          Aleix Ramon's avatar Aleix Ramon
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          6 years ago
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          1. 1

            This is a huge improvement! Couple of comments :

            • "or you'll pay" in the header section sounds a bit threatening. I would rephrase.
            • I would change the text in the CTA to make it punchier like " Start crushing goals". Also, I would increase the corner radius on the buttons to make them more approachable.
            girishw's avatar girishw
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            6 years ago
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            1. 1

              Thank you! The change for better was thanks to your feedback. I agree with your last recommendations, but I'm not sure about what to put instead of "or you'll pay". I feel it wouldn't explain properly how the website works if I change it to something different.

              Any ideas?

              Aleix Ramon's avatar Aleix Ramon
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              6 years ago
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              1. 1

                Couple of options

                • "Crush your goal to get your money back".
                • "Crush your goal or pay the price" (Not sure I like this one)

                I think people will find your model easier to accept if one of these things is true

                • When they miss their goal, they lose the money but a big portion of it is donated to charity
                • Or when they meet their goal, they get their money back + a reward

                But you will need to be careful that people don't game the system.

                girishw's avatar girishw
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                6 years ago
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