Fearful idea guy's first post

I will admit it here and possibly in public in the near future (this was initially supposed to be a private journal entry on my evernote): fear has been taking away my ability to build my ideas efficiently. Everytime I try to work on anything related to the app I am currently building, I end up doing one small thing and stopping because it feels like every small move is draining me. It's the first time I'm doing most of these things, so I am nervous and cautious every time I try to do something. Whenever I try to add anything to the app, I have apprehensions partly because I don't know if what I'm doing is what's needed for the specific feature. I also have apprehensions because I fear that I will break whatever I have already built whenever I add something new. One example of this is using useContext versus redux versus using amplify datastore. I know one of the ways I can make this easier is to finish up my designs first in Figma before I build anything. This way I have a clear roadmap of what needs to be accomplished instead of trying something and figuring out whether that fits or not. That opens up another can of anxiety because when I try to do Figma, I freeze up due to my inexperience, trying to design an app and learn a tool the first time (by trade I am a drupal 7 site builder that uses photoshop for design, obviously outdated skillsets).

To deal with this fear I gave myself no choice but to publicly share my current build in public on the week of my birthday next month. Why next month instead of now? Again, fears - fears about things that I should know are unfounded. One fear is of being seen by who can build fast picking up on the idea and beating me to ship it. Another fear is of failing in public.

So why not just announce what I am doing now? Cut me a little slack, actually writing something in public about it is already something I am trying to come to terms with. And to be honest I also want to announce it with at least a figma prototype with minimum viable app because, you know, said fears.

But I also know that if I start doing this in public, good things will have to come. I know that more challenges will come if I get to ship this idea - challenges like getting mentors, building a good team, brainstorming strategies, figuring out product market fit, finding funding, etcetera. these are another batch of new things that I will never have done done before, therefore opening up another can of. . uggh fears . I know that the only way I will be able to face these challenges is to publicly let people in on the story of the process. I know I also have to do this because I just migrated to the states (bay area) and I know no one here.

I've built websites for clients for the past twelve years and I know I can build something when I have the pressure of someone paying me expecting me to deliver. Hopefully putting this post out there will give me that same pressure.

Expect me to come out with specifics at the end of the first week of next month.