Feedback on Marketing Copy
Hey IH!
Our product amigobot.co is a bot that helps make it easier for remote/distributed co-workers to make stronger personal friendships.
Looking to tighten up our marketing copy before adding our product to our Slack Appstore. What do you think of the below?
Amigo helps teams that collaborate remotely, or across separate offices, make work less lonely.
When your people aren’t in the same physical space it’s challenging to create a culture of strong comradery. This creates loneliness, increases turnover, and is a barrier to the flow of ideas.
Amigo helps your team build stronger personal friendships by:
• Learning what each of your co-workers are interested in personally and professionally.
• Grouping together people with similar interests
• Creating channels where people with similar interests can share conversations about things they care most about.
This helps create a vibrant culture and forms teams that are happy, trust each other deeply, and get shit done.
Thanks all :)
This is a good description, Ara. I now have an idea what amigobot.co does, which is great.
The thing I'd say is that there's nothing that grabs my attention. I think the first line "Amigo helps teams that collaborate remotely, or across separate offices, ..." will lose people. Instead of starting with who it's aimed at, could you start with an attention-grabbing headline, or story, or statistic?
"Do you know the names of your co-workers' children?"
"My co-worker and I worked for 9 years together before we discovered that we're both kite-boarders!"
"60% of remote workers say they're lonely"
[I just made that statistic up, don't quote me on it!]
You only have a few words to grab someone's attention, so make that first sentence really draw people in!
Mark that's great input, thank you!
What I was trying to do was "qualify the customer" so that only the right type of company would try the app. But you're right, without hooking them in at first sentence, no one will try it in the first place.
Appreciate the help :)