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Feedback Please

by Ryan Carruthers

Hey!

Feedback on my latest sales landing page please, I have been working on this with my email list. It would be great to get some feedback from you guys here as well.

The Q's I have been asked people who have viewed it are:

  1. Do you want to buy?
  2. What feature makes you most want to buy?
  3. What Q's do you have when reading it?
  4. If I added one more thing to the membership what would you like it to be?

http://go.themembershipmastery.com/accelerator

All feedback greatly appreciated :D

Ryan Carruthers 's avatarRyan Carruthers
on September 27, 2021
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  1. 1

    Hi Ryan

    Here’s my initial thoughts:

    • “dear friend” looks cheap and nasty to me, makes the offer look shonky IMO.
    • the first set of green checkboxes do not line up vertically on mobile, so looks like lack of attention to detail.
    • the content contains a LOT of references to you. You say “I have done this, I have done that” etc. far too much, IMO. Consider: Figuring out how to reword the content to focus on the customer being the hero rather than you.
    • you still have lorem ipsum on the page and I stopped at that point.
    • you could tidy up the design of the social proof images a little bit, I think.

    Keep going, refine the page copy more and try to make it more succinct.

    HTH

    Shaunau's avatar Shaunau
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    5 years ago
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    1. 1

      Great feedback thank you!

      I am not sure how the lorem got onto the page but that's sorted now.

      Dear friend removed (on the version I am working on)

      Green checkboxes now are aligned too!

      Ryan Carruthers 's avatar Ryan Carruthers
      ·
      5 years ago
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