Writing Feedback April 4, 2020

Finally posted my first blog! How do you think I can improve my blog writing?


Hey Indie Hackers!

I recently finished writing the first blog for my startup. This was much more work than I expected! I give props to all of the professional bloggers out there!

I hope to increase the readability and effectiveness of my blog writing, and to do so, I would love to get feedback from anyone that is willing to read the blog and provide critical feedback!

A couple questions I would like answered include:

  • Did you find the blog topic and information interesting?
  • Did the blog influence your perspective about Facebook's data privacy practices?
  • Is this blog too long? Too short?
  • Does the blog make you interested in my startup product, Omnii, where user's own their data?

Additionally, feel free to provide any other feedback you have about the blog, website, or feel free to sign up for the Beta we are planning to launch by the end of this month, April 2020!

I really appreciate any and all feedback anyone is willing to provide!!

Happy hacking everyone :)

Blog Post: https://omnii.co/blog/2020/03/13/what-data-does-facebook-collect-about-me-where-does-it-go-and-how-can-it-be-used/

  1. 3

    My first impression is that the title is too long. It seems more like a subtitle.

    1. 2

      Hey S10ry,

      I was kind of afraid of that. I will keep this in mind going forward with my future blog posts. Thank you for the feedback!!

  2. 2

    I’d remove the date from your URL structure. You’ll probably update your post in the next few months/years: every time you’ll change its URL, your SEO ranking will go back to zero.

    1. 1

      Hey andreboso,

      This is great advice! I will be sure to do this! Thank you very much!

  3. 1

    Here are some thoughts to consider:

    Try to simplify the writing. Looks like your post is 11th grade reading level. That's too high. Try to shorten the sentences and paragraphs. That will also help make it appear like less work to read. Hemingway app is a good free tool to help point out specific areas you may want to edit.

    The introduction could be stronger. If "everybody has heard" your opening, then you're not giving them anything new. If you don't grab them here, you could lose readers before they even get started.

    Lead with something strong or interesting. Stories, shocking statements, and curiosity gaps work well. So does trying to elicit an emotion.

    Visually, it looks a bit intimidating to read. As I mentioned above, try to tighten up some of those long paragraphs. Adding some visuals would help too.

    Finally, it comes off as biased. Perhaps I'm cynical, but it some my think you're just trying to convince people to switch from Facebook to your app. So why should they believe you? I would consider pulling back on the self-promotion at the end a bit.

    Best of luck.