Founder’s Anxiety is Real

#WorldMentalHealthDay

I’d like to give a personal account on what many of my fellow startup founders do not openly talk in public, that is founder’s anxiety. My purpose is to get more people to talk about this subject openly and because I am not a professional on this subject matter, please do not take this as a professional advice.

To be sure, a study by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 72% of entrepreneurs are directly or indirectly affected by mental health issues while 48% of general population are directly or indirectly affected by the same. The study also found that 49% of entrepreneurs deal with mental health issues directly while only 32% of others experienced them.
The sources of anxieties

While building the product, I doubt myself a lot when I talk about my idea to other founders especially to the technical ones as I am a non-technical founder. I always feel that I am under attack most of the time and run out of words to explain myself. On the other hand, when I meet someone who understands what I am working on, I still doubt that something bigger is not correct with my project.

After launching an MVP, I get even more anxious. I experience mood swings within the same day such as feeling terrible in the morning when I see that there are no new sign-ups overnight and then happy later in the day when I see that people are using my product as I designed it. When no one visits the site mid-day, it gets harder to focus.

When talking to angels and VCs for funding, stress comes in the form of rejections whether they were politely delivered or not. There is even bigger pressure to meet their expectations upon getting that funding. They wouldn’t bother you everyday but they’d expect that you’d update them on the developments regularly.

Another source of anxiety is depleted personal savings. All money problems come in at the end/beginning of the month from rent, food, bills while not knowing how they would be settled. It means cutting the number meals, sometimes a lunch that’s been divided into two, the second half for dinner.
As a Filipino living abroad, I could never tell my family back home about what exactly is going on. After all, we overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) are expected to support our families back home and not the other way around.

By the time I walk up the demo day stage to present my startup, I have already endured a ton of mental torture starting from the build process, knowing that I’d be beaten up again whether I walk out funded or not. I would go through it with a “fake it till you make it” mask because while I believe that my idea is a game changer, no venture capitalist would fund a “weak” founder. This, even as the society holds us to a desired mold of a successful founder – young, energetic, brilliant guy who can see the future.

Being a solo founder, I got no other person to talk about all these struggles. I also have insecurities about not being a tech-founder, and that I am not young anymore at 42.

In all of these, I always try to find the best things that have happened even the tiniest bit of positive change. Especially these days of Covid, reminding myself that everyone, even those who are secured financially and career wise are affected and maybe feeling low. Exercise helped a lot and seeing progress in that area physically is also very very helpful.

This founder role, impressive as it looks based on how the media portrays the successful ones, does not come without warnings. As Elon Musk describes it, “Being an entrepreneur is like eating glass and staring into the abyss of death.” Even statistics show that 9 out of 10 startups fail while 7.5 of 10 venture-backed startups flop.

Still, we'd walk up the demo stage believing that we are the ones who could beat the odds and that the funding at stake will skyrocket our success. Personally, what keeps me going is that internal belief that I am solving people’s problem, maybe very few of them but still making an impact.

*LinkedIn asked me to submit an entry about #WorldMentalHealthDay but I thought sharing it here is much better as the target audience could relate to this more .

Also, let me know how I could help you (no cash please, see paragraph 6 :/ )