Get comfortable with people disliking you if you want to be successful at anything

It’s natural to want people to like you. It’s in our DNA—our ancestors’ survival and ability to find a mate depended largely on acceptance by groups.

However, we often compromise ourselves to gain favor with others and be inoffensive. While this approach sometimes delays some initial discomfort, it leads to a path of mediocrity.

The most successful people are always polarizing to a degree. Leaders, decision makers, entrepreneurs, public figures. They are most often met with high levels of both praise and criticism, whether it’s deserved or not.

The U.S. President, arguably the most powerful person in the world, is in most cases on both ends of the spectrum for public opinion—they are either reviled, or treated like almost like a living god in some instances. Political bias plays a large role in this, but nonetheless is an example.

The same approach applies to women. Men who get friend-zoned or not viewed as a potential romantic partner often aren’t polarizing. They are afraid to be sexual, to potentially be offensive, to disagree. Instead of being themselves, they would rather please than encounter potential conflict.

The internal characteristics that women find most attractive—confidence, boldness, humor, independence of thought—are impossible to achieve if the man is unwilling to stick his neck out and be potentially disagreeable in some way.

Some women will think you’re a dream man, others will think you’re a corny piece of shit and want nothing to do with you.

If you blend in the background for the sake of being liked, both of those groups of women may view you as a pleasant buddy or friend, but neither will view you in a sexual manner.

Would you rather have most women like you as a platonic friend, or have a good portion of women view you in a romantic/sexual manner, if it means others will reject or dislike you?

The more success you have, there will be more people that dislike or hate you, and there is nothing you can do. As long as your actions are authentic, and you have a genuine concern for other’s well being, and act on it to the best of your ability, hate shouldn’t bother you.

Press on, be bold. Be willing to be disliked.

The source of the post is from The Selfishmind (It's a weekly newsletter that talks about self-improvement and Intentional living by pulling inspiration from successful people, philosophy, science, art, and history.)

Hope it was helpful!