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19 Comments

Have you ever noticed? The less you care, the more you succeed

I was rewinding my life and I realized one thing. Each time I cared less about something I succeeded more. Whether it was love, business, education, life or anything else.

Since this is more tech based place I'll give business example here. Each time I really wanted to succeed, I thrived, I gave 110%, I pour my heart and soul I failed. Each time. Every project, every startup. I even posted here about how I failed each time.

There were few examples where I just didn't care, I made something, talked about it and it was good, that wasn't big success but I got what I wanted or needed. I wasn't under pressure, I was relaxed, I didn't care about opinions and so on.

What do you think about it? Is it really the case that when you care less you succeed more? Is that the same case with you?

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    I think a lot of it comes down to how much opportunity you have. When you're putting all your eggs in one basket, the pressure you put on yourself to make it work is immense, and you start to make poor decisions.

    Once you find yourself in a position where opportunity is abundant, you're free to choose what you become invested in, and you can make decisions that are rationale.

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    My spiritual teacher said that the more we think of something with anxiety, pressure, fear, worries, etc, the terrible the outcome will become. She recommends we should have healthy attachment towards our goals, ideas, businesses, etc. The same goes for relationships. The more we cling ourselves towards people, the further they want to go away from us. We have to maintain this with space and healthy detachment.

    It's not that we do not care about it at all. Instead, it is about healthy attachment. Eg."I will give my best but if it doesn't happen, I will accept it and move on."

    Excessive greed, fear, wants, ambition regarding goals, ideas, money, etc can energetically make us distant from them.

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      Wow, I'd like to have a spiritual teacher too! 🙂

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        It is something to be grateful for. I hope you find one soon! :)

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      " The more we cling ourselves towards people, the further they want to go away from us. " this is sooo true

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        Yes. And they say it's the same with money. So the best thing we could do seems like live a moderately attached or detached life. A life where we are working industriously but not attached too much to the results.

  3. 2

    Pretty true.

    Sometime back, I worked on an HR startup.

    For idea validation, I started cold emailing users and asked them "do you want it" ?

    Most of them said 'NO' . So I stopped working on it.

    After some days, the same people who said "NO" came back and said....." Well, it wasn't a problem back then....now it is...".

    By then, I had already lost hope on the idea.

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      Really, that's crazy

  4. 2

    I don't know if this is an actual thing, or just a pattern that you/i want to see afterwards, but I've definitely noticed this before.

    Anecdotally, while in collage, I did a bit of Aikido, a lovely martial art. One of the core concept is that you don't need to exert a lot of energy. To defend yourself, you simply have to redirect your opponents energy.

    As I get older, I feel more and more that Aikido principles apply really well in real life.

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      So I'm not the only one :D

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      Who's the "opponent" in life?

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        I would think of the opponent as anything that you are trying to conquer. You have to meet the opportunity at the right place, with just the right amount of energy, and if you instead try to push and persist ahead of time, you'd only get exhausted with little return.

  5. 1

    Couldn't disagree more here, though I'm not doubting whether or not this is your experience thus far. But this is the polar opposite of what every successful person would tell you.

    That's not to say that a balance of life and work isn't healthy and can't contribute to your overall success not only in business but also in life and relationships, but I think telling people that if you just "care less" about whatever you're working on, you may be more likely to success is a 100% wrong.

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      I might not be 100% wrong, I'm sure it's not 100% sure.

  6. 0

    Totally disagree.

    You have to care about things to succeed in them. We also have to let the game come to us. When you try to force something it doesn't work. But nothing good ever comes without some kind of effort.

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    This comment was deleted 2 years ago.

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      Nice :D
      Can you give some examples of your projects which succeeded and failed

      What are you working on now?

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        This comment was deleted 2 years ago.

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          You gave me an idea, I could offer code from my past projects for free, maybe someone can do something with it xD

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            This comment was deleted 2 years ago.

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    This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

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      Ordered. Looks interesting, and it's one of those older books that were hopefully written for the sake of actually delivering a point across, not to help the author be the "amazon best seller," or any other garbage like that. Thanks!

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        This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

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