TLDR: (1) Your words must make sense to them, for them to answer you adequately. (2) We always have 5 seconds to think through and prepare our follow-up Q — so use it! (3, 4) Decide on a general direction and depth for your questions, before you start asking them.
I can think of something to do BEFORE step 1, which is: listen. It depends on the context of course, but oftentimes the best question comes from listening carefully to what the other person is saying.
For example, say someone is talking about a difficulty they're having (and you're thinking of ways to solve that issue with a product or service), listening patiently can help you identify the key take-aways in what they're saying and allow you to ask the right follow-up questions.
Couldn't agree more.