How to avoid burnout as parents.

Husband & father of 3 here.

• Find balance (look after your health)
• Know your priorities. For me, family always > work / projects. So practically, even though I would love to spend more time on the side projects, realistically this means working when they sleep, generally aiming for an average of an hour a day average. Practically this is normally 2-3 hours Mon - Thurs from 10pm - 1am. Day job is capped at 8 hours a day.
• I try to keep at least 1 day in the week strictly no tech. Spend quality time with family / catch up on sleep / go for a run.
• Remote work is a super-power. I know I can take an afternoon nap, or go for a run if I need to. Creating this kind of flexibility has been key.
• Hack your routines. Waiting for the coffee to warm up in the microwave? 25 pushups. Get up to make lunch? 10 pullups on the way to the kitchen. Out for a run? Listen to a podcast at the same time.
• Accept that things will take time. I have no problem with my product taking 2 years instead of six months if that means I'm not giving up time with the wife/kids.

For me it's all about equal parenting and being super efficient.

I have 5 kids and home school:

• when I hang with the kids I'm often do house chores at the same time
• when with the kids and I'm not doing house chores, I sneak in exercise, pretty much always. I take them down the park most days atm, they play, I exercise/walk and listen to a podcast.
• if I do exercise on my own, then I listen to a podcast at the same time, or watch something on Netflix (depending on exercise). I never watch Netflix/movies without doing something else, feels inefficient!
• all my kids have to help out (apart from my youngest who is 2), two of them are teens and are actually quite useful at times!
• when tired, I have a nap, no guilt there
• I share duties equally with my husband, I encourage all men to do this. Since lockdown we've had a strict schedule of when we work and when we look after the kids. We literally swap every few hours, until 7pm.
• It's super important for women to have their time to invest in themselves, education or career. Men need to push and offer this, the more they put their career and work as a priority, the less they are doing for the mother's longer term possibilities. You might not see it now, but I cannot stress this enough.
• when I'm not with them I work. 8 hours work. 8 hours family. 8 hours sleep. That's pretty much my life.

@paulbot I'm exactly in the same situation. I wish I had the silver bullet for this but I'm still struggling.

Current state:

• Baby 11 mo old
• Still wakes up several times a night, sleeps max 2 hours a day
• My wife is totally destroyed, no sleep, no free time
• I have a full-time job, side projects, and also did 6-7 hours of consulting work.

The combination of these led to more conflicts with my wife and we agreed on taking some actions:

• I reduced and canceled my consulting gig
• I asked my mother and my wife's mother to come over for a day and help out my wife so she will have some "me time"
• I take the kid at least once a week for a walk
• We have a schedule, plan for who does what, and when. This is really important!
• I work on my side projects between 9-11 pm
• I also cap my full-time hours to 8 hours
• Have regular breaks - this is a key to avoid burnout imo
• Your mental and physical health is the priority so exercise regularly, everything else will be "easier" if these are taken care of.

Since we're in the same boat I'm happy to share what worked for me/us, I'm still in the middle of the journey - Companionship FTW! Feel free to drop me an email: took.tomi(at)gmail.com

I have a 13 month old, a full-time job and a side project.

To be honest, for at least the first 6 months, you're gonna have to sacrifice your side project.

Concentrate in this time on helping your partner and establishing a routine for your baby, especially a sleep routine.

This will enable your baby at some stage, probably between 6-9 months, to sleep a good twelve hours through. This will in turn enable you to carve out some time in the evening to work on your side project.

From about 6/7 months on (around the time he started solid food), our son started sleeping from 7pm-7am which allows me between 8-10pm to work on side projects. Trying to do anything before that was impossible.

My situation is a bit different, as mine is 3yo.

But I remember when he was a baby. I was so stressed with lack of sleeping. I'd suggest you (I know, we barely have time to have a shower):

• Share parental responsibilities
• Sleep whenever you can
• Exercise, even for a few minutes
• Heath eating
• Go outside with baby

Why not going out for a walk with baby and doing a healthy picnic? :)

Start building some routines & rituals as soon as possible for your baby. I can't emphasize enough how important it'll be longer term. Mine is 15 month-old now but I can tell: since he started to sleep 12 hours straight at night - around 3/4 month old - everything felt easier.
On top of that, he sleeps 2 hours in the morning + 2 hours in the afternoon; always the same hours; and it's very useful for both my wife and I to know all of this 'in advance' and plan our schedule accordingly.

Father of a 6 month old, with a main job along with a side hustle. First off, I can tell you that (at least for me) my daughter got way easier at around the 5 month mark - so hang in there.

My website currently isn't making any money (so I can't give you the perspective of a "successful" founder) - but I've definitely needed to find more patience in order to make everything work. Things probably won't move as quickly as you'd like right now, but keep pushing and you'll get there.

I'm struggling with exactly the same, thanks so much for bringing it up! This post is so undervoted, wish I could vote multiple times.

As a parent of older kids, my take on life is different.
Don't be in a rush to squeeze in work, family and personal growth at same time.
Kids grow faster than you realize. There is plenty of productive time for you in the later half of life. Time spent taking care of family is not 'wasted or unproductive'.

Consider your 3 month old as your Jr. partner who just joined the firm. The new hire needs 24 hr mentoring. What would you and your co-founder (your wife) do to train the new hire?

Maybe you and your co-founder can plan the day night prior so no surprises during the day. Maybe you want to train the new hire to learn how to ease into night. Make incremental changes every day - and enjoy life!

Here is a thread with some of the great parental advices. @paulbot, those advices might be of your help too!

https://www.indiehackers.com/post/how-do-you-work-full-time-build-a-side-business-and-build-a-family-b2e1ce7503

Drink coffee