How to handle fears we all face when creating online

As a therapist and content creator, I've seen firsthand how anxiety can hold people back in their lives. Many brilliant individuals are handicapped by fears they may not even be aware of.

Here are three common fears indie hackers face when putting themselves out there and how to push through them.

Fear of Being Judged

Stop holding yourself back from creating because you’re afraid of being cringe.
We’re all cringe to somebody.
— Amanda Natvidad

Most of us can relate to the dread of being criticized or negatively judged by others.

Putting ourselves out there can feel like we're dropping our shields and opening ourselves up for attack, making it all too tempting to avoid potential confrontations altogether.

We are social creatures with brains hardwired to care about what others think. This has allowed us to work together effectively, build strong communities, and survive in every corner of the world. Back in the day, before the industrial revolution, being accepted by others was crucial for survival.

Today, while being an indie hacker opening us up for potential criticism isn't a life-or-death situation. But our brains still treat it as such.

When I worry about what others think, I remind myself of the spotlight effect. This cognitive bias refers to our tendency to overestimate how much others notice and care about our actions, mistakes, or appearance. The truth is, most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to dwell on us. So, next time you're hesitating to press "publish," remember that the spotlight isn't as bright as you think.

Fear of Failure

We've all hit that brick wall and failed at some point, whether in our jobs, academia, or relationships. Failure feels absolutely terrible, and some people avoid that emotional bullet at all costs.

Here's the kicker: it's not the actual failure you're afraid of but the bad feeling that comes along for the ride. Of course, nobody wants to pour their heart and soul into a project that's going to crash and burn. But that's not the real roadblock for most folks wrestling with the fear of failure.

What you're really trying to avoid are the feelings that come with failing — the gnawing self-doubt and nasty little voice in your head whispering, "You're not good enough."

The secret to pushing past the fear of failure is realizing that emotions aren't as scary as we subconsciously think they are.

Our emotions are more like passing showers than never-ending storms. Instead of playing tug-of-war with your feelings or pretending they don't exist. The trick is to accept that you are feeling this way and not fight them or avoid it.

An important idea in psychology is that what we resist persists. Feelings are fleeting, and sooner or later, they will go away if you leave them alone.

So the next time you are fretting about publishing your work out of fear of failure, remind yourself that you aren't worried about your product not making it but how it might make you feel.

Fear of Imperfection

"If you're not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you've launched too late."
— Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn co-founder

Launching imperfect and unfinished products to test product-market fit is sound advice, but some people just can't do it, putting them at a severe disadvantage.

Perfectionism is often seen as a unique personality trait that can be bothersome but ultimately leads to great things. In reality, it's a debilitating habit associated with various mental health issues. Overcoming perfectionism involves silencing that inner voice telling you you're not good enough and learning to embrace your feelings by changing habits.

A problem with perfectionism is its tendency to induce overthinking and excessive analysis of every decision. This can result in a phenomenon known as analysis paralysis, which substantially slows down the decision-making process, which isn't great for aspiring indie hackers.

Letting go of perfectionism isn't as easy as it sounds but it's easier if you start with small steps. For example, the next time you agonize over finding the proper wording for that email, resist the urge for perfection and simply hit the send button. The next time you can even try sending it with some spelling errors just to send a clear message to your brain that it doesn't matter.

The brain is adaptable and will learn from your behavior. By demonstrating that imperfection is acceptable, we communicate to our fear-driven brain that being less than perfect doesn't represent a threat.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is closely linked to perfection. It's the nagging feeling that you're not good enough to do the things you're doing, even though you logically know you're capable. Most people with impostor syndrome don't genuinely believe they're frauds; they just feel that way.

Ironically, research has found that impostor syndrome is more common among high-achieving, ambitious individuals. Sound familiar?

To combat this feeling, try being kinder to yourself and treating yourself like a friend. Remember, it's perfectly normal to feel like an impostor sometimes; it just means you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Additional Tips

Clarify your values: If fear is holding you back, remind yourself why you want to be an indie hacker. Chances are, your desire for autonomy and control over your time outweighs any fear of appearing cringe for trying. You are going to be much happier pursuing your values rather than focusing on avoiding difficult emotions.

Join a community of like-minded people: Actively sharing your wins and engaging with a supportive community can help you face your fears head-on. After all, we're all in this together.

Compare yourself to yourself: Not comparing yourself to others is hard. We all do it. But, instead of comparing yourself to the guy with the six-figure MRR, seemingly spewing out great products, try this: Compare yourself to a past version of yourself.

Control your worry: Worrying is a mental habit that involves thinking about potential threats that rarely happen. While it might feel like problem-solving, worry is never productive and only fuels anxiety and stress.

One effective way to overcome excessive worry is to do it on purpose. This might sound counterintuitive, but worrying on purpose can teach your brain not to worry all the time and help you recognize when you're actually worrying. Check out Oeve App for a habit tracker that teaches you how to do scheduled worry.

👉 I'm a cognitive behavioral therapist that tweets about mental health and app development. Follow me on Twitter if you would like to get more actionable tips on how to improve mental health.