How to survive family dinners
There really aren't a lot of situations as ridiculous and messed up as a family business. And the more family members you have working in the business, the more messed up it gets.
There's that saying about too many cooks in the kitchen. Well, that nicely sums up what a family business can be. As much as they can generate an amazing life for the family in question, that family can also be torn apart just as easy.
So here's some tips on navigating this minefield.
TALK, TALK AND MORE TALK AND THEN KEEP TALKING
Beyond any shadow of a doubt in my mind, most family businesses fail because the family members don't talk enough. It's as if showing your cards, or your feelings and emotions, is a sign of weakness.
If you're having a hard time starting the conversation, here are some key points you should consider discussing:
- What is the goal of each family member ie: maximizing profits, maximizing spending accounts, growing and acquiring, selling?
- How much involvement does each member want ie: full-time job, somewhere to float in and out of?
- Are all family members ok with the level of effort the others are putting in?
- What kind of salary is everyone going to take for their efforts?
- What kind of extra benefits, perks, freebies does everyone expect?
- What's everyone's comfort level with those perks?
- Who is the leader, the person who ultimately can make the final call?
- If it's purely split equally amongst however many people, what's the plan to break a dead-lock
BECAUSE, SUNDAY DINNERS
A very good rule you want to consider, is allowing no shop-talk at family dinners. Get some wine or beer flowing, and the conversations can turn, less-than-friendly, pretty quickly.
Plus take it from me, no one else in the room really wants to hear it. They really don't.
Plus that also draws a line. Even though you are all business partners, you were family first. And it's healthy to have a distinction between work and personal here.
Without some sort of understanding, things can go south. And asking for the gravy to be passed can get real awkward....
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