I rated 500 songs in beers. These 10 are unsalvageable.

A while back I built a dumb little site called BeerTuner. The premise is simple. You rate any song from 0 to 11 beers, where 0 means it slaps stone cold sober and 11 means not even a keg is going to fix it.

I built it because I got tired of arguing with friends about whether Wonderwall is actually good or just "three beers good". Turns out putting a number on it is way more fun than expected. It also turns out a bunch of songs everyone pretends to love are, mathematically speaking, kind of indefensible.

Here is the current Hall of Shame after 500 songs and a pile of ratings.

1. Friday by Rebecca Black (11 beers and a time machine)

2. Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men (11 beers)

3. Baby by Justin Bieber (11 beers)

4. Photograph by Nickelback (11 beers)

5. Crazy Frog Axel F (11 beers and a hearing test)

6. Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega (10 beers)

7. Barbie Girl by Aqua (10 beers, 11 if you are sober at a wedding)

8. Macarena by Los del Río (10 beers)

9. Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus (10 beers)

10. Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex (10 beers)

Honorable mention to Wonderwall, which somehow scores a respectable 4 beers in the data and has therefore been spared from this list. The math has spoken. I disagree.

A few things I learned building this. People rate way more brutally after midnight. Songs from the 90s split the room harder than anything else. And nobody, and I mean nobody, gives Crazy Frog a fair shake.

If you want to argue, the site lives at https://beertuner.iamjarl.com. No login, no email, just click a button and decide how many beers any song needs to become listenable. Bonus points if you can find me something worse than Friday.