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27 Comments

I want to rewrite your words for free [anything, not just landing page copy]

UPDATE -> I am temporarily pausing this while I work through the submissions I have already received. Please feel free to continue to submit what you'd like me to review. This is a somewhat time-consuming process (so I can provide what I hope is actually useful feedback) so I just want to set expectations that I may have to stop at some point. Thanks to those of you who have requested feedback so far.

What I want to do for you

I want to help you by rewriting/editing anything you’ve written to make it more concise, easier to read and understand, or more closely adhere to a certain tone or style you’re going for. I am opening this up beyond the normal marketing copy or landing page rewrites. I’ll take a look at any anything you send me. Emails, documentation, team communication, IH posts you have in draft mode, even your personal notes. The only limitation as of now is that I’ll use my judgment regarding the length of what you send (i.e. probably not going to edit your entire ebook).

This is 100% free.

Why I’m doing this

I want to give back to the community and this is what I’m really good at. I’m not sure how many submissions I’ll accept but I’ll do my best to get to whoever comments in order. If you don’t wish to share any links publicly here please feel free to DM me on the tweets. @thepeffrey

  1. 1

    Thank you @thepeffrey for such great initiative!

    May you will have some ideas about our features page or main page.

    https://handypolls.com
    https://handypolls.com/features

    Handypolls it is online poll creation tool

    Thank you!

    1. 2

      @Tirex here's my feedback. If you have any questions just let me know.

      ## Goals

      1. Clean up language and optimize for readability.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Desire to keep the page simple without too much text.

      ## Heading & subhead

      "Create polls and find out people opinions"

      1. Discover what your audience is thinking
      2. Find out what your audience is thinking
      3. Learn what your audience is thinking
      4. Ask your audience what they're thinking
      5. Let your audience tell you what they're thinking

      "Simple and friendly tool for handling polls."

      1. Easily create polls and track responses
      2. Easily create polls and track responses so you don't have to guess what your audience is thinking

      ## What is Handy Polls? section

      "What is Handy Polls?"

      This works. Straightforward and clear.

      "Instant polls creation"

      1. Create polls instantly

      "Create polls without registration and share a link or QR code for voting."

      1. Simply share a link or QR code to collect responses.

      "Choose your target audience"

      This works, no feedback.

      "Manage their voting and voting results access rights or create a number of personal links."

      1. Create personalized links so you know exactly who's voting.
      2. Create personalized links, manage results, and track who's voted.

      "Live polls"

      This is good. Additional options below.

      1. Real-time voting
      2. Real-time polls

      "Use the presentation mode and share the screen during online-meeting or conference to hold a live poll."

      1. Use presentation mode to start a live poll and capture results in real-time.
      2. Use presentation mode to start a live poll and see votes come in as they're cast.

      "Integrations"

      No feedback here.
      ******

      "Coming soon! Use HandyPolls with your common tools."

      1. Coming soon! Use Handy Polls with your favorite tools."

      "Team work"

      1. Teamwork
      2. Collaborate

      "Coming soon! Create polls together with your team."

      1. Coming soon! Create and manage polls with your team.

      "Results analyses"

      1. Analytics
        ******

      "Coming soon! Analyze your polls’ results for the whole time."

      1. Coming soon! Analyze responses and uncover insights.

      ## Ready to try? section

      "Ready to try?"

      Delete this header and make the CTA bigger

      If you want to keep it suggestion below.

      1. Ready to find out what your audience is thinking?
      2. Ready to discover what your audience is thinking?
      3. Ready to start polling?

      "Sign Up"

      1. Start polling now
      2. Start polling today
      3. Create your first poll now

      ## Features page

      "Handy Polls Features"

      This is good and straightforward but two more options below.

      1. Powerful polling
      2. What can Handy Polls do?

      "Create polls for any audience"

      This is good. No feedback.

      "Create polls, share the link, publish them on any platforms and follow-up on the results."

      1. Share a public link, publish to any platform, or create personalized links to target a specific audience.

      "Voting in WhatsApp is easy!"

      This is good. No feedback.

      "Give your WhatsApp group a possibility to vote directly form the app"

      1. Send a poll straight to a WhatsApp group and collect responses right in the app.

      "Real time voting"

      1. Real-time voting
      2. Live voting

      "Hold a vote during the presentation or online meeting."

      1. Use presentation mode to start a live poll and capture results in real-time.
      2. Use presentation mode to start a live poll and see votes come in as they're cast.

      Same feedback as live voting on main page.

        1. 1

          Happy to help, hope you find it useful.

  2. 1

    Would love to hear your thoughts: translatestack.com

    1. 1

      @sharlsz Here's my feedback on translatestack. Hope it helps. If you have any questions let me know. Written in markdown so use an editor/previewer for the best formatting.

      ## Goal

      Edit copy for clarity, readability, and to highlight value prop

      ## Assumptions

      1. Your main value proposition is that you easily enable a company to exponentially increase their reach and attract a global customer base with a single line of code. Secondary to that, your simple no-code customization tools allow a marketer, founder, anyone to manage without requiring engineering support.
      2. Target audience are growing SaaS businesses that want to expand their reach. These companies may be building developer tools or other tools/services that are not tied to a specific geography.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Is there an opportunity to reduce the length of the page by removing some redundant information?
      2. Instead of automatically changing the language on the card near the top of the page using an animation could you create an interactive embed where you instruct the customer to give it a try?

      ## Header & Subhead

      "Manage & Scale languages without code"

      1. Support 40+ languages with one line of code
      2. Support 40+ languages. One line of code

      "Add new languages to scale your business"

      1. Speak to your customers in a language they understand
      2. Speak to your customers in their native language
      3. Scale your business by speaking to customers in a language they understand
      4. Become a global company with just one line of code

      "Attract new audiences by adding a new languages to your website. Once implemented, you are able to scale and manage languages."

      1. Enter new markets, attract new customers, and become a global powerhouse in a matter of minutes.
      2. Support over 40 languages in minutes with one line of code. Scale your business and reach new markets.

      "Try it for free"

      1. Start translating for free

      ## Seamless Integration section

      "Seamless Integration"

      1. Simple integration
      2. Get started in minutes

      "Manage & scale translations without your engineers"

      1. The easiest way to scale your business
      2. The easiest way to scale your business. No engineers required.

      "Once, you integrated the Javascript SDK, you are able to scale to 40+ languages without further touching your code"

      This copy overlaps with the "Javascript Solution" section below. I recommend removing this paragraph altogether. I have provided options below in case you want to keep it.

      1. Integrate the Javascript SDK and start translating right away. No coding required.
      2. Integrate the Javascript SDK and start translating right away.

      "Gain SEO growth through a best practive URL structure"

      1. Drive more traffic by improving your SEO
      2. Improve your SEO and start ranking at the top of search engine results pages
      3. Improve your SEO and start ranking at the top of search engines

      "Auto-detection of languages for best in class UX/UI"

      1. Improve your customer experience by automatically detecting 40+ languages
      2. Improve your customer experience by automatically detecting languages
      3. Improve your customer experience with language auto-detection

      "40+ languages to scale to new audiences"

      1. Grow your business by expanding to new markets
      2. Grow your business by ensuring all of your customers can engage with your product

      ## Javascript Solution section

      I think you can delete the "Hosted on CDN for ultra speed" and "No Re-Implementation Needed for Updates" sections because you explain this same stuff elsewhere. It looks clean when you just jump from the "Get your API key" straight into "How does it work."

      If you want to call out the speed of the API you can do it earlier in this same section or in the "Seamless Integration" section. I have included some suggestions on that section below but wanted to provide this feedback as well.

      "Javascript Solution"

      1. Javascript SDK

      "One Simple Line of Code"

      This is good but I have provided additional options below.

      1. Add one line of code and you're good to go
      2. Add one line of code and start your global expansion

      "Works for any website or platform, just place the snippet above the body tag and you are ready to add new languages to your page"

      1. Just copy and paste the code snippet into your HTML and add the API key. Then set up your translations with just a few clicks and start reaching new customers.
      2. Copy and paste the code snippet, add your API key, and you're good to go. Then setup your translations with just a few clicks and start growing your business

      Use 2 if you stick with the original "One Simple Line of Code" above

      "Get Your API key"

      1. Get your API key now

      "Hosted on CDN for ultra speed"

      1. Built for speed
      2. Translate fast because speed matters
      3. Speed matters
      4. Fast & reliable

      "Speed matters. The javascript SDK and Translatestack ® API is optimized to deliver a fast experience around the globe."

      I understand if you want to keep it, but I think you can get rid of the registered mark. Even large companies don't add this to their sites and, in my opinion, it somehow has the opposite effect and seems a little shady.

      1. Your customers won't have to wait for a translation to load. Our API is optimized to work fast and provide the best possible experience.
      2. Optimized for speed so your customers won't have to wait
      3. Optimized for speed because load times matter.

      "No Re-implementation Needed for Updates"

      1. Easily manage your translations
      2. Set it and forget it
      3. Set up once and translate forever

      "Once you implemented your sdk, can can easily add and manage all translations without touching code."

      1. Once the SDK is installed you can manage your translations from the dashboard without touching code.
      2. Manage translations without touching code.

      ## How does it work section

      "How does it work"

      1. How does it work?
      2. Here's how it works

      "A straightforward implementation to get started"

      1. Simple to install, easy to maintain

      "Integrate Code Snippet"

      This is good. Another option below

      1. Add the Code Snippet to Your Site
      2. Add the Code Snippet
      3. Integrate the Code Snippet

      "Place your snippet above the body tag into your website and validate your page"

      1. Copy and paste the snippet above the body tag in your website. Make sure to include your unique API key

      "All Text Strings will be Fetched"

      1. Automatically pulls in all text

      "Once deployed and validated, all text strings will be fetched and displayed in your dashboard"

      1. All text strings on your site will be automatically fetched and displayed in your dashboard

      "Add & manage new languages"

      1. Easily manage translations from your dashboard

      "You are now able to add all translations, invite collaborators as well as scale to new audiences"

      1. Access your dashboard to manage translations, invite collaborators, and reach new customers
      2. Access your dashboard to manage translations, invite collaborators, and scale your business

      See "ease of use" section below but I recommend pulling some of that content up here and adding a fourth how it works step. Suggestion below

      4th list item header = Customize your translation dropdown

      4th list item body = Adjust the appearance of the dropdown and change where it appears on your site.

      "Try it for free"

      1. Start translating for free

      "Start to Scale your Audience"

      1. Reach new customers
      2. Scale your audience
      3. Grow your audience
      4. Find new customers

      "We enable businesses to scale internationally"

      1. Scale your business internationally with Translatestack
      2. Enter new markets with Translatestack

      "Adding languages to your website is one of the easiest growth hacks to attract new audiences. It even helps to increase your conversation rates by adding more trust with native languages."

      1. Supporting a variety of languages is the easiest way to attract new customers and scale your business. Increase conversion by building trust with your customers no matter what language they speak.
      2. Supporting a variety of languages is the easiest way to attract new customers and scale your business. Build trust and increase conversions by speaking to your customers in their native language.

      "+400.000 Pages world wide supported"

      1. +400.000 Pages supported worldwide

      "+3.3M Text strings fetched for translation"

      This works. My version below may not be true - don't use it if it isn't

      1. +3.3M Text strings fetched and translated

      ## Ease of use section

      I think you could move some of this content into the "how does it work" section as well. Perhaps a fourth step that says "Customize your translation dropdown" or "Customize the widget on your site"

      "Ease of use"

      1. Easy to use

      "One Dashboard to manage your integration & translations"

      1. Manage everything from one user-friendly dashboard
      2. Manage your integration & translations from one user-friendly dashboard

      "No-Code Customization Tool"

      1. No-code Customization

      "Adjust the appearance of the drop down to your needs. You can even define where your language drop down should appear"

      1. Customize the appearance of the translation dropdown and place it anywhere on the page.
      2. Adjust the appearance of the dropdown and change where it appears on your site.

      "Full control over all strings"

      1. You're in control

      "Manage all your translations from your dashboard and add languages to your page as soon as you are ready."

      1. Quickly and easily manage and add translations

      "Estimate your potential gains"

      1. How fast can you scale?

      "Which language would start to add?"

      1. Choose a language to see how many potential customers you can reach

      There are XM+ with German as their first language."

      1. There are XM+ people who speak <language> as their first language.

      "Start now"

      1. Start translating for free

      "translatestack ®"

      "Translatestack.com was born by the own need to add translations to scale up the audience. Since 2015, we are constantly working to build the best translation platform."

      1. Translatestack.com was born out of the need to ensure customers have access to the best products and services, no matter what country they live in or what language they speak. Since 2015 we have been working hard to build the world's best translation platform.

      I'd also remove the registered mark.

    2. 1

      Hey Sharlene - you're in line. Looking forward to see if I can help.

    1. 1

      Hey Adem. Just to be clear you want me to take a look at the specific post you linked? Let me know and I'll add it to the queue.

        1. 1

          @AthosBlade Hey there - here are my edits. I wasn't able to call out the changes as easily as I did with some of the landing page edits so I've just included my version in its entirety. I also did not want to change your tone and style too much so didn't make any drastic changes. Hope it helps.

          ## Intro

          Welcome to the first issue of Adem’s Freelance Journey.

          When I first started freelancing I didn’t have anyone to turn to for advice. I’ve had to learn everything myself.

          I read blog posts, books, watched YouTube, and listened to podcasts but no one shared the “dirty” parts of running a freelance business.

          I want to change this.

          I'm going to be as open as possible in these posts and share the struggles of everyday life as a freelancer.

          I plan on writing one post every month.

          I will NOT share any sensitive information about my clients.

          So, let's get started.

          TL;DR I made $1844 for ~ 70 hours of work on three different projects. I have two other projects in the pipeline.

          ## Income

          I’ve made $1844 this month.

          This seems pretty low for a freelance software developer and honestly, it is.

          September was a busy month so I felt a bit burned out and didn’t feel like working a lot.

          ## Projects

          ### Client #1 ($1739 for ~49 hours of work)

          I’ve been working on this client’s project every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday as a part-time developer.

          I charge him $35/hour which is lower than my usual rate of $50/hour. The reason I’m charging below my normal rate is the founders of this company used to work at one of the FAANG companies, have a cool and useful product, and they’re gaining a lot of traction in their niche.

          The only problem is they’re 100% bootstrapped so they can’t afford to pay my usual rate, but that's fine for now.

          ### Client #2 ($105 for 3 hours of work)

          Client #2 is also a bootstrapped SaaS company.

          It’s run by a solo founder working with half a dozen freelancers.

          I’m charging this client $35 an hour as well. We’ve been working together for quite a while and the work I do on this project is pretty chill so I feel comfortable charging the lower rate.

          We completed a lot of work in September but I didn’t hear back from him until the end of October so I only charged him for 3 hours this month.

          ### Client #3 ($0 for ~18 hours of work)

          Client #3 doesn’t like paying freelancers hourly so we agreed on $1000 for about 20 hours of work.

          I’ve already charged him $300 and I expect to invoice him the rest at the end of November.

          The project is to recreate a classic board game in React and WordPress.

          ## Future leads

          Work was slow the first three weeks of October.

          I was planning on scouring IndieHackers, Reddit, and HackerNews for new opportunities.

          Then, without warning, Client #2 reached out and asked if I was available to do some work on his side project. I accepted his offer.

          Also, Client #3 is satisfied with the work I've done on the current project and he’s planning to hire me for another project which is pretty cool.

          ## Conclusion

          I hope this post was as much fun for you to read as it was for me to write.

          I’m looking forward to reading your feedback so please don’t be shy in the comments.

          If you want to read these updates as soon as I write them you can sign up for my newsletter.

          1. 1

            Thank you so much!

            You improved tonality so much.

            Tonality is what I struggle with the most when writing.

            Do you have any tips on how to improve tonality?

            1. 2

              Glad it helped. One of the things that helps me the most is to read out loud. It’s easier to catch things that sound off and don’t flow, or that don’t fit with the tone or style you’re going for. Another thing I did was remove words that don’t carry much meaning like “super” and “very.” These words mean different things to different people and aren’t concrete. This helps the writing sound tighter. Even writing this comment I had to stop myself from using words like that so it just takes practice to catch it. And that’s the last tip. Keep writing, keep reading. This stuff takes practice just like coding (which I don’t do). To write clean code you have to write a ton of code. Same deal with “regular” writing.

    1. 2

      @mahdix here's my feedback on your landing page. I hope it helps. I tried to give a few options for each element. Written in markdown so copy/paste to your editor of choice for best formatting.

      ## Goal

      1. Edit for clarity & value proposition

      ## Assumptions

      1. The main value/uniqueness is in archiving deleted tweets. Searching through a particular users archive is a secondary value.
      2. I'm subbing the phrase "Twitter Monitor" in as your product name if/when I use it.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Who is your target audience?
      2. Which is more important to your users - search or archiving deleted posts?

      ## Header & Subhead

      "Never miss a Tweet again"

      I think your headline is good and clear. Other options below.

      1. You'll never miss a Tweet again
      2. You can't delete what's already been saved
      3. No Tweet can hide from Twitter Monitor

      "Capture and search all Tweets of any Twitter user (including the things they wish they hadn't said)

      1. Automatically archive Tweets as soon as they're posted. Before they're deleted.
      2. Automatically archive Tweets as soon as they're posted.
      3. Automatically archive Tweets...before they're deleted.
      4. Automatically archive Tweets before they're deleted.
      5. Automatically archive Tweets as soon as they're posted.

      "Get notified"

      1. Coming soon...
      2. Coming soon
      3. Coming soon to a Twitter near you

      "This product is a work in progress but will be ready soon. Enter your email to be notified when it is ready."

      1. Be the first to know when Twitter Monitor is live.
      2. Ready to level up your Twitter game? We'll let you know as soon as we launch.

      "Let me know!"

      I like this copy. No feedback.

      ## Features section

      "Features"

      Good, straightforward header here. Provided a couple options in case you want to try something different.

      1. How does it work?
      2. Powerful features
      3. Become a Twitter pro

      "Keep an archive of all tweets"

      1. Automatically archive Tweets
      2. Automatically archive posts

      "You will have access to a searchable archive of all of the tweets of the user or users you are interested in. This archive will be automatically updated frequently so you won't miss anything."

      1. Follow Twitter users and automatically archive their Tweets. Deleted Tweets? No problem - you'll be able to see them even after they've been deleted on Twitter.
      2. Follow Twitter users and automatically archive their Tweets. Deleted Tweets? No problem. You'll be able to see them even after they've been deleted on Twitter.

      "Detective mode"

      1. Automated alerts
      2. Never miss a Tweet
      3. Never miss a post

      "Get notified if any tweet is deleted (while keeping access even to the deleted tweets) or if a specific keyword is mentioned."

      1. Get notified when a keyword is mentioned or a Tweet is deleted.
      2. Get notified when a keyword is mentioned or a Tweet is deleted. Don't worry, we'll still archive everything.

      "Advanced search"

      1. Detective mode
      2. Tweet Detective

      "Search in tweets using keywords and/or date range."

      "All based on a copy of tweets, so you won't miss anything even if the user deletes their tweets."

      1. Find anything in your archived tweets using advanced search. Be the Sherlock Holmes of Twitter.

      "Get notified"

      1. Coming soon...
      2. Coming soon
      3. Coming soon to a Twitter near you

      "This product is a work in progress but will be ready soon. Enter your email to be notified when it is ready."

      1. Be the first to know when Twitter Monitor is live.
      2. Ready to level up your Twitter game? We'll let you know as soon as we launch.
      1. 1

        Thanks very much! I really appreciate it.

    2. 2

      Hey Mahdix, I'll see what I can come up with. Added you to the list.

  3. 1

    I would love if you have a look to this landing page, I am struggling pretty much on the heading, the first text you see.

    Static Tailwind CSS
    templates for easy integration
    with your go-to language.
    Designing your landing page usually takes weeks.
    Wickedtemplates has them ready for you so you take care of what really matters.
    Deploy stunning landing pages in no time.

    It feels too long..

    thank you so much for this!
    wickedtemplates.com

    1. 1

      @Michael_Andreuzza - hope this helps. I definitely took a stance on what I think your main value prop is. If you think I went completely the wrong way with this I'm happy to take another look specifically at the heading section you called out to better fit what you were hoping to see.

      ## Goals

      1. Clarify value proposition in heading & subhead. Clean up copy throughout.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Your audience wants to be in control and can most likely code (HTML/CSS/JS ror other) That's why they don't use a service like Carrd or Webflow.
      2. Your audience either (1) wants to accelerate their development and use your template as a starting point or (2) doesn't like or know how to design and wants to outsource that piece of the puzzle.
      3. I've made some relatively big assumptions about your value prop and target market - I have focused less on the "speed to market" aspect and more on the fact that your templates can be easily customized and built out beyond just a simple landing page.

      ## Questions you should ask yourself

      1. Who is your target market?
      2. Who are your competitors? Are you competing with Carrd and Webflow? Or do you have an entirely different value proposition?

      ## Heading & subhead

      I am not sure length is the issue, but rather the message. I tried to shorten where I could but also wanted to focus on clearly communicating the value prop.

      "See Bundle"

      1. Buy the Bundle

      "Static Tailwind CSS templates for easy integration with your go-to language."
      My top heading/subhead combination was heading 1 and subheading 1, but feel free to mix and match to find what works best for you.

      1. Beautiful landing page templates built for developers
      2. Validate your ideas faster with beautiful landing page templates built for developers
      3. Your beautiful landing page starts with Wicked Templates
      4. Your custom code, your stunning product. It all starts with Wicked Templates

      "Designing your landing page usually takes weeks. I have them ready for you so you take care of what really matters. Deploy stunning landing pages in no time."

      1. Easily customize & extend our responsive templates using your favorite programming language.
      2. Easily customize & extend our templates using your favorite language.
      3. Validate your ideas faster. Customize & extend our responsive templates using your favorite language.
      4. Validate your idea faster with beautiful, responsive landing page templates. Built with Tailwind CSS.

      Consistency with capitalization below.

      "See all templates"

      1. See All Templates

      "Learn More"

      No feedback here.

      "Click on the cards for live preview..."

      1. Click on the cards for a live preview...
      2. Click on the cards to see the templates in action
      3. Click on the cards to see a live demo

      ## Light Weight & Clean section

      "Light Weight & Clean"

      1. Lightweight & Clean

      "A solution tailored to your needs.

      If you use suggestion 1 or 2 below, I recommend you remove the above phrase "Lightweight & Clean"

      1. Deploy in minutes or customize for days
      2. Clean & lightweight code that's easy to customize
      3. Start customizing right away

      "You've got the idea, I've got the templates. Build your MVP and landing pages in minutes, not days. With 100% responsiveness, and clean code, you'll deploy in no time!"

      1. Build a landing page in minutes or easily add advanced features
      2. Clean code, lightweight, and beautiful templates that are ready to deploy in minutes. Or, easily add advanced features

      ## Ready to be productive? section

      "Ready to be productive?"

      1. Ready to ship?
      2. Ready to launch?
      3. Ready to validate your idea?

      "Start with the free option."

      1. Grab the free template and start customizing now.
      2. Grab the free template and start building now.
      3. Always start with the free option.

      "Either you try the demo and see how it rocks, or get the whole pack so you can be the one rocking it!"

      1. Get rocked by the demo then upgrade to Pro so you can do the rocking.
      2. Try the free starter, realize it's awesome, then upgrade to pro.
        1. Try the Starter for free. Then come back and upgrade to pro.
      3. Try the demo and get rocked or buy the pack so you can do the rocking.

      ## Stay connected. section

      "Stay Connected."

      This works but a more fun option below.

      1. Stay Wicked

      "Subscribe for updates."

      1. Be the first to know when new templates drop.
      2. Don't let the good guys win. Be the first to know when a new Wicked Template drops.

      "Subscribe" CTA

      Nobody wants to just subscribe - connect to value or outcome

      1. Get updates

      "I won't spam your inbox"

      This works - just another option below.

      1. I'll never spam your inbox

      ## FAQs

      I had some issues with your FAQs page - the cards weren't revealing the full text of the FAQs. Could be my browser or something but worth taking a look. I didn't edit the copy as it looks unfinished.

      1. 1

        Hey Jeff, been taking action this past days according to your feedback and some I had myself.

        i changed a lot, including the FAQ, is new.

        Landing: wickedtemplates.com
        Premium Templates: wickedtemplates.com/templates
        Free Templates: wickedtemplates.com/free-templates

        Let me know what you think!

        thank you so much for the insight really interesing.

        1. 1

          The updates you made look great. It may be worth seeing what it looks like to make the subheading a little larger ("stunning landing pages built...") - I think it provides helpful detail but it's getting a little lost between the large headline text and the CTAs.

          I noticed a couple small typos (sould -> should on the faqs and proggraming -> programming on the main page).

          Like I said the updates look great. Glad I was able to provide some helpful feedback.

    2. 1

      Hey Michael you're on the list. I'll see what I can come up with to make it more concise.

      1. 1

        thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

        Been trying so many different ones....

        So appreciate this Jeff!

  4. 1

    Hi Jeff, this is amazing!
    Here's my site - https://cinematicstudio.app - a video editor focused on speed + ease of use. Copywriting is definitely not my forte :)
    Thanks!
    EDIT: I'm only interested in the main page.

    1. 2

      Part 1/2 - Here you go, hope it helps. Copy/paste in markdown editor or previewer for clear formatting.

      ## Goals

      General copy cleanup for clarity and readability.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Speed and ease of use is the main value proposition

      ## Questions you should ask yourself

      1. Given that you build video editing software, is there a way you can better "show don't tell" using video, gifs, and embeds on your page?
      2. Focus your video examples on showing the process and the tool rather than the outcome (final video edit).
      3. Consider how your potential customers make decisions. Do you need to explain every one of these features, or is there a way to condense them down?
      4. Do the large hero/banner images down the page help drive conversion? Do they push users toward downloading? I actually removed those divs with the inspect tool and think the site looks much better without them (nothing against what I assume is you and your very cute dog).

      ## Heading & subhead

      I recommend flipping the download CTA and the headline. By putting the download on top you are sort of asking the visitor to download the app before telling them anything about it and selling them on why it will make their life better. I see what you're trying to do but I think it may be best to stick to the more conventional method here.

      "Download"

      Recommend reducing the transparency so it is more legible. This is ultimately what you want users to do. Don't hide it.

      1. Start editing now
      2. Start editing today

      "Edit videos 5x+ faster than before!"

      1. Edit your videos faster than ever
      2. Edit your videos 5x faster
      3. Editing videos has never been easier
      4. Fast, easy, and powerful video editing
      5. Fast & easy video editing

      "Get Started" CTA

      1. Start editing
      2. Start editing today

      ## How confident are we in our app? section

      "How confident are we in our app?"

      1. The fastest video editor out there. We can prove it.
      2. The fastest video editor out there. Don't believe us?
      3. How confident are we that you'll be able to edit videos 5x faster?
      4. How confident are we've built the fastest video editor out there?
      5. The fastest, easiest to use video editor out there.

      "Extremely. That's why we've started a youtube playlist: "Do it in Under 5 minutes", where we publish a new video once a week."

      1. Watch our "Do it in under 5 minutes" video series to see how you can create beautiful videos in minutes.

      "Download"

      1. Start editing now
      2. Start editing today

      "Under 5min"

      No feedback here.

      "Tutorials"

      No feedback on this copy.

      Recommend putting the Under 5min CTA in the 'first' position on the left. You may also want to remove both the download and tutorials CTAs as that is not really the intent of this section. You're discussing the Under 5min series so taking them to a 7min video may throw people off. You can also add a "Download Cinematic Studio now" or "Start editing now" CTA to the Under 5min page.

      ## Basics section

      "Basics"

      1. Make beautiful videos. Fast.
      2. Start with the basics
      3. Back to basics

      "I start every video project thinking 'I'm the Shakespeare of video creation'. But then, reality sets in... Sound familiar? We know how it feels to struggle with video editing... Let us make you 5x+ faster. And bring back that smile ;)"

      1. You start every project thinking that you're the Usain Bolt of video editing... but then, reality sets in. The tools you're using just don't let you move as fast as you want. With Cinematic Studio you can get to the finish line 5x faster.
      2. Your video editing tools shouldn't hold you back. With Cinematic Studio you can deliver your final cut 5x faster.

      I used Usain Bolt above because he's the fastest person on Earth. If you prefer Shakespeare or someone else it still works.

      "Download"

      1. Start editing now
      2. Start editing today
      3. Get started

      "Under 5min"

      Not sure this CTA is necessary here. If you want to keep it I think the copy is fine.

      "Drag & Drop"

      What you have here works well but I've provided another option below.

      1. Intuitive UI

      "You told us - we listened. We've redesigned the UI to make it a piece of cake to use. Drag and drop: videos, photos, music, effects."

      1. Simple and user-friendly. Just drag & drop videos, photos, music, effects, and more.
      2. Just drag & drop videos, photos, music, effects, and more. Our UI is built for simplicity and ease of use.

      "Instant Preview"

      What you have here works as well. More options below.

      1. Instant feedback
      2. Instant results

      "Click, edit, see instant results. Hover over the timeline - instant results. Hover over the video - you'll preview the video. Hover over the effects, you'll preview the video and the effects."

      1. Immediate feedback makes editing a breeze. Hover, click, edit and see your changes instantly.
      2. Immediate feedback and no long load times make editing a breeze. Hover, click, edit and see your changes instantly.

      "Cut/Trim"

      1. Simple cut & trim
      2. Cut & trim made simple
      3. Cut & trim with ease
      4. Simple cut & trim

      "Just hover over what you want to cut. Click and drag for as long as you want to keep cutting. You have instant preview while dragging!"

      1. Hover, drag, and cut. It's that easy. You even know exactly where to cut with the instant preview.
      2. Hover, drag, and cut. It's that easy. Use the instant preview to know exactly where to cut.
      3. Hover, drag with the instant previewer, and cut. It's that easy.

      "Freeze"

      No feedback here.

      "Hover until you find the right frame to freeze. Switch to & Static Video & mode, click and drag. That's it!"

      1. Use the instant preview to hover and find the frame you need. Quickly switch to static video mode, click, drag, and you're done.
      2. Use the instant preview to hover and find the frame you need. Quickly switch to static video mode, click, drag, and you're frozen like an ice cube.

      "Crop"

      "On the media, click on the Crop icon. Then move/resize the Crop rectangle to your liking. Hover over the lower section to see an instant preview of how your crop affects all the media."

      1. Easily crop media with just a few clicks. The instant preview lets you see your changes before you commit.

      "Change resolution = 1 click"

      1. Change resolution with just 1 click
      2. Quickly change resolution
      3. Easily change resolution
      4. Dynamic resolution

      "Go to toolbar, click on the Resolution box, select, and that's it - the project adjusts!"

      1. Easily adjust your project's resolution.

      ## Video section

      "Video"

      1. Powerful features. Easy to use.

      "Getting started with video editing? Focus on filming great content, we'll take care of the post processing."

      1. Spend your time filming great content, not learning complex editing software.

      "Download"

      "Under 5min"

      See comments above regarding these two CTAs

      "Epic Focus"

      No feedback here.

      "Use it when you want to focus for a short while on a specific cropped part of the video. It's Pan & Zoom, taken to the next level - where we apply an effect on zoom in, and on zoom out. And the results are simply awesome!"

      1. Focus on a cropped section of your video. Pan & zoom turned up to the next level.

      "Speed Ramping"

      1. Automated speed ramping [only use this if the word 'automated' makes sense]

      "Click somewhere in the video, press K. Edit speeds. We'll do the rest - including accelerating between the speeds."

      1. Seamless speed variations in a few simple steps.

      "Time-remapping to the BEAT"

      1. Simple time-remapping to the beat

      "Select the "Built-up" parts of your video (where your video will play in slow-mo). Select some music keyframes (where the video will play in slow-mo). Enjoy!"

      1. Select the build-up, select the music, and let the beat drop.
      2. Select the built-up portion of the video and the music keyframes. Enjoy!

      "Awesome Effects

      1. 100+ Effects
      2. Effects made simple
      3. So. Many. Effects.

      "We've added 100+ effects you can use - simply drag and drop, set some properties, and then see them in action!"

      1. Over 100 effects to choose from. Simply drag & drop, configure, and see them in action.

      "Immersive Transitions"

      1. Smooth transitions

      "Our transitions are immersive. The apply to the ending video and to the next video at the same time. So while the transition is running, both videos are running."

      1. Immersive transitions that apply to the ending of one video and the start of the next simultaneously.
      2. Immersive transitions that apply to two videos simultaneously.

      "Animated Crop"

      No feedback here.

      "As a bonus to the regular Crop, you can set several keyframes, and at each keyframe have a different cropped section to animate to. Hover in the lower section, and you'll instantly see the results!"

      1. Set your keyframes and animate a different cropped section in each. Take your crops up a notch.
      2. Set your keyframes and animate a different cropped section in each.

      ## Music section

      "Music"

      1. Move to the beat
      2. Feel the rhythm
      3. Turn up the volume

      "Wanna add music to your videos? It's simple. Synchronize your video to the music with just a few clicks."

      1. Easily add and synchronize music with your videos.
      2. Easily add music and synchronize it with your video.

      "Download"

      "Under 5min"

      See feedback above on other sections.

      "Drag & drop your own"

      "You can use our own music - which is FREE as long as it's used from our app. Or simply drag and drop your own music - we'll also figure out the music beats."

      1. Add your own music and we'll automatically find the beat. Or you can use our music library for free.

      "Record yourself"

      "Anywhere during the video, you can record yourself as the video plays. If you don't like it, do another take. Until you're happy with it. If you have some background music, it will auto-fade out when you talk, and fade back in when you stop talking."

      1. Easily add your own voice to your videos. Background music will even automatically fade in and out when you speak.

      "Cut / move / split"

      "Anywhere you wish, you can select a part from the song and cut it out. Or decide to keep it and drop everything else. Or, split the song, and use one of the split parts later. This also applies to the sections where you've recorded yourself."

      1. Intuitive audio editing makes cutting, splitting, and moving audio as easy as 1-2-3.

      "Set Volume"

      1. Volume control
      2. Turn it up
      3. Is this too loud?
      4. I can't hear you

      "To any music segment - select it, and on the right, you'll see the volume. Drag it higher or lower - that's it!"

      1. Select a clip and drag the volume up or down. That's it.

      "Sync to the Beat"

      No feedback here.

      "On the music section, we show the beats. While you resize an effect or transition, we'll show you the beats and snap to them. This works also when you resize the media. This also works when you cut a part of a video - so it's synched to the beat!"

      1. We'll automatically display and snap to the beats. If you resize the media, it adjusts automatically.

      "Reverse Sync to the Beat"

      "You can also drag the song, to fit your video transitions!"

      1. Drag the audio file to fit your video transitions.
      2. Drag the song to fit your video transitions.

      ## FAQs

      "When did you launch?"

      "We haven't officially launched yet. We're still in BETA until spring of 2021. We will launch on 1st of March 2021. Stay tuned!"

      No feedback here.

      "What Operating System does Cinematic Studio run on?"

      "For now, it's Windows 10 Only, version 1903+. Depending on what you guys ask, we may port it to other platforms as well."

      1. Currently Windows 10 version 1903+. Let us know if there is a platform you'd like us to build on.
      1. 2

        Part 2/2

        "How much does Cinematic Studio cost?"

        "While in BETA, the application is FREE. After that, it will be subscription based."

        1. While in Beta, you can download Cinematic Studio for free. Once we launch, it will be subscription based.

        If you download the beta do you get updates once it's paid? Or do you have to sign up and pay?

        "What if the feature I want isn't there?"

        "Please drop as an email at cineamtic@cinematicstudio.app, and we'll do our best to add it!"

        1. We always love to hear from our customers. Send us an email at cinematic@cinematicstudio.app and we'll do our best to add it to our roadmap.
        1. 1

          Wow, so much awesome feedback! Many many thanks!
          I will start updating once I get the video to show off the contest (I'm about to start a contest in less than 2 weeks) - I already have the old page modified for it, so I don't want to redo the same work twice :) But will definitely up date it due to your feedback!

          About the dog - he is mine :) I am not sure if it helps or not conversions, since I haven't actually officially launched (my currently planned launch date is 15th of March), I will do some A/B testing then.

          Thanks again!

          1. 2

            Happy to help. On that point of the images, I just thought the way the sections flowed together without the images in between looks really clean. I like the photos just not sure they fit.

            1. 1

              Thanks! That is definitely something I need to think about!

    2. 2

      Hey there Cinematic Studio team - I will add your site to the list. Thanks for letting me know to just take a look at the main page.

  5. 1

    Hey, not sure if your still doing this.
    https://www.designacademe.com

    Thank you in advance.

    1. 2

      @designacademy hope this helps. Part 1/2. Copy/paste into markdown editor for better formatting.

      ## Goals

      General copy clean up for clarity and readability.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Primary copy is written to target teachers or adults who will purchase the courses on behalf of kids or who want to understand design fundamentals.
      2. Targeting beginner to intermediate level designers.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Who is the primary buyer of your software? Is it teachers who then use the courses to teach children? Is it middle or high-school aged children? is it parents purchasing for their kids? This could influence more specific marketing copy.

      ## General

      ## Heading & Subhead

      "Interactive design courses for teachers/children/students"

      If you want to leave the emphasis on the teachers/children/students aspect then I think the copy as is works.

      1. Do you want to design the next Spotify/TikTok/Twitter <insert product of your choice>
      2. Hands-on learning for aspiring design nerds
      3. Interactive learning for aspiring design nerds
      4. Learn design fundamentals through interactive lessons

      ****"Learn the principles of what makes a great design and start creating more visually appealing products."

      1. Learn the design principles used to create your favorite websites, apps, and products.

      "Unique activities that focus on the fundamentals"

      1. Interactive lessons that focus on the fundamentals
      2. Interactive lessons that focus on design fundamentals

      "With over 30 unique activities, grasping the fundamentals couldn't be easier. Start practicing through deliberate practice."

      1. With 30 unique activities, you'll learn by doing.
      2. Practice makes perfect. With 30 unique activities, you'll learn by doing.
      3. Learn by doing with 30 unique activities. Practice makes perfect.
      4. Learn by doing with 30 unique activities.

      The video you have here is not particularly relevant to the content of this section. I think your visitors would be more engaged if you jump straight to the interactive activities you have embedded below.

      "A fun way to learn"

      "Videos are great but being able to practice what you were taught will help you retain information and instantly improve."

      If you take my suggestion regarding the video above, then I recommend you remove the copy from this section entirely and bring the complementary color lesson up so it sits next to the "Unique activities that focus on the fundamentals" copy (so it looks similar to the text highlighting section). I think this will look cleaner and provide better flow. I also recommend adding some copy that let's users know this is more than an image and is actually an interactive challenge. Something like "Try it now. Do you know the right answer?" on top or right next to the activity.

      "Lesson 01"

      1. How to highlight text

      "You can Highlight text simply by highlighting any section within the reader. Give it a try.

      “Understanding the combinations of colors and how red and green combine to make yellow are important.“ You can also underline by clicking on highlighted text."

      Make sure to remove those special characters from the copy in the interactive highlighting portion. Make the "H" in the first Highlight lowercase.

      I'd also add a something to let the user immediately know they can actually try highlighting the text. As it is now, the person has to read half of that text block first before they realize that maybe they can do that.

      "Tools at your disposal"

      1. All-in-one learning platform
      2. The whole toolbox
      3. The entire toolbox

      "No need to use external programs. Note-taking, stickies, and quizzies come built in to help you with your learning."

      1. Take notes, highlight passages, bookmark lessons, and add stickies seamlessly.
      2. Notes, highlights, bookmarks, and stickies all at your fingertips.

      Move the quizzes mention to the next section.

      "Progressive learning"

      1. Learn at your own pace

      "You practice at your own pace. Fill in your knowledge gaps, or learn concepts from the very basics."

      1. Learn at your own pace. You can start from the very beginning or jump around to specific lessons. Each course includes quizzes so you can ensure you're learning and track your progress.

      ## A variety of courses to choose from section

      "A variety of courses to choose from"

      1. What do you want to learn?
      2. What will you learn next?
      3. Where do you want to start?

      "Color Theory"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Master the color wheel. Learn how to effectively use colors and choose color combinations.

      "Typography"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Learn the art and science of fonts and how to choose effective font combinations.

      "Hierarchy"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Learn how to apply visual hierarchy to your designs to get users to look where you want them to.

      "Responsive"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Learn how to design responsively so that you give users a great experience whether they're using a smartphone or a desktop.

      "Flexbox"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Learn how to effectively structure and design a website using this popular tool.

      "Design Tips"

      "Learn a new skill today"

      1. Learn tips and tricks to optimize your designs and make your work stand out in a crowd.

      ## Dark blue background section

      I recommend removing this entire section. It lengthens the page and does not provide any new information that is not covered elsewhere. Convert the "Designed for beginners" header & copy to something similar to the above "Tools at your disposal" and "Progressive learning" elements.

      "Courses Designed For Beginners"

      1. Designed for beginners

      "Start with the basics and proceed when you feel comfortable. Our lessons start from the very basics to get you learning without feeling confused."

      1. Our courses are created by a team who know what it's like to learn design from scratch. You'll start at the very beginning so you won't feel confused.
      2. Start with the basics and work your way up. Our courses are created by a team that know what it's like to be a beginner. We've got you covered.

      "Customized for the learner"

      "Our courses are created by a team of individuals who understand what it's like to be a beginner. We have you covered."

      My recommendation is that this content is combined with the above "designed for beginners" headline and removed.

      "Concepts"

      "Don't just sit and observe in traditional settings. Learn how to apply that knowledge as well."

      I don't think this says anything substantive and can be removed.

      "Colors"

      "Master the color wheel. Learn color combinations and how to choose colors effectively."

      1. Master the color wheel. Learn how to effectively use colors and choose color combinations.

      If you want to include a brief description of the course, I recommend you make the tiles larger in the "A variety of courses" section and include this copy within the tiles in place of the current "Learn a new skill today." See my recommendation above. This applies to the Hierarchy, Typography elements below.

      "Hierarchy"

      "Learn how to apply visual hierarchy to your design work to create a system of importance."

      1. Learn how to apply visual hierarchy to your designs to get users to look where you want them to.

      "Typography"

      "Learn the art's and techniques of fonts and how to choose combinations of fonts effectively."

      1. Learn the art and science of fonts and how to choose effective font combinations.

      ## Rocket ship section

      This section also restates much of what has already been said. I do think the animation is cool, but not sure the text/copy in this section adds any value. Is it possible to do a slightly different version of the animation and have the rocket ship wind through the top section (where the interactive activities are embedded) while the user scrolls?

      If you do keep this section, one note regarding the animation - although the initial animation of the rocket ship taking off looks nice, it actually makes the site less usable because on initial page load (the first time you scroll to it), I was forced to watch the animation from beginning to end. When I tried to scroll up, the page forced me back down. I recommend tweaking or removing the animation so it doesn't "trap" the user.

      I have provided my copy recommendations below but do think they overlap significantly with copy above.

      "Learn"

      "Start with the basics and proceed when you feel comfortable. track your learning, create notes, take quizzes and more.

      1. Start with the basics and level up as you learn. Track your learning, take quizzes, and more to make sure you're on the right track.

      "Explore"

      "Browse a library of 50+ unique lessons and activities curated to support your learning journey. New courses added periodically."

      1. Browse a library of 50+ unique lessons and activities curated to support your learning journey. With the Premium plan, you'll have access to new lessons and activities as soon as they're added.

      "Study"

      "With Design Academe, learners can use our built in toolset to enhance their learning. Highlighting, Note-taking and more."

      1. Use our built in tools to enhance your learning experience. Highlight passages, take notes, and more.

      "Play"

      "Make learning fun playing our variety of custom mini-games provided with each course pack created to help you learn"

      1. Learn by doing with our custom mini-games and activities.

      ## Let's get you started section

      "Let's get you started."

      1. Start learning today.
      2. Ready to start learning?

      ****"Get instant access to over 50 lessons, 20 activities, and easy to follow readings."

      1. Dive into a single course or purchase the Premium plan to access all 50+ lessons and 20 activities.
      2. Test drive a single course or purchase the Premium plan to access all 50+ lessons and 20 activities.

      "Any Course"

      1. Single Course

      "$10 One time purchase"

      1. $10 one-time purchase"

      "Choose course"

      1. Start learning now

      "You can choose to purchase any individual pack that is available at the store."

      1. Get unlimited access to any single course upon purchase.

      "Premium"

      "$15 Per month/ recurring"

      1. $15 per month

      "Coming soon"

      If feasible, you should also enable pre-order of the Premium plan. No feedback on copy I think Coming soon works.

      *"As long you are subscribed, you will continue to receive access to all current and future packs"

      1. With an active subscription you'll get access to all current and future courses.

      ## What's included with every purchase

      This section also feels a bit repetitive. I recommend taking the "24-7 Support" and "Improvement Tracker" sections and bring them up to the features section near the top of the page (where the interactive embeds are).

      "What's included with every purchase"

      1. What's included with every course

      "16+ Unique activities"

      "With over 16 unique activities, it's easy to fall in love with learning something new."

      1. Fall in love with learning - no more boring lectures or text books.

      "Digital Notepad"

      "Accomplish more with digital notes while learning. Find, review, or edit lesson notes fast and seamlessly."

      1. Easily take notes during your lessons and review them later with seamless search and editing.

      "Custom Tools"

      "Underline and Highlight any text. Take notes and quiz yourself at any time."

      1. Underline and highlight text, take note, and quiz yourself at any time.

      "Improvement Tracker"

      "Track your learning and tackle your weaknesses. Improve drastically through repetition."

      1. Identify and tackle your weaknesses. Track your learning and improvement.

      "24-7 Support"

      "Need help? We're available for any questions, suggestions, and general support at any time."

      No feedback

      1. 2

        @designacademy Part 2/2

        ## Still not convinced? section

        It may be worth calling out these discounts in the earlier pricing CTA since you are still "pre-launch"

        "Still not convinced? Take 40% Off"

        1. Are you ready to start learning yet? Pre-order now and save 40%"

        "Any Course"

        "$10 (X) $6"

        "Pre-Order"

        "You can choose to purchase any individual pack that is available at the store."

        See feedback on above pricing section for suggestions on this copy.

        "Premium"

        "$15X $9"

        "Per month/ recurring"

        "Coming soon"

        "As long you are subscribed, you will continue to receive access to all current and future packs."

        See feedback on above pricing section for suggestions on this copy.

        ## FAQs

        "Is there a trial period?"

        "Rather than providing a trial period, we offer a preview of every lesson and chapter. That way you will be able to first see if a course is one your interested in before purchasing. We may provide a trial period in the future."

        1. Rather than provide a trial period, we offer a preview of every lesson and chapter so you can determine which courses are right for you.

        "Why should I join?"

        "If your goal is to improve on either new or existing knowledge about design, these interactive courses are for you. We move away from the traditional approach of learning and instead provide an hands-on learning experience."

        1. If you are a beginner or intermediate designer then this course is for you. We provide a hand-on learning experience so you can learn by doing.

        "How do I cancel my subscription?"

        "You can cancel your subscription directly from your profile settings or by sending us an email at designacademyapp@gmail.com."

        No feedback here.

        "If I buy a course, is it mine forever?"

        "If you purchase an individual course, the course is yours to keep forever. You also do not need an active subscription to access your course as well. The only requirements is an active internet connection. If your on a monthly subscription, you have instant access to all courses for as long as you are subscribed."

        1. If you purchase an individual course, you have lifetime access to that course. You can access your purchased courses by logging into your Design Academe account. If you are on the Premium plan, you have access to all courses as long as your subscription is active.

        "What is your refund policy?"

        "Anyone can request a refund only within the first 24 hours after paying."

        1. You may request a refund within 24 hours of purchase.

        "Why is Design Academe Better?"

        "We wanted to provide a way for people to improve their design skills in non-conventional ways. The average school system will walk you through design topics by either demonstrating past projects or by watching endless videos. Although videos are a good form of learning, we believe rather than just sitting back and observing, you should also take action. This is where we come in. We provide you readings, quizzies, and interactive activities to help you stay motivated the entire way. User interaction has proven to increase user engagement, learning, and progress."

        1. We want to provide a way for people to improve their design skills through hand-on and interactive lessons. Traditional design courses are lecture and video-based. User interaction has been proven to increase user engagement, learning, and progress, and our courses are built to take advantage of that fact. We provide lessons, quizzes, and interactive activities to keep you motivated throughout your learning journey.

        ## Pre-Order Page

        You should mention the additional pre-order benefits on the landing page wherever your pricing is listed - this may be enough to entice people to purchase, but if they never see it then they won't have the chance.

        "Pre-order now and receive additional bonuses for a limited time."

        1. Pre-order now to receive these bonuses (offer ends Day, Month, Year)

        "If you pre-purchase a course now, you will receive an additional course of your choice and other bonuses on launch for free:"

        Delete this line.

        "A choice of 1 additional course for free.

        No feedback here.

        A coupon for 50% off any course.

        No feedback here.

        "1 Month of Design Academe Pro Membership."

        1. 1 Month free of the Design Academe Pro Membership.

        "Design Academe will be available on February 1st, 2021."

        1. Design Academe will be available starting on February 1st, 2021.
        1. 1

          I'm dumbfounded. You gave so much quality feedback and edits. It's pretty late here now(4am) but I will re-read the list tomorrow and start applying changes.
          I really appreciate you taking the time to help myself and others out.

    2. 2

      Hey Jordan, yes I'm still doing this. I'll add your site to the queue. Thanks for responding.

  6. 1

    Hi Jeff, thanks for offering your time and energy. I’ve iterated a few times on the copy for my new product https://mymomentjournal.com (a morning journal you keep by email) but copywriting is definitely not my forte. Would welcome any suggestions you have to make the benefits clearer and more enticing. Thank you!

    1. 2

      Here you go Jon. This was written in Notion using markdown, so for better formatting copy/paste into a markdown editor or previewer. Hope it helps.

      ## Goal

      Clarify the benefits of Moment and make it more enticing to visitors.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Value proposition is that Moment helps you build your journaling habit. Moment takes away the anxiety caused by the "blank page" and wondering "what do I write about?" A reminder triggers the user with specific questions to respond to.
      2. Broad target audience - "busy people" aka everyone.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Is there a way to break up the text above the fold so that it is a bit more visually appealing?

      ## Header & Subhead

      "Sign Up" CTA in top right

      1. Start journaling

      "Moment"

      1. Your simplest path to a journaling habit
      2. You want to build a journaling habit? Moment is the answer
      3. You want to build a journaling habit? Moment has your back
      4. Struggling to build a journaling habit? Moment is the answer
      5. Even you can make journaling a habit with Moment

      "THE MORNING JOURNAL YOU'LL ACTUALLY KEEP"

      1. Never ask "what should I write today?" again
      2. Never again ask "what should I write today?"
      3. The Daily Journal That You'll Actually Keep
      4. The Daily Journal That Makes Writing a Habit
      5. The Daily Journal That Makes Writing Easy
      6. The Daily Journal That Makes Self-reflection a Habit

      "Moment is a guided journal that helps busy people make time for self-reflection. Each day, at your chosen time, Moment emails you inspiring questions to ask yourself. Simply reply to your private email address and your entry is securely stored for posterity. Answer as much or as little of each question as you want. Write a story, say one thing, or say nothing. We’re here to help you find your voice and keep your habit."

      I think there is some good content here but it is a block of text. I will pare things down and reword but you may also consider adding some formatting or breaking it down a bit. Also worth considering if this should shift

      1. No more hopelessly staring at a blank journal entry. With Moment, you'll receive a daily email with thought-provoking questions and writing prompts so you don't have to ask "what should I write today?" Simply hit reply, respond to the prompts, and hit send. Moment saves your responses in your private and secure dashboard.
      2. Yes, even you can build a journaling habit with Moment. You'll receive a daily email with thought-provoking questions and writing prompts so you don't have to ask "what should I write today?" Just hit reply, respond to the prompts, and hit send. Moment saves your responses in your private and secure dashboard.

      "$5/month or $60$45/year"

      I would make the pricing text a little larger

      1. $5/month or $60 $45/year (that's 3 months free)

      "Try it free for 21 days"

      You can delete this since you say the same thing on the CTA below.

      "Start journaling free for 21 days"

      I like the copy here, tells the user exactly what the action will do. Another variation below.

      1. Start building your journaling habit for free.

      ## Feature tiles section

      I suggest you add a short headline to each of the feature tiles - makes the page and section more scannable. I've denoted that with "[color] tile =" below.

      Red tile = Daily prompts in your inbox

      "Journal prompts are delivered to your email so you remember to take a moment to reflect"

      1. Thoughtful writing prompts and questions delivered to your inbox daily
      2. Writing prompts and questions delivered to your inbox daily.
      3. Writing prompts and questions delivered to your inbox daily so you always remember to take a moment for yourself.
      4. Writing prompts and questions delivered to your inbox daily so you remember to take a moment to reflect.
      5. Thoughtful writing prompts and questions delivered to your inbox daily so you remember to take a moment to reflect.

      Purple tile = Just hit reply

      "Simply reply to the email — prompts come from your own private address"

      1. Simply reply to the email and Moment saves your response.

      Yellow tile option 1 = Journaling on your schedule

      Yellow tile option 2 = Write on your schedule

      "Schedule deliveries for the days you choose, at the time that fits best in your routine"

      1. Schedule your prompts and let Moment remind you when it's time to write.
      2. Schedule your prompts and let Moment remind you when it's time to journal.
      3. Schedule your prompts to help you build your daily journaling habit.

      Blue tile option 1 = Searchable entries

      Blue tile option 2 = Simple tagging & search

      "Include private tags like @julia in your entries to quickly find all occurences"

      1. Use tags like [@goals](/goals) to make searching for entries a breeze.
      2. Include tags like [@goals](/goals) to organize and quickly find entries.

      Green tile = Secure history

      "Reflect back on all your past entries on the secure dashboard"

      1. Review all your journal entries in Moment's secure dashboard.

      2. Purplish-blue tile = Privacy-first

      "No ads. No tracking cookies. Only you can read your entries."

      1. We take privacy seriously. Only you can read your entries. No ads. No tracking cookies. Ever.

      "$5/month or $60$45/year"

      I would make the pricing text a little larger

      1. $5/month or $60 $45/year (that's 3 months free)

      "Try it free for 21 days"

      You can delete this since you say the same thing on the CTA below.

      "Start journaling free for 21 days"

      I like the copy here, tells the user exactly what the action will do. Another variation below.

      1. Start building your journaling habit for free.

      ## Try for free signup page (once CTA is clicked)

      "Enter your email address to configure Moment journal emails"

      1. Start building your journaling habit today. Enter your email address to get started with Moment.
      1. 1

        Incredible feedback. You nailed what I was going for and really took your time on thinking this through. I sincerely appreciate you and will work on incorporating your suggestions!

        1. 1

          Awesome glad you liked my feedback. Look forward to seeing some of the changes on the site.

    2. 2

      Hey Jon, look forward to seeing what I can do to help clarify the value of Moment. I'll reply back as soon as I finish up with the two that are ahead of you in line.

  7. 1

    Thanks Jeff for giving back to community!

    I just launched 24browser.com and I still haven't optimize landing page yet and hopefully you can provide valuable feedback!

    1. 2

      Here you go Peter, hope it helps. Written in Notion in markdown so if it doesn't display properly here copy/pate into a markdown editor or previewer.

      24Browser - Website screenshot API

      ## Goal

      Optimize landing page copy for clarity and readability.

      ## Assumptions

      1. I think the value proposition goes beyond simply "generating screenshots" - there are simple browser extensions and other software that take screenshots well enough - the value of your product is the advanced features and scalability of the API.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Is there are target market/niche that you can focus in on?
      2. Is there a certain size company you are targeting? Self-funded/bootstrapped businesses? Larger enterprises?
      3. Take a look at the 60+ companies you're serving today - what market are they in? What size are they? Who purchased the software? Was it a developer? Marketer?

      ## General note

      On your pricing page on mobile/smaller screen size I would add some left/right arrows to the carousel to make it clear that there are additional plans.

      ## Header & Subhead

      "Website Screenshot API"

      1. Beautiful website screenshots. Powerful API.

      "24Browser helps you automate and scale capture website screenshots easily."

      1. Capture beautifully rendered website screenshots at scale with 24Browser.

      "Get Started for Free"

      I like the first option best here because it mentions the API but wanted to provide a couple of additional options. The concept is to tie the CTA back to the action/outcome, not a vague get started statement.

      1. Start Using the API for Free
      2. Start Capturing Screenshots for Free
      3. Start Taking Screenshots for Free

      "No credit card required"

      Good callout here, no feedback on this.

      Not necessary but could add same copy as you have on other CTAs below

      1. No credit card required, Cancel or upgrade anytime

      ## WHY 24BROWSER section

      I looked at your documentation page and think you have some more relevant features/content buried in there including taking screenshots of specific page elements and injecting custom CSS.

      "WHY 24BROWSER"

      1. WHY 24BROWSER?

      "All You Need to Generate Website Screenshots"

      1. Your

      "Chrome Rendering"

      1. Advanced features and a scalable, reliable platform.
      2. Advanced screen capture features and a scalable, reliable platform.

      "24Browser use Google Chrome to render and generate website screenshots."

      1. Your screenshots are rendered using the most popular browser on the web.
      2. Your screenshots are rendered using the most popular browser on the web with almost 70% of all internet traffic.

      "Powerful API"

      Don't say "powerful API" in this section - show them how by providing information regarding some of the features.

      I would remove this headline and add my suggestions below for the CSS selector and Custom CSS features

      CSS Selectors

      1. Headline = Capture Specific Page Elements
        1. Description = Use CSS selectors to capture specific elements on a page.
      2. Headline 2 = Capture a Specific CSS Selector
        1. Description 2 = Capture specific elements on a page using CSS selectors

      Custom CSS

      1. Headline = Inject Custom CSS
        1. Description = Automatically inject custom CSS and take a screenshot of your custom design
        2. Description 2 = Automatically inject custom CSS and take a screenshot

      "24Browser provide powerful REST API with full customization to generate website screenshots."

      If you don't like my suggestions above, here is an option for this phrase.

      1. Full-featured, secure, & scalable REST API.

      "High Performance"

      I am not sure you need to call this out separately. I recommend combining this with Scalability.

      "24Browser run on powerful machines to provide fast and reliable API service."

      Recommendation for this phrase in case you want to keep it.

      1. Fast and reliable service with XX.XX ms response times and XX.XX% uptime.

      "Scalability"

      1. Scalability & Performance

      "Generate website screenshots with parallel requests."

      1. Run multiple requests in parallel to capture more screenshots in less time.
      2. Run multiple requests in parallel to capture more screenshots in less time. XX.XX ms response times so you can work fast.

      "Automatic Capture Timing"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Generate website screenshot once page is fully loaded."

      1. Ensure sites are fully loaded before you capture a screenshot.

      "Global Present Coming Soon"

      1. Location-based Capture

      "Render and generate website screenshot based on different location."

      1. Render a website based on a visitor's location and automatically capture screenshots.

      In summary, if you take all my suggestions for this section you will have the following "headers" - Rendered using Chrome, Inject Customer CSS, Capture Specific Page Elements, Scalability & Performance, Automatic Capture Timing, Location-based Capture

      "Get Started for Free"

      1. Start Using the API for Free
      2. Start Capturing Screenshots for Free
      3. Start Taking Screenshots for Free

      "Free trial available, No credit card required, Cancel anytime"

      1. No credit card required, Cancel anytime
      2. No credit card required, Cancel or upgrade anytime

      Remove the Free trial available - you are already saying start for free.

      ## PERFECT RENDERING section

      "PERFECT RENDERING"

      First one on this header ties to first one on "check out our sample screenshots" headline below. Second ties to the second one below.

      1. Beautifully Rendered Screenshots
      2. 24Browswer in action

      "Check out our sample screenshots"

      1. See 24Browser in action
      2. Check out our beautifully rendered screenshot samples

      "Get Started for Free"

      1. Start Using the API for Free
      2. Start Capturing Screenshots for Free
      3. Start Taking Screenshots for Free

      "Free trial available, No credit card required, Cancel anytime"

      1. No credit card required, Cancel anytime
      2. No credit card required, Cancel or upgrade anytime

      Remove the Free trial available - you are already saying start for free.

      1. 1

        Wow, thanks for the incredible feedback!

    2. 1

      Hey Peter, glad to give back. You're added to the list. I hope I can provide some valuable feedback as well.

  8. 1

    Damn! Your work for Fast Jam was so awesome.

    strikingdigital.com is the lead-gen SaaS and complete outbound marketing suite currently in the rebuild works. Hope to hear from you and had like to help back as well.

    1. 2

      Here is part 1 of 2. Written in markdown so copy/paste into a markdown previewer for better formatting.

      ## Goal

      Improve overall copy for conversion and readability

      ## Assumptions

      1. Targeting a broad market - no specific niche.
      2. Primary value proposition is focused - to acquire more leads.
      3. User receives access to all software modules/components upon registration into free or paid plans (understand that features are limited on free plan, but still have access to all modules)

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. How can we focus our messaging on outcomes?
      2. How can we emphasize the fact that Striking Digital is a one-stop shop? Customers don't need to buy 10 different point solutions - can buy Striking Digital and have it all.

      ## Heading & Subhead

      I tend not to like the phrase "best" as it is subjective and kind of squishy - meaning it could mean something different to each person.

      "Best software for lead generation"

      1. All-in-one sales pipeline solution
      2. All-in-one lead gen solution

      "Striking Digital"

      1. Find more high-quality leads & close more deals
      2. Find more leads & close more deals
      3. Find more customers & close more deals
      4. Easily find more leads and grow your business

      "Finding emails to successful sales cadence in minutes. All in one solution."

      1. From lead generation to conversion, our all-in-one solution makes it easy to grow your business.

      "Fill out the form and get access to our suite of marketing tools and products to grow your company, find leads, send emails, create a chatbot and more."

      I would remove this paragraph. You already make it clear that customers can sign up for a free plan in the card on the right side (when viewed on desktop) and you don't need to try and explain all of your features above the fold on the page.

      ### Header CTA Card

      "Register below!"

      I don't think you need the separate header on the signup card but I have included a suggestion below. Tie it back to the value prop. People don't want to register, they want to find more customers.

      1. Find more leads today!

      "Try the free version before you buy, start your trial now."

      Assuming that no credit card is required for free trial since I can sign up in one step on the landing.

      1. Start finding new customers with our free trial. No credit card required.

      "Sign up for free"

      Again, people don't want to sign up - they want to get the outcome you're promising.

      1. Find leads for free
      2. Find customers for free
      3. Grow your business for free
      4. Grow your sales pipeline for free

      ## First feature list (gem icons)

      "A Suite Of Marketing And Lead Generation Products"

      1. All-in-one Lead Generation & Marketing Tools
      2. End-to-end Lead Generation & Marketing Tools

      "Our package includes a range of lead generation tools that you can use to grow your company."

      1. Striking Digital is a full suite of lead generation tools that helps you identify leads, send customized sales emails, and close deals

      "Get More Leads And Customers"

      1. Get More Leads & Close More Deals
      2. Fill Your Sales Pipeline

      "All our tools are oriented to drive new leads and customers to your company to make it grow."

      1. Our tools are focused on helping you capture new leads and customers so you can grow your business.

      "Unlimited Access To All Products"

      1. Never Pay Per Lead Again

      "Growth without limits. We offer unlimited access to all the software. Yes, no limits! You do not have to pay per lead anymore!"

      1. We offer unlimited access to our solution for one simple monthly payment. With Striking Digital, never pay per lead again.

      ## What is included in the suite?

      "What is included in the suite?"

      1. How do we help you grow your business?
      2. What's in our all-in-one platform?
      3. Reimagine your lead generation process
      4. Reimagine your sales pipeline
      5. Your revenue growth starts with Striking Digital.

      "Enrichment Data Software To Find New Leads (Emails)"

      1. Find email leads by company

      "Find leads from a list of companies. You will be able to get leads from a list of companies or domains. Perfect for B2B companies, Sales and Growth Hackers. The best enrich software to find leads. Ideal for generating leads to prospect them by cold email. Find business emails and leads information. Export leads directly to Excel with business data."

      1. Simply input a company name or domain and you'll get an up-to-date list of business email addresses.

      "Email, Phone & Social Media Extractor From A List Of Websites"

      1. Find Phone Numbers & Social Media Profiles

      "You can upload a list of domains and extracts emails, social media URLs, and usernames (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), phone numbers on all pages of each website. A report is available to download as Excel once all the emails are extracted. This is the best solution to extract all emails from a list of websites (companies)."

      1. Find phone numbers & social media profiles associated with any business name or domain.

      "Find Emails From First Name, Last Name And Company Name"

      1. Use name and company data to find email addresses

      "Upload a CSV with first name, last name, and company name (or domain). Once you upload the data, the tool will try to find the email of each contact from the email format (for example, first.last@company.com). Perfect for discovering emails from a list of business data."

      1. Upload a lead's first name, last name, and company name to easily find their email address.

      "Chatbot Solution To Capture And Convert Visitors Into Leads"

      1. Convert website visitors into leads with our chatbot solution.

      "Convert visitors into leads. Automate chat with your visitors and capture data from them. Use our software to install a chatbot and capture information from your visitors. The collected leads information could be sent by email, SMS (mobile number), or directly into a Slack channel."

      1. Use our automated chatbot to engage your website visitors and convert them into leads. With our integrations you can easily send contact information directly to your inbox, Slack channel, or smartphone.

      "Daily Registered Domains With Leads Information"

      1. Be the first to get lead data from newly registered domains.

      "Daily dump of all domains created on the Internet, that means all new companies. You will get around +100K leads from new domains created each day with location, phone numbers, emails, domains, registered date, and more. It's perfect for capturing new companies created on the Internet and generate new leads from it by selling SEO, marketing services, WordPress websites, development or content creation, etc."

      1. You'll receive a daily list containing all domains registered the previous day. Stay ahead of the competition by reaching out to new and growing companies before your competitors even know they exist.

      "Online Review Management To Get More Online Reviews"

      1. Improve your credibility by earning more positive customer reviews

      "Install a simple widget on your websites to increase reviews and have your visitors to write a review about your company and service. It's perfect for any established business or local business to increase its customer reviews. It works with Google, Yelp, and Facebook reviews and helps to increase real organic reviews by driving visitors to the review page."

      1. With our simple widget you can get more happy customers to leave positive reviews on your site.
      2. With our easy-to-install widget, you can get more happy customers to leave positive reviews on your site.

      "Sales Sequence (Cadence) / Newsletter Campaigns With Unlimited Emails To Send"

      1. Create targeted drip campaigns and beautiful sales emails

      "A simple software to create emailing or drip campaigns. Engage customers with newsletters or cold emails by adding your SMTP provider and IMAP. Track opens, clicks, bounce, unsubscribe, replies and create nice emailing campaigns in plain text or HTML. Design striking newsletters or emails with our inbuilt editor."

      1. Move your leads through every phase of the sales cycle by tracking opens, clicks, bounces, unsubscribes, and replies in our user-friendly tool.

      "API To Prevent Fake Emails Registration On Your Service"

      1. Don't waste time following up with fake leads
      2. Ensure fake leads don't clog up your pipeline
      3. Use our API to verify email addresses

      "Each time someone registers to your service, ping this API to verify if the email is correct and not a disposable email to prevent fake registration. This simple step can prevent fraud."

      1. Use our API to verify email addresses to ensure your lead database contains only real, actionable leads.
      2. Use our API to verify email addresses are real and deliverable.
      3. Verify email addresses so your sales team doesn't waste time reaching out to fake and disposable emails.

      "Social Proof Notification Widget To Increase Credibility On Your Website"

      1. Enhance your social proof by showing website visitors live purchase activity

      "Generate and display notifications on your website by installing a widget to show sales and purchase activity messages to your visitors. This will increase your sales and credibility."

      1. Show your website visitors a notification each time a sale is made to increase your credibility and create urgency to sign up and buy.

      "Extract B2B Emails From B2B Social Media And Build Targeted Lists"

      1. Extract emails from LinkedIn and other B2B social media
      2. Extract emails from B2B social media sites

      "Extract emails and contacts from B2B social media. Find new leads in one click and create targeted lists. Our system will help you to find leads based on job title, location, country, industry, and company size."

      1. Easily find leads on B2B social media sites based on job title, location, industry, and company size.

      ## The best marketing suite with Unlimited access!

      You can include the image, but I do not think you need the copy in this section.

      ## The Perfect Toolkit section

      "The Perfect Toolkit to Get More Leads"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Easy to use. Powerful features."

      1. Easy to use, powerful, reliable, and secure.
      2. Easy to use. Powerful features. Reliable platform.

      "It's very simple to use our products, just register and start your trial on each product."

      1. Start generating leads for free today. Upgrade to the Pro plan for unlimited access to all features.

      "Start with our free plan now. Get the Pro plan with Unlimited access to our platform and all the products we offer without any limit."

      If you take the above suggestion, you should remove this paragraph.

      "Register and use it now"

      1. Find leads for free
      2. Find customers for free
      3. Grow your business for free
      4. Grow your sales pipeline for free

      "All online"

      1. Web-based platform

      "Use all the products online Anytime. Anywhere. Compatible with all browsers."

      1. Use our platform on any internet-connected device and on any web browser.

      "Reliable technology stack"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Built on Cloud Infrastructure on top of Global CDNs"

      1. Built on cloud infrastructure with XX.XX% uptime.

      "Grow your business"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Unleash your growth with lead generation, emailing, chatbot, data enrichment, and more.

      1. No feedback here.

      "Unlimited users and team"

      1. Unlimited users.

      "Add your teammates and work seamlessly together on our platform."

      1. Add your teammates and work together seamlessly.
      1. 2

        @Dinakar part 2/2.

        ## Pricing Plans section

        Make sure you are consistently capitalizing Pro plan throughout the site. Doesn't matter if you use lower case or capital, but choose one and stick with it.

        "Get unlimited access to all the features"

        1. Get unlimited access to all features with the Pro plan"

        "Start with the pro plan today and use our fully-fledged platform. No hidden fees. No per-user billing (we hate it)

        1. No hidden fees. No per-user billing. Ever.
        2. No hidden fees. No per user billing (we hate it).

        Remove the (s) on the free plan. Just 1 USER.

        ## Not sure what's better for you section

        You should add the demo call CTA on this part of the page instead of "Start my pro plan" - your visitors should not have to scroll back up to the top of the page to schedule a demo - they should be able to do it right where you are asking them to.

        ## They love us section

        "Over 1,000 business professionals in the world use our products on a daily basis."

        "Every day we help thousands of professionals from these companies to grow with us"

        Remove both of these sentences and replace with below.

        1. We help thousands of professionals grow their businesses every day.

        ## FAQs

        "We're here to help! Common questions and our answers."

        1. We're here to help!

        "What does the package include?"
        "Lead generation, chatbots, review systems for websites, email sender, drip campaign, email verifier, social proof widgets, and many more. When you get our plans, you will get full and unlimited access to all the products. Yes, truly Unlimited features. - With the free plan you can try all of these features but it's limited."

        1. Lead generation, chatbots, review systems for websites, email sender, drip campaigns, email verification, social proof widgets, and many more. You receive access to all products both the free and Pro plans. With the free plan, however, there are usage limits on certain features. With the Pro plan you have unlimited access to all products and features for one low monthly payment.
          **

        "How do we get support after purchase?"
        "24/7 live chat support and email ticket support. In most cases, we'll answer you in minutes. Due to COVID 19 support might take longer than usual."

        1. No feedback.

        "How can I cancel my subscription?"
        "Cancel any time on your dashboard, 1-click. You can also pause and resume your subscription whenever you want."

        1. We offer 1-click cancellation through your Striking Digital dashboard. You can also pause and resume your subscription at any time.

        "Can I really use all the tools?"
        "Yes! Use all our tools. Generate and capture unlimited leads, enjoy unlimited data upload, export unlimited data... You truly get all the features. Use these features to grow your company. Try for free, we'll help you grow."

        1. Yes, on the Pro plan you have unlimited access to all our tools and we want you to use them! Generate and capture unlimited leads, enjoy unlimited data upload, export unlimited data. You truly get all the features with no restrictions. On the free plan you are also able to use all our tools, but we put usage limits in place.
          **

        "How does your pricing plan and billing work?"
        "We believe in transparency. One simple plan for all your needs. Our free plan helps you try the software and gets you started with limited features. — Our pro plan has unlimited features, you will be billed $99 every month (schedule a demo call to get this coupon), you can cancel and re-subscribe any time. As a company with humble beginnings, we know how much our products mean to you and hence a low, flat, competitive price."

        1. We believe in transparency and offer a free trial and one simple paid plan. Our free plan allows you to try all our products with certain usage limitations. Our Pro plan gives you access to unlimited features for $149 per month. If you schedule a demo call, you can get the Pro plan for just $99 per month. You can cancel and resubscribe at any time. As a company with humble beginnings, we know how important straightforward billing and affordable software is to help your business grow. That's why we offer unlimited access to Striking Digital at a flat, competitive price.

        ## Start your pro plan now! section

        "Start your pro plan now!"

        1. Start generating leads today!
        2. Start your Pro plan today!

        "Or sign up for the free plan, no risk, no commitments."

        "Don't let this offer pass in front of your eyes. Signing up takes 2 minutes."

        I recommend deleting these two sentences and just including the header above and the CTA

        "Sign up"

        1. Start finding leads now
        2. Start finding leads today
        3. Start finding new customers now
        4. Start finding new customers today
        5. Grow your business today
        6. Grow your sales pipeline today
        1. 1

          Where's the button to give you more upvotes? I have hit the max..

          1. 1

            Haha we'll have to message Courtland on that one. Really appreciate the shout out and follow on twitter.

    2. 2

      Hey Dinakar, thanks for the kind feedback. You're up next!

  9. 1

    Hey Jeff, thanks for offering this! I have struggled quite a bit to optimize the text on my landing page for ChromeExtensionKit, so I would love to hear any thoughts on parts of the landing page copy.

    1. 2

      Hey Ryan. Happy to (hopefully) help. I do want to call out the fact that I am moderately technical, but definitely not a developer, so please forgive if I get any of the details wrong in my feedback.

      ## Goal

      Optimize landing page copy for conversion

      ## Assumptions

      1. Technical audience
      2. Indie hacker/self-funded developers

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. Are your customers getting more value from the starter templates or from the tips/advice? Are there any particular features or templates that your customers have highlighted as especially useful?
      2. Is there a certain level of developer you see primarily purchasing the product? Is there value for an advanced developer or is this geared more toward intermediate level?
      3. Might it be worth it to split the ebook into two - one for documentation and one for the publishing tips & audience growth tips? I obviously haven't seen the content but something that kept coming to mind as I worked on the copy.
      4. Have you identified any competitors? What is their positioning?

      ## Heading & Subhead

      It seems to me you have a couple different value propositions that you could highlight. The first is increasing speed of development. The second is to provide clean & simple set up code so users don't have to go through the struggle to get their environment and everything setup. The third is related to the ebook which includes documentation and grwoth tips (though that definitely seems secondary right now, this seems like it could be really valuable for someone new to the platform).

      "Chrome Extension Development, Simplified."

      The first option is best if you can quantify - time saving is a big reason people spend money on this kind of stuff (in my experience). If you can't get to that data point, rephrasing in a way that puts the outcome first - in my view, the point is not to have the development simplified (that is a means to an end) but to get their extension in market faster, have it work better than without ChromExtensionKit, etc.

      1. Save [X] hours on your Chrome Extension Development
      2. Launch your next Chrome Extension Faster
      3. Ship your next Chrome Extension Faster

      "Jump-start your Chrome extension projects with a variety of battle-tested starter templates and grow your audience with proven tips and actionable advice."

      1. You want to build your Chrome extension, not spend time setting up manifests and environments. ChromeExtensionKit takes care of the annoying stuff for you so you can start building and ship faster.
      2. You want to build your Chrome extension, not spend time setting up manifests and environments. ChromeExtensionKit takes care of the annoying stuff for you so you can jump-start your next project and launch faster.
      3. Jump-start your Chrome extension projects with starter templates & scripts that will save you X hours.

      ## Buy Now CTA

      On the Buy Now CTA may change to clearly call out that you are giving lifetime access

      "Buy Now"

      1. Get Lifetime Access Now

      "Buy once, get updates free, forever."

      Nothing really wrong with this but I would rephrase a little bit.

      1. Buy once and get free updates. Forever.
      2. Buy once and get free updates forever.

      ## The Kit

      One comment outside of the copy that I feel compelled to make is that I think it may serve you better to pull the "Features" section above the "The Kit" section. This is due to my belief that people are far more interested in understanding how it helps them before they learn the specifics. You can hook them with "saves you hours of work" then show them what's included in the package and prove out that value prop.

      "The Kit"

      "What's included?"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Everything you need to make extension development a breeze"

      1. Everything you need to simplify your extension development & learn how to publish like a pro.

      "7 Basic (HTML/CSS/JS) Starter Templates"

      1. 7 HTML/CSS/JS Starter Templates

      "Starter project files and manifest built out with basic HTML, CSS, and JS. Starter types include content scripts, context menu, browser actions, new tab overrides, browser storage, and more."

      If you think it is important to include the specific starter types here feel free - I'm not an expert on this subject to say whether that's important to your customers to see up front but I removed them to focus more on the value add.

      1. A full suite of starter project files and manifest built with HTML, CSS, and JS. Never waste time setting up your extension project again.

      "8 React Starter Templates With Utility Scripts"

      1. No feedback here.

      "Starter project files and manifest built out with React. Also includes scripts for a local dev environment and to automatically build / ZIP your extension for easy publishing to the web store.

      1. A full suite of starter project files and manifest built with React. Set up your project in minutes and use the included scripts to publish your extension in no time.

      "4 Fully Functional Example Extensions"

      1. Source Code for 4 Published Example Extensions

      "Source code of three fully functional and feature complete Chrome extensions, including extensions currently live in the web store with thousands of active users."

      This paragraph says 3 examples but the header says 4 - just make sure those are in line.

      1. Learn from the code for fully functional extensions with thousands of active users.

      "Ebook with Publishing and Growth Tips"

      1. Publishing and Audience Building Guides

      "Explains how to use the kit and the example extensions, a guide on prepping your extension for production and publishing to the web store, and tips and tricks on growing your extension."

      1. You'll receive an ebook that includes kit documentation, a step-by-step guide to publishing your extension, and a guide that will teach you how to grow your audience.

      ## Features

      As a general rule, I am going to try and rephrase each headline in terms of the benefit or outcome rather than the "thing" itself.

      "Why is it useful?

      1. Just build.
      2. Start building. Now.
      3. Save time, ship faster, and learn from the pros.

      "No config, no setup, no hassle."

      What you have currently isn't bad at all if you're attached to that phrasing, but I think it is better to make it a bit more concrete and tied to the value proposition.

      1. Never waste time with configuration & setup again.

      "Easy to Use and Navigate"

      If you use jump-start in the header/sub-header I don't think I'd use the same phrase again here so I've provided two examples/options (one with one without)

      1. Jump-start Your Project
      2. Easy Config & Setup
      3. Hassle-free Setup

      "All contents of the kit are organized by type and each extension includes a README explaining how to use it and extend it. The included Ebook also has a section explaining more in-depth."

      1. Each component includes a README and in-depth documentation.

      "Time-Saving Utility Scripts"

      If you have a number (that is worth putting on your page) then it might help to include here. Again, people like when things are quantified.

      1. [X] Time-Saving Utility Scripts

      "Includes scripts that spin up React development environments with auto-refresh, scripts that auto-bundle required extension files for publishing, scripts to lint and prettify your code, and more."

      1. Easily spin up React development environments, auto-bundle files for publishing, lint and prettify your code, and more.

      "Unopinionated Starter Templates"

      1. No feedback here.

      "All starter templates are unopinionated, meaning they are setup so that you can quickly grab one and start developing without needing to remove a bunch of unnecessary boilerplate first."

      1. Just grab a template and start developing. You won't have to waste time removing boilerplate code.

      "Fully Functional Example Extensions"

      1. No feedback here.

      "All example extensions are fully functional and feature complete so you can easily see how things are done or get inspiration on how to tackle something in your own extension."

      1. See how an extension functions end-to-end, find inspiration, and learn how to solve problems in your own project.

      "Growth Tips & Tricks Ebook"

      1. Publishing & Audience Building Guide

      "In addition to instructions on how to use the kit, the ebook includes guides on how to prepare your extension for publishing, how to publish it to the store, and tips on growing your audience."

      1. Full kit documentation, a step-by-step extension publishing guide, and tips on how to grow your audience from Chrome Extension veterans.
      2. Full kit documentation, a step-by-step extension publishing guide, and tips on how to grow your audience.

      You'll receive an ebook that includes kit documentation, a step-by-step guide to publishing your extension, and a guide that will teach you how to grow your audience.

      ## FAQs

      "What level of experience is needed for this kit?"

      "None! You can get value out of this get whether you're a total beginner making their first extension or a seasoned pro who wants to save time. It is recommended however that you have at least a bit of knowledge around HTML, CSS, and JS."

      Some minor changes and possibly some grammatical stuff that you likely don't care about but here you go.

      1. None! You can get value out of the kit if you're a total beginner making your first extension or a seasoned pro who wants to save time. It is recommended, however, that you have a bit of knowledge in HTML, CSS, and JS.

      "What exactly is a "starter template" in this kit?"

      1. No feedback here.

      "All starter templates in this kit are functioning Chrome extensions by themselves and have some degree of placeholder content out of the box. The base files, config, and extension manifests are setup such that you can just grab a starter and start building right away. No config, no setup, no hassle. For example, if you selected a new tab override starter template and loaded it up, you'd see the following default placeholder page out of the box when opening a new tab in Chrome: For the above extension example, the starter files would look like:"

      1. All starter templates in this kit are functioning Chrome extensions by themselves and include some degree of placeholder content. The base files, config, and extension manifests are setup so you can start building right away without having to delete boilerplate code. For example, if you select a new tab override starter template and load it, you will see the following default placeholder page when opening a new tab in Chrome: <img> For the above extension example, the starter files look like: <img>

      "What exactly is included in the ebook?"

      "The ebook has the following chapters:1. Introduction2. Choosing a Starter Template3. Example Extensions4. Getting Production Ready5. Publishing Your Extension6. Gaining Traction7. Understanding Extension Stats"

      If the Chapter 2 "Choosing a Starter Template" chapter includes the more in-depth documentation referenced earlier you may want to call that out. Technical people (as I'm sure you know) love documentation.

      "Can I use the kit for any project?"

      "Absolutely. You can use the kit for all your extension projects and as much as you want, both personal and commercial. The only limitation is you cannot resell the kit itself or use the contents to sell a similar kit."

      1. Absolutely. You can use the kit for all your extension projects, both personal and commercial. Please note that you cannot resell the kit itself or any of its components.

      "What are the basic starter templates in the kit?"

      1. What are the HTML/CSS/JS starter templates in the kit?

      "The 7 basic starter templates are: content scripts starter, context menu starter, browser action starter (full page), browser action starter (popup), browser action starter (popup and full page), new tab override starter, and Chrome API starter (Chrome sync storage)."

      1. 2

        Hit the post length limit... here's the rest.

        PS I wrote this in markdown so if you copy/paste it elsewhere it should look better formatting wise.

        "What are the React starter templates in the kit?"

        1. No feedback here.

        "The 8 React starter templates are: browser action starter (popup and full page), browser action starter (popup), TypeScript browser action starter (popup), browser action starter (full page), new tab override starter, data fetching starter, Chrome storage starter (Chrome API), and a fully loaded React starter (React, React Router, and Tailwind CSS).All React starters also come with scripts to spin up development environments as well as scripts to build and package your extension for publish."

        1. The 8 React starter templates are:
          1. Browser action starter (popup)
          2. Browser action starter (full page)
          3. Browser action starter (popup & full page)
          4. TypeScript browser action starter (popup)
          5. New tab override starter
          6. Data fetching starter
          7. Chrome storage starter (Chrome API)
          8. Fully loaded React starter (React, React Router, & Tailwind CSS)

        "What are the example extensions in the kit?"

        1. No feedback here.

        "The example extensions included in the kit are: Welcome – New Tab Page (new tab override with background image and time shown), Password Generator (popup to easily generate passwords based on settings), Search Text (search highlighted text in your preferred search engine), and Day Counter (keep track of life events easily; over 4,000 active users currently)."

        1. The example extensions included in the kit are:
          1. Welcome - New Tab Page (new tab override with background image and time)
          2. Password Generator (popup to easily generate passwords based on specified settings)
          3. Search Text (search highlighted text in your preferred search engine)
          4. Day Counter (easily keep track of life events. Over 4,000 active users)

        "What is the refund policy?"

        1. No feedback here.

        "Within 14 days, if you aren't satisfied with the kit, reach out to Ryan[at]ChromeExtensionKit.com and you'll get a full refund. No questions asked."

        1. Within 14 days of purchase... (rest looks good)
        1. 1

          Wow, thanks so much Jeff! This is incredible. I'm already working on incorporating all this feedback since its a million times better than what I came up with. Thanks again!

          1. 1

            Awesome, I'm happy you liked my suggestions and no problem at all.

  10. 1

    Hey Jeff, thank you for making this!

    I recently launched FastJam and a lot of people here advised me to simplify the copy, make it more readable and easier to understand for non-technical people.

    I'll take any advise you've got!

    I know you are doing this for free, but I'm also running a giveaway and I'll be glad to offer you my services in return.

    1. 2

      @wassim check out my feedback below. I went a little outside of just rewriting/editing the copy but just ignore whatever isn't useful.

      I placed your original text in italics and provided my recommendation(s) in a numbered list. Anything not italicized and not in a numbered list after the questions to ask yourself section is just feedback/my thoughts. Hope it helps.

      ## Goal

      Make the fastjam.dev page more readable and easier to understand for non-technical people.

      ## Assumptions

      1. Non-technical people do not know what jamstack is, nor do they really care.
      2. Non-technical people will focus on the outcome rather than the technology stack that gets them there.

      ## Questions to ask yourself

      1. This ties back to one of my assumptions, but if you are gearing this toward non-technical people or designers who can't code their own page, are your customers really looking for on-demand static site development? Do they care whether the site is static or built with a different architecture? Or are they simply looking for a beautiful, fast, easy to maintain site build quickly and at an affordable price?
      2. Currently, the way you have your product positioned it is actually targeting people who are capable of (or have outsourced) using Figma/Sketch/Zeplin to build out their own designs.
      3. Who are your competitors? How do they market?

      ## Headline & Subhead

      ### Headline recommendations

      On-demand front-end/static site/Jamstack development

      1. Your landing page/portfolio/web app designs brought to life
      2. We bring your landing page/portfolio/web app designs to life

      ### Subhead recommendations

      "You send us your design files in Sketch, Figma, or Zeplin, and we will turn them into a fast-loading mobile-first, static site."

      1. We turn your design files into beautiful, fast-loading, mobile-first sites using the cutting edge static JAMstack architecture.
      2. We turn your design files into beautiful dynamic sites and web apps.

      I would insert icons of supported design file types below the subhead. If you are targeting designers or people that have had the site designed already, it will be important that they have the proper format.

      I think you can also remove the "Headless CMS" and "Data" sections. Again, this points back to the fact that if you are truly marketing to non-technical people or non-technical designers this information is likely not be relevant at this point in the process. The page speed section piece, however, may be worth keeping.

      "Good for landing pages, portfolios, and startup sites"

      Remove the "good for xyz" line since that is now covered in the headline.

      "Fixed fee per page, you know what you pay up in advance"

      1. Fixed prices mean no surprise fees. You'll know what you're paying up front.

      "No missing deadlines, get your design coded in no time"

      1. No long development timelines. Get your designs coded fast.

      ## Sites with Benefits Section

      Again, the question arises, do you want to highlight the fact that you use JAMstack, or do you want to simply highlight the benefits of JAMstack without making that front-and-center in your marketing?

      I am non-technical, but understand what JAMstack is - I see the importance of explaining this architecture, but they want to hear the outcomes, not the underlying tech.

      "Sites with Benefits"

      1. Why use FastJam?

      I'd also use the larger purple header text here

      "We use the power of Jamstack to ship performant websites and better web experiences to our customers"

      Put the value up front, not the technology.

      1. We ship fast, reliable websites to give you and your visitors the best experience. Our sites are built using the Jamstack framework.

      ### Better performance

      "Better performance"

      1. Fast load times

      "Static site means no more time-consuming database queries. You get a better UX and a faster site, even up to 10x."

      1. FastJam sites have an average load time of [X ms] per page. That means a better experience for your visitors.
      2. FastJam sites load fast. Really fast. That means a better experience for your visitors.

      ### Higher rankings

      "It's difficult to compete with the Jamstack architecture. You will outrank your competitors in search engines results pages (SERP)."

      1. Better performance means better rankings in search engines results pages (SERPs). FastJam sites make it easier for your audience to find you.

      ### More secure

      "With static sites, there is no server-side and database operations. No need to worry about vulnerabilities anymore."

      This one is a bit more difficult to simplify for non-technical readers but here's my attempt.

      1. FastJam sites do not reach out to third-party servers to display your content which makes them significantly less vulnerable to attacks.

      ### Less expensive

      "With less complex development process and maintenance fees, cost is an obvious win. Also, hosting of static files is cheap or even free."

      1. We are able to charge an affordable flat rate for each page because our sites don't require complex development processes or hosting fees. In fact, there are several providers that will host your site for free.

      ### Easier to scale

      "Your product goes viral? No need to worry about downtime and slow performance. The CDN will seamlessly compensates."

      1. Your product or site going viral should never be a bad thing. With FastJam, there is no need to worry about your site going down because there is too much traffic.

      ### More reliable

      Static sites delivered via CDNs, without complex server applications and databases, resulting in a very stable architecture.

      1. There are no complex server applications or databases powering FastJam sites. That means your site has fewer failure points and is far more reliable than a traditional site.

      ## Serverless functions integration

      Your target market likely doesn't know what "serverless functions integration" means.

      "Serverless functions integration"

      1. I would remove the small blue text headline with this phrase.

      "Static doesn't mean stale"

      How this headline is changed depends on whether you reference static sites in the other copy. I would also pull this section higher on the page - I think a large percentage of people will want a site that includes at minimum, a form or payments, so this is important.

      I do not mind the headline as is, but here is another option.

      1. The features you need, fast

      "We can add dynamic functionalities to your static site. Forms, comments, payment gateways, database queries, API queries, you name it. By leveraging serverless functions, we will turn you static site into dynamic application, with rich experiences."

      1. We can add forms, comments, payments, database queries, API queries, and more to turn your site into a dynamic application with rich experiences.

      ## FAQs

      "What is JAMstack?"

      1. What is JAMstack and what is a static site?

      "By definition, JAMstack is an alternative approach for building websites - the JAM here stands for JavaScript, APIs, and Markdown. For you, it means faster websites with better SEO ranking and happier users overall."

      1. JAMstack is an alternative approach to building websites. JAM stands for JavaScript, APIs, and Markdown. For you, it means faster websites, better SEO, and happier users.

      A couple of minor grammar notes in the other FAQs

      1. In "How fast will I get my coded website," change the word "in" to "on" when you say "We work on projects on a first-come, first-served basis.
      2. In the "How can I check the progress..." section, delete the word "a" in the sentence so it reads "You will receive private access.." - it is not needed.
      3. In the "If I have a blog" question, remove the word "So" from the second sentence so it reads "If you have..."

      ## On-Demand Front-End Developers section at the bottom

      "Ready to join the Jamstack revolution?"

      This can be rephrased to better communicate the value - again, if you're targeting "non-technical" people, they don't care about or necessarily want to join the Jamstack revolution, they just want to have a beautiful, fast, reliable, cheap site.

      1. Ready to bring your designs to life?
      2. Ready to build your fast, reliable site?

      ## Start a project page

      "Start a JAMstack project"

      1. Start a FastJam project
      1. 1

        Dude you went over all my copy 😱 this is insanely helpful. Thank you man 🙏

        1. 1

          Any time. Hope it helps you reframe a little and better target those non-technical people.

    2. 2

      Hey Wassim, thanks for responding. I will take a look and send you my feedback soon. Also appreciate the offer!

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