March 1, 2019

You know, on the surface I look like a cold guy.

Francois Lanthier Nadeau @thefln

"You know, on the surface I look like a cold guy. I always dress in black, got tattoos. I look confident. But if you dig below the surface you realize that there's all these insecurities, and pains, and traumas, and mental illness and shit. I lost my father when I was 11 and a half years old. It was a suicide. He broke up with my mom and killed himself. And that just fucked me up for at least a whole decade. I used this suffering as an excuse to be an asshole too many times as I got older. At one point, I was working remotely in Southeast Asia, and trying to convince myself that I was this lone wolf, bad boy, baller. It didn't work. I came down with this big depression. I was swinging between these very dark thoughts, or full blown panic attacks. It was draining all the life energy I had. I just came to my business partners and said, 'You know, guys, I'm not well.' I was crying. 'I'm sorry I'm letting you down. I don't know how to deal with this shit, but I need help.' And they said, 'You know what, Franck? Take all the time you need. The business, and all of us, will be there when you come back.' I went to a seven week therapy program. I still see my therapist regularly. Breaking down and asking for help was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's when you manage to incorporate that pain, and that trauma into your narrative and turn it into something positive...this is the best thing in the world."

  1. 2

    Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage! I am also glad you are doing better now. Wish you all the best!

    1. 1

      Thank you! 🙇

  2. 2

    Belle histoire Francois! Couldn't have been easy to share this story, lots of emotions, challenges and roadblocks faced. Glad you came out of it a better man and are on the road to building something fantastic. Love your product!

    Shout out from Montreal, Qc. :)

    1. 1

      Thank you so much! Trying to build better selves and better products seems like a life well lived!

  3. 2

    Your story and description are interesting . I think there is a lot more of this out there and therapy is scary and can be expensive and taboo, and hard to find someone who you connect with. Seems so much work. I wish getting therapy was simpler, cheaper, more common. There are a lot of us broken people out here. Thanks for sharing your story - I resonated with 'I look like a cold guy' - people tell me I don't look approachable sometimes...

    1. 1

      I've seen a tweet saying mental health and therapy products might have a boom in our industry, maybe some Indie Hackers will address some of the pains of therapy you mentioned!

  4. 2

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm very happy to hear you reached out for help. Therapy is quite amazing and something I attend regularly myself. Glad you are doing better!

    1. 1

      Therapy is my checkpoint. Really helps with structuring when you're the anxious type.

  5. 1

    Thank you, man. It's always great to hear from people who came through all the shit you came through. From the personal experience I can add- don't be afraid or ashamed or whatever to use medication. Probably I owe my life to valium and I'd recommend it to everybody who struggles with the same problem. You don't even have to spend much money on it.Just check here https://worldpharm365.com/product/valium-for-sale-diazepam-5mg/