Landing Page Feedback April 10, 2020

I'll Rewrite Your Website

Ben Bernstein @Bcbernstein

Show me your site and I'll suggest a new top line - one that speaks boldly to your users' pain and makes them want more.

Edit: Here's the documentation based off all your replies :) https://www.bencbernstein.com/2020/04/how-to-write-a-perfect-landing-page/

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      impressive product!

      who are your happiest users? what do they love about versoly that they cannot live without? if they're not there already, put those words right at the top.
      Shuhaid is buried - also, I want to hear more emotion from him. i want Shuhaid to become your unpaid marketing team.

      i want more stories of happy customers. show me the people whose lives versoly have changed. make it about them, not the product.

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    Looking forward to your response!

    https://remoteleaf.com

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      haha i love your pricing :D

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        ha, is it sarcastic comment? :) I'm actually started exploring the different pricing before I decide one. Would like to know what are your thoughts on my pricing, any feedback?

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          haha no, it is a compliment, shows that you really understand how incentive curves work.

          Its great, it is incentivising the user to gravitate toward the $40 mark. Your pricing is on point, only i would say change it to less rounded numbers like $19, $39 etc.

          My primary feedback would be on your landing page. You're catering to something people are really emotional about, Jobs and remote jobs at that, but your copy doesn't speak to my emotions.

          It just feels like a bunch of features and what you do. I would say talk about how it would help me.

          An example: Instead of saying -
          "We search the entire internet and hand-pick thousands of remote jobs, so you don’t have to"

          Say

          "Finding a remote job can be challenging, So we do it for you !" ( this is not perfect just an example )

          and instead of saying

          "We aggregate remote jobs from popular remote job boards, company career pages, Linkedin, Reddit, Facebook, Hacker News Hiring. If there are remote jobs in tech, we will find them"

          We literally handpick the best remote jobs in your field from all the job portals and deliver it straight to your inbox. ( Something along these lines )

          Maybe have a graphic that has all the company logos and shows an arrow or funnel going toward an inbox.

          I would really work on your landing page, its a great product, If you sell it right.

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            Hello Naman, This is just wow. Thank you so much for your valuable ideas.
            I'm going to try similar sentences as you suggested. Can I ping you once I've come up with some examples to get your feedback?

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              Absolutely. Happy to help :)

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                Thank you 🙏

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      I like this a lot. "Online tarot card reading. Emailed to you within 48 hours" is intriguing.

      Can you remind me of the results of Tarot right away instead of just describe it? One idea: "The life clarifying power of tarot emailed to you within 48 hours."

      Theology graduate - so cool. How can you frame yourself more as an expert, as or at least a poet? What can you teach me right away?

      I'm curious who your customers are and what they have in common. Do they ask similar questions and can you show the answers? How can you make me feel part of a community?

      1. 1

        Thank you very much for your time.
        The customers range in age/geo. The only common feature that I have identified so far is that around 90% are asking about love and relationships. This made me rethink the content topics and put all the little time I have into writing about tarot for love and relationship to answer the most common questions.

        1. 1

          It doesn't necessarily need to be your home page, but if 90% are about love and relationships, go all in on that somewhere. What are the stories of love and relationship clarity you've created? What do your customers say about love and relationships and timelytarot? How would they teach and describe your methods?

  2. 3

    https://www.octobook.io/

    Should be releasing in a few weeks :)

    1. 2

      Nice! I've subscribed, let's see what it looks like :) Also, really loved the design

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        Thanks @vlan! I'll make sure to keep you updated :)

    2. 1

      This is an exciting space and one I'm personally interested in. Cohesive and clear design make me willing to trust you enough with my email.

      There are a lot of questions and tactics to think about copy and how to present yourself moving forward. Here are some firestarters to journal and conversate on:

      What is your innovation? "We send you periodic emails of notes you've taken for your books so you don't forget what you read last week!" <- I haven't seen that before. Reminder systems of notes are interesting.

      If you were giving a seminar in front of 100 potential users:
      - What would these users have in common?
      - What are the three things you'd want them to say that would get them to sign up for Octobook
      - What is the feature or value you think they would pay $100 or more for?

      I would start there. Let me know your answers - I'm also interested in having a further conversation.

      1. 1

        Thanks for taking the time!

        I definitely agree that the hero area up top should more focus on what Octobook does differently. I'll mix in more about the periodic emails and note taking features there.

        To answer your questions in short,

        • I expect that something these people have in common is a true desire to read and learn and self improve any personal or professional aspect of themselves.

        • To quote my imaginary audience :),

        1. "I can always revisit my key notes for a book, even months after I've finished reading the book. I can send links to my notes to close friends and family to share with them something I think they'll find interesting."
        2. "I can see over time if I'm getting better at reading and if I'm retaining my knowledge better! I'll know more about my reading habits."
        3. "I'll always know what books I have in the house or at the office, and how much progress I've made reading them."
          I hope I understood this question correctly.

        -I have an upcoming feature that introduces a quizzing aspect to the app. I think will have great use cases that provide value worth that amount, especially in an academic setting.

        Those would be my answers for now, but I'll definitely be thinking more about them...

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          Yes, you're thinking about good things here. Dipping into product mentorship for a second, I'll remind to you VALIDATE BEFORE YOU BUILD. Don't build anything until you have a crowd of people you think are dying for it. It seems like you have a lot of hypothetical value propositions. One will be much more important to your users than others in the beginning.

          That's a good hypothesis - people come to octobook because they are dying to learn and self-improve. I don't see anything that speaks to this at the top of your website right now. If that's your conviction, make sure it's explicit at the top and then test it.

          More questions for you to think on:

          If you had a week of development left, what is the only feature you'd build for your audience?
          If you were in an elevator with your ideal user, what questions would you ask them ?
          Who are the kinds of readers you think are unlikely to like Octobook?

  3. 3

    Bettersheets.co

    I can make your google sheets better... but not your copywriting.

    1. 1

      I LOVE the idiomatic color and humor and the optimism.

      The transformational value is hidden.

      QUESTIONS THAT CREATE COPY:
      What's my life look like when I become a Google Sheet master with you? What's possible? What are 1-3 small little tricks I can read right here that would make me forward this page to other people? What can you tell me that makes $30 seem like a steal, or what else do I need to know to get there to make an obvious purchase?

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        re: Life
        Better control your sheet => Better control your business.
        Better Data => Better Internal Communcation
        Better Data Analysis Skills => More action you can take to improve your business.

        re: Steal
        I got a $75,000 a year job doing data management... and all I used was google sheets.
        Create Task Managers in Google Sheets => Save $99 a year from buying monday.com

        re: Tricks
        You can create searchable databases, with autofill search fields. In a google sheet. Just using data validation feature.
        Create branded sheets by coloring cells with your company's colors.
        Programmers would know this: Create complex IF/ELSE statements or basically MAP data structure with the IFS() formula.

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          ok we're starting to get to the good stuff that belongs front and center:

          re:life
          this is good but still vague. if you can quantify these with numbers or stories, do so. the picture has to be painted or leave it out

          re:Steal
          YES, BINGO: You got paid $75,000/year to do this and you're offering it to me for $30. I'm interested. Paint this picture. Tell this amazing story.

          re: Tricks
          getting close, how can you illustrate these? can you side by side a fancy searchable DB with your tactic?
          branded sheets - cool. something like a before and after for a cool company, or even a demo?
          programmers- right. make it clear for them! maybe a "for programmers" section.

          I'm curious about many more things here - let me know if you'd like to continue talking.

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            Better Tricks
            ---------------
            Change font color to: #444444, Your eyes will thank you.
            Change cell color to #fbfbf8 to make it easier on your eyes to stare at number for 10 hours a day.
            Look at this example sheet I made
            Watch this Video

            Happy to talk to anyone who is curious!

  4. 2

    https://dorik.io - Single Page Website Builder

    We have built the homepage to get beta testers for our website builder.

    Let me know your feedback. :)

    Thanks.

  5. 2

    simplefunnel.io

    Releasing soon

  6. 2

    Hey Ben,
    I am launching a redesigning for Colors and Fonts including the newsletter.

    This is the actual line.

    • A curated library of colors, fonts and resources for web developers & digital designers.

    The redesign is here this is the new pitch.

    • Speed upyour workflow
      WITH A GROWING COLLECTION OF COLOR AND TYPOGRAPHY TOOLS FOR WEB DEVELOPERS & DIGITAL DESIGNERS.

    I appreciate this a lot. Thank you so much.

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      I like that you address the problem in the first words on your website. That's a big improvement from the first line.

      Can you go further? Eliminate time waste? Supercharge your workflow? Whatever words your customer really wants to use?

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        Do you mean the domain? I was lucky that it wasn't taken.
        I will brainstorm other words, yeah.

        thanks a lot Ben

  7. 2

    love this post Ben, inspiring and I think will be incredibly helpful to alot of people.

    I am hoping to be one of those people: https://leasemagnets.com

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      Amulya, that's sweet of you to say. I'm having fun - IH is a special place and I love starting meaningful conversations like these. They often lead to huge life breakthroughs - I saw one happen this week with the founder of a legal-tech startup I've been coaching.

      This is nice - I like how you guide the narrative all the way through and invite a conversation at the end. The testimonials are powerful. Your niche is specific and real. All good.

      "Let us transform your digital experience. Our one-line snippet of code turns your website into a smart leasing consultant, so you can focus on doing what you do best: closing."

      ^ Are you targeting developers of leasing sites, or property managers as reflected in your testimonials? It seems like both which is going to diminish your conversion rates. If both are users, make the flows clear.

      I have deeper questions for you that pertain to your bigger dream and the passion that this could ignite in your users. You seem to be well on track for the "now", but I want to know - what's the biggest vision here? Are your users part of something greater? What's it mean for their lives and livelihoods? What kind of service are you really providing and how can you create loops that let this flow or even inspire others to join you?

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        @Bcbernstein I am still figuring many of these things out, but I am so grateful for your feedback and advice. Right now we are figuring out who are target customer is. But so far it would primarily marketing managers or property managers. However, I would prefer to target the developer/ regional managers of the site.

        And the second part about the bigger dream, more clearly I see the vision of transitioning and empowering your leasing team with a way to personally touch your digital visitors in a way that was never possible before.

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          What process are you using to figure out your target customer? This should involve little/no code and take a short amount of time.

          That's cool but it's vague. What difference do you want to make in their lives? What does leasemagnets make possible for them? What is the core inefficiency here? This needs to be clarified and messaged.

  8. 2

    https://scooget.com
    Appreciate your feedback thanks!

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      Love this idea, original and fresh! Very timely in the new era of work from home. I told my sister sitting next to me about this and she said "hm!".

      Some design things:

      The top pane looks small and smooshed. Don't hate it necessarily but struck me as weird. Picture are slow to load too on my internet.

      I really like the idea but the UI had a few unintuitive things for me. I wish the tagged full image was more apparent immediately

      Copy: It seems like it's in here, but it's disorganized and the value propositions are everywhere. It's unclear exactly who you're speaking to and what you want them to do.

      The seminar exercise would help you here as a way to refresh. If you were giving a presentation to 100 potential Scooget users, how would you structure that presentation, as simply as possible? This conversational format forms the skeleton for your marketing page.

      If that kind of refresh feels too daunting (although you should do it), take one of your most passionate users and ask them to describe scooget as if you were a friend. That'll jump start some clarity.

      There are a few other questions I have for you, but tell me first where those get you.

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        Many thanks Ben! Your feedback is very much appreciated and I concur with you that the banner looks quite messy and piecemeal. It's been on my Todo list but will now be moved right to the top.

        For the tagged image, you do mean to make them bigger?

        The copy does feel somewhat schizo as my audience consists of two distinct groups - enthusiasts and content creators, and I've a pretty hard time trying to convey the right message to each target group. Your analysis is spot on. Thanks once again.

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          There are good methods to reach both audiences - it's a mistake I see commonly... I'm going to blog about it. When you have multiple audiences, separate the stories. We can talk more about that if you like, it can be a difficult thing to do.

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      sweet and crazy icon. timely space.

      with so many remote job websites, MAKE IT CLEAR WHY YOU'RE DIFFERENT. what do you specialize in? what do you do that others don't? why are you personally doing this? what's your secret story?

      put another way: if i'm looking for a remote job and have a list of 100 remote job boards in front of me, tell me succinctly why i go to you.

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        That's something I'm still working on and figuring out. Trying to use my main profession and build a creative brand as a visual designer, and also as a polymath, with broad skills and interests, I try to curate information and inspiration around the brand, started already with a newsletter.

        Publishing as weekly editions, you can read the last one here.

        All the job boards are trying to compete with each other with a high speed, indexing all the jobs, no matter what the company is and how is their structure, or culture. And most of them will vanish, time will handle this. So I don't have any plans on this quick race, my goal is to create a long-lasting database, a reliable source and partner in the long run, support the evolution of work. And when this noise is over, Remote Jobs Center will be among the standing ones.

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          I was drawn in right away with your newsletter quote, I just subscribed.

          I love get rich slow schemes. I'd think about how to show that dedication more clearly, let that distinguish you. Maybe a newsletter excerpt or top quote on your front page. Maybe a forum. I want to feel that conviction more, it's inspiring. How can you show it?

  9. 2

    Oh, I would really appreciate this! I'm struggling with two different landing pages for my site. Each offer a different product around the board game space.

    Thank you!

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      interesting and timely, i'll share with my gaming community

      REMOTE: "Stuck at home practicing social distancing? You can still play your favorite games with friends." <- i love this. how can you expand it? what does this mean? what stories are happening on wetabletop right now? What is it creating during this crisis? How can you take these magical things and put them front and center on the page?

      JOURNALS: i like the journal entry idea a lot but i don't feel part of it. how can they be made more enticing? how can i as a naive/non user want to participate, get excited, be part of this?

  10. 2

    https://storyix.com/

    Not great at copy writing. So any suggestion is greatly appreicated.

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      I like that your testimonials are right at the top. But make them clearer and easier and focus on the pain you solved.

      for example, quote Demir and ask him if you can reframe it so it's something like "Storyix is the easiest and most creative web shop I've ever worked with"

      ask each customer what the pain is, quote your solution in bigger font, make a "read more" to see their full story.

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        Thanks Ben! Scheduled a meeting with you. Looking forward to chatting more.

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          excited to talk more!

  11. 1

    https://zipboard.co/ Planning a redesign, so this will be helpful :)

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      "better bug tracking" doesn't seem strong in a market this crowded. what's your bug tracking do that others do not? find that really specific bug tracking pain and speak to it right at the top. everything should trickle down from that.

  12. 1

    https://packbrand.co

    Looking forward to it!! Thanks in advance!

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      This is good, it's clear what I get right away. You speak to my pain, the solution, and how it works. You could try putting the pain relief higher, "Instantly create stunning packaging for your product without the hassle of photoshop or outsourcing".

      I realize you haven't launched, but add social proof somewhere or something that makes it immediate. "X number of packages created today". "$Y in photoshop saved".

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        Amazing! Thanks for your feedback. Does the feature text seem too wordy or long?

        Social proof suggestion is great. Very clever

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          I like that it's conversational although it's a little redundant. Say it out loud in the mirror and see if you can cut any words without losing the flow.

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      Using the template:

      DIRECT ANSWER TO THEIR PAIN - I don't see this right now.
      DESCRIPTIVE SOLUTION - ORGANICALLY GROWN / PREMIUM GRADE / THC FREE - This is good but kind of blends into literal proof right now.
      LITERAL PROOF - Seems there but somewhat obfuscated in "the rejuvia difference", I need to know quickly what the components of the solution are
      SOCIAL PROOF - Don't see this right now

      One sample format, just riffing here:

      DIRECT ANSWER TO THEIR PAIN - [What you say conversationally to the people who need this the most]
      DESCRIPTIVE SOLUTION - The Highest Quality Hemp Products You Can Buy
      LITERAL PROOF - Maximum Absorption, cGMP Compliant, THC Free, Organically Grown, Batch Tested
      SOCIAL PROOF - One line testimonials above the fold with pictures of their faces from happy customers that I can click on to read more

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    https://www.narro.app/ - Can't wait... I'm actually struggling

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      DIRECT ANSWER TO THEIR PAIN - Dramatically increase your productivity with automation
      DESCRIPTIVE SOLUTION - exactly what narro does, currently unclear
      LITERAL PROOF - unclear
      SOCIAL PROOF - not listed, needs to be there

  14. 1

    Hiya ! https://www.yought.com/

    It's a bit messy imo but would love feedback since I am looking to refine it in the next month or so :D

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      DIRECT ANSWER TO THEIR PAIN - Remove any chance of bias from your survey
      DESCRIPTIVE SOLUTION - AI-boosted surveys for dramatically increased effectiveness
      LITERAL PROOF - condense components to make it easier to read
      SOCIAL PROOF - not listed, needs to be there

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        Love the direct answer liner - will definitely incorporate some of these. Cheers for the feedback :)

  15. 1

    I'm working on https://okjob.io
    It aggregates ALL remote jobs from different sources.

    1. 1

      I like the quick subscribe button but your description you posted is not on the website! Get something good in there.

      1. 1

        What description? Can you please send me the link?

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          "It aggregates ALL remote jobs from different sources."

  16. 1

    Would love your thoughts on leonardoenglish.com

    1. 1

      Interesting. As an edtech founder, I've been in many conversations about this - when you're teaching someone something, don't use generic examples. Use something with useful content. I'm intrigued.

      I like your copy and don't have any major complaints. It takes me on a good journey. "Imagine taking English lessons from your most knowledgeable friend." is strong and I'd test putting that up higher.

      Get photos for your testimonials and more if you can - you can never have too many testimonials.

      I have a lot of questions for you about your business and its trajectory. I'll list a few here:

      == Ecosystem ==

      • How are the podcasts produced and what's the business model around that? Are their opportunities for community support? Why are you doing this and not just curating?
      • Who is wild about this right now and what do they have in common?

      == Vision ==

      • Where does this fit into the current market and why are you the one to do it? I see a little about your story but I want much more.
      • Can people with your story and journey become the core of the community (I don't see that right now?)
      • Why doesn't this exist, or what currently exists?
      1. 1

        Hi Ben - thanks for this thoughtful feedback, really helpful :)

        To respond to your points:

        = Ecosystem ==

        How are the podcasts produced and what's the business model around that? Are their opportunities for community support? Why are you doing this and not just curating?

        I write, record, and edit them. People can pay to become a member and get transcripts and key vocabulary. No advertising right now (although the download numbers could probably support it). Probably are opps for community support, but I haven't thoroughly explored them right now. I thought about just creating, but then realised that there really isn't any moat if you do that - anyone can curate, and I wouldn't benefit from the 'free' distribution channels of Apple Podcasts / Spotify / [insert podcast channel

        Who is wild about this right now and what do they have in common?

        To be frank, it has been difficult to get user feedback. My hypothesis is that this is mainly a language issue. Podcast growth has been pretty consistently strong, as has member growth, however actually understanding why, and who is listening (other than by a geo level) has been very hard.

        == Vision ==

        Where does this fit into the current market and why are you the one to do it? I see a little about your story but I want much more.

        I needed someone to tell me this. I had had a 'build mission / why now' page on my to-do list for a while but just need to ship it.

        Can people with your story and journey become the core of the community (I don't see that right now?)

        Not yet. I need to explore how this would work...

        Why doesn't this exist, or what currently exists?

        As I'm not sure exactly how to get it to work, or what to start testing. At the moment the only community-based thing that exists is the 'Learn English with Podcasts' group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/learnenglishwithpodcasts/) on Facebook.

        1. 1

          Yeah, cool. I don't think your copy has any glaring issues on it. I'd be interested in talking through the business case with you and asking you investor-style questions - interesting things here. Feel free to book something on my calendar or send me an email [email protected]

  17. 1

    Great idea! Have a go at my latest landing page:

    https://interestinsights.com/video-insights

    1. 2

      I think I sort of get it after reading through, but it's hard to identify your unique value proposition. Are you saying you have a verification that leads you perform an analysis most can't? If so make that really clear at the top.

      I like that you tell your story but it's not hitting hard right now. You built a dashboard on top of Facebook that's the silver bullet for video insights?

      1. 1

        The most important metric for Facebook videos is the audience retention, knowing when you users stop watching your videos. However, these numbers mean nothing if you can’t compare them with other videos. My product lets you compare those numbers, and other statistics, to give an understanding of how the videos perform and what to do better.

        I’m struggling to fit that in one short sentence to put at the top of the landing page? :)

        1. 2

          here's one idea using my template from above:

          Supercharge Your Facebook Video Performance
          Easily understand your performance with best-in-class retention tools
          [Simpler bullet points of features ]
          Social proof high above the fold

          DIRECT ANSWER TO THEIR PAIN
          DESCRIPTIVE SOLUTION
          LITERAL PROOF
          SOCIAL PROOF

          1. 1

            Thats great, thank you! Will use this.

  18. 1

    Would love to hear your feedback!
    https://www.grabdigital.co/

    1. 1

      I like the clarity of what you do right away for your customers. I'd want to see you experiment with some more "secret sauce". I assume it's a competitive space - What makes you so high performance? Tell me one thing above the fold you do that others don't.

      I'm guessing you have a loyal customer base and a referral network that keeps you going. The trick is to know what people are saying about you. Why are these people "the best" for them?

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        Well, thank you your reply and quick delivery time! I'll be following your advice :)

        1. 1

          Cool, let me know how it works out, happy to talk more

    1. 1

      After a Greek to English translation, I see no real text here. What's your objective and where are you stuck?

      1. 1

        Sorry, i would love to hear your feedback!
        If page-language is a probelm for you, then don't bother

        Thanks

        1. 1

          The translation is fine, I just don't see any copy and I can't exactly tell what this is.

          What is your customer's pain?
          What is your answer?

  19. 1

    https://www.siteguru.co
    Would love to hear what you come up with

    1. 1

      Great to get me to see it for myself in two clicks. Show's always gonna beat tell. I get why you ask for the email, but I'd experiment with no email and just an audit right away.

      You could experiment with minimal social proof to increase the number of people that do an audit. "Siteguru taught me so much so quickly" - Sandra L, Stripe.com or "399 audits performed today".

      Questions:
      How do your customers describe you?
      What's the one thing your customers would pay $149+ for, or more than anything else?
      I want stories. What are all the painful scenarios you are saving your customer? Like really specifically for their lives?

      1. 1

        Thanks for taking the time!

        Social proof sounds like a good idea. We do have a carousel with customer quotes on the homepage, but could further expand that.

        1. 1

          Can you hint at it above the fold? X companies used Site Guru to do Y ? Z companies using Site Guru today? Or a rotating sentence testimonial that links below?

  20. 1

    https://www.bizpayo.com "Grab Google reviews when you get paid online"

    1. 1

      I get what you do intellectually after reading but it's still hard for me to visualize this. If I can't see it I can't quite believe it. Maybe some visual flows up top would help me see it more rather than words. Videos are an investment from the naive user that many will not make.

      I love your Happy Customers section, feels like this could be highlighted even more.

      It looks like your key customers are accountants and professional services. I like that have you have separate flows for them but can you put this higher? Everyone wants to feel like it's a bespoke service.

      I question "grab google reviews when you get paid online". Have you tested things like "Get reviewed as soon as you get paid", "Get 10x more reviews". Make sure to separate the solution and the effect/opportunity.

      I have other questions regarding rollout and sustainability but let's start with that ^.

      1. 1

        You're spot-on with the target audience of accountants and pro services. I think we started really broad and this feedback is validation that it may be too broad.

        Most of our customers are accountants so speaking directly to them on our homepage I think will solve the bespoke service issue.

        I love the "Get reviewed as soon as you get paid". I'll probably split test this for a bit.

        The challenge is clarifying the problem that we solve.

        Payments. Reviews. Proposals. Hard to articulate in a 5-second test.

        Maybe "Online payments for CPAs. Get a Google review as soon as you get paid."

        1. 2

          Your customer's pain = X
          Topline = the clearest solution to X
          Literal Proof = Solution
          Social Proof = Testimonials

          So one example (just riffing, you will know better than me):
          Pain = As a CPA, it's so hard to get reviews which makes it harder to get customers.
          Topline = Get tons of reviews with no extra work
          Proof = BizPayO automatically collects reviews right after you get paid. Easy for you and your customers.
          Testimonials = Happy Customers

  21. 1

    A new pair of eyes is always interesting :)

    https://www.seowl.co

    Thanks !

    1. 1

      I like the simplicity. Gut reaction is that I'd only use this if I was referred here. That's good and bad :)

      I want the differentiation right at the top or close to it. "Unlike other SEO tools, we do X Y Z". The result is "THIS HUGE VALUE FOR YOU".

      Who is your customer? What are they frustrated with right now? Why are you a sigh of relief? Why another SEO tool?

      1. 1

        Thanks!

  22. 1

    https://www.plandrive.com/

    Let me know what you think, thank you @Bcbernstein!

    1. 1

      Interesting, one of my clients is an A/V engineer, I'll consider showing this to him.

      I like the clean conversational tone. The copy depends a lot on where you are in your journey. If this is attuned to your customers and really resonating, great! If not, here are the diagnostic questions I'd start asking:

      If thousands use this, introduce me to them! Never can have too many testimonials and the words of people you helped.

      Is going digital and having version control the number one thing your customers want?
      What does it look like when they don't have that? What does that create for them?

      Personally, why did you create this? I assume your story is very powerful here. What's the best part of working on plandrive for you? Make this apparent!

  23. 1

    http://lifetimo.com/

    Waiting for your suggestion. Thank you. :)

    1. 2

      I like the directness. But I'd test away from deals. Deals = cheap = low value. What are you really selling here? Rapid learning? A wide arrange of experience? What other words are your users looking?

      1. 1

        Thank you. I will think in this way. :)

  24. 1

    Please suggest for https://www.kimp.io

    1. 1

      This looks good, speaks directly to the pain and makes it very clear what you're offering.

      Consider social proof higher up, even if just an excerpt. The testimonials are a little buried and I needed to look for them to want to sign up.

      Who are your competitors and what do you do differently? Call it out and label that.

    1. 2

      Cool, quora is a good space and one people often overlook.

      There's nothing wrong with this, but I'd test a total minimal simple page. Go the other way. Logline. Social proof. All confidence.

      1. 1

        Thanks. Will try that.

  25. 1

    Great initiative Ben💪 Would love to hear your feedback on my site: https://betterfolio.app

    1. 1

      Unclear to me what exactly happens when I sign up which is very important for financial data. Are you integrating with my bank, robinhood, something else?

      The clean design is nice and financial clarity is much needed.

      That's important before any copy is tweaked. I signed up, but wouldn't have in the wild.

      Do people want to do this, manually enter their transactions? What's your proof here ?

      1. 1

        Thanks Ben for your feedback, very appreciated 🙏

        Betterfolio tracks the performance of your investments and does not manage your funds at all. Currently you have to enter the transactions manually, but we plan to directly integrate with your brokers.
        I think I have to make these points definitely more clear on the landing page 👍

  26. 1

    needremote.com
    Thanks :)

    1. 1

      As with the many other remote job boards, I don't see how this is different. Make it clear from the very top what distinguishes you.

    1. 1

      I like the specificity and maybe that's all you need copy wise.

      As always, I'd like to see some happy customers or some community support. Show me at the top something is happening, there's currency moving through this.

    1. 2

      Maybe selling NPM modules is innovative enough, but you should write something about what this does for your users, not just what it is. "Make money selling your npm modules", etc.

      1. 1

        Thanks for the review! I just started working on the product so hadn't put much brains in the landing page. Will update the same keeping your review in mind.

  27. 1

    Ben, thanks very much for helping the IH community.

    https://horizontech.dev/

    Certainly, it's a WIP. Your input can make a significant impact.

    1. 2

      I like the space that you're in - I've been talking to several friends about building mentorship platforms. Huge need and opportunity right now, and so many smarter ways to do it.

      Also great that you talk about how you've been in it for a long time. Longevity gets cooler and cooler as the digital age marches on.

      It's unclear and feels even disingenuous where you are located - you say SF at top and then list an Indian address. Not accusing you of anything, but that is the way it comes across to me. Don't be opaque about this especially when it comes to software development.

      I think you do it right with the components, but aside from the story of your background, we're missing the stories and the data.

      If you don't have these yet, lean more on your back story and why you're doing this, what makes you different. If you do have it, flesh it out - what do your students say... put them at the top. What do you get that others don't? Why do students choose you?

      1. 1

        Thanks for your review. As I mentioned above it’s a WIP. We will update the contact and our story soon. We are in transition that’s the reason why there is a discrepancy.

        1. 2

          Cool. I can't wait to see the update!

          1. 1

            Thanks Ben, certainly update you.

  28. 1

    https://www.emailthis.me

    I am not very good with words. I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks!

    1. 1

      Nice job - I feel happy and intuit your value prop - speed and minimal frustration in mobile development.

      Some ideas and questions for you:

      Your expertise is important - consider not burying that, putting up top that in all your experience "Xamo Toolkit is Trieu’s way of helping everyone" - I love this and don't want it to be hidden - this is powerful

      I feel confused - what's the core of your business joy? The secret thing you wish you could do 100x more of? Training others? Developing this framework? Something else? I have a hunch that something is hidden here and could be more prominent and result in much greater results.

      What do your users say? I want to read and see their joy and have it prove to me the claims you're making.

      1. 1

        @Bcbernstein Many thanks for your valuable assessment. Your points are valid. I'll incorporate it.

        1. 2

          great! posts your answers to these questions and/or a website update so others can learn too.

  29. 1

    https://juxtappose.com
    I know it's not great, I'm scared but I know I need this...

    1. 1

      fear is your best friend! good for you for putting it out there.

      this feels overdesigned. use something simple like bootstrap or something that works nicely out of the box.

      'easy fast simple' are nice pillars to rest on. but you make it hard to support these claims - what is your proof from stories or data, not your opinion?

      i don't do data comparison or really know what that means, so unless your core users know exactly what it means, that needs to be super clear up top.

      are people using this now? if so, highlight them and use their words.

  30. 1

    Please take a look at my site, I had it re-designed/ layout changed after it got roasted here xD

    https://Kingmailer.co (Email delivery service similar to Mailgun, Sendgrid etc)

    1. 1

      I like the simplicity - says no nonsense. Mailgun alternative feels vague. "Cheaper than mailgun"? "more reliable than mailgun"? etc...

      sparse testimonials would help you, especially people who switched off mailgun. make it as clean as possible.

    1. 1

      Especially with the number of organizational apps out there, I need to be really enticed to invest the cognitive energy in your solution.

      You hint at the special sauce in the explainer video, but I want to see this in action. Bombard me with your special sauce and invest all your words in that.

      Some firestarter questions for you to lead to uncovering this and great copy:

      Do you have users who can speak for you, and what would they say about why they love reschedule?
      What do your users have in common?
      Why did you make this, what's the main gap you saw in the market?
      What's the biggest dream you have for reschedule - what impact does it really have in people's lives?
      What does the world look like (in extreme detail) when Reschedule does not exist?

      1. 1

        What do your users have in common?
        My users spend 80% of their day running meetings and coordinating the work of others. Roles like project managers, team leader, etc

        Why I build Re:Schedule?
        Today, the information they use in meetings is distributed across various apps and organized differently in each app. Eg. meeting notes maybe in Google Docs under folder-> folder-> folder-> Doc-> Meeting section. Tasks maybe in a task manager under Team->Project-Task. All this information is manually organized with permissions,etc and the person running the meeting must awkwardly pull this info together while running the meeting.

        What's the biggest dream you have for reschedule - what impact does it really have in people's lives?
        Instead, Re:Schedule organizes the information by your meeting schedule. Just tap a meeting and there is a collaborative workspace for you to run your meeting. All the info & tools you need for the meeting are there organized. No need to switch between tools to run the meeting and all your participants are on the same page as you. All that overhead is gone and you can focus on running the meeting.

        My challenge is conveying the key message in a headline.

        1. 2

          I think you speak to the pain and solution to it well and your headline is fine. The pain is disorganization, the solution is everything in one place.

          If this is resonating with your current users and they are organically referring eachother, great.

          Either way, add social proof up top. "X people downloaded today". "Y meetings saved." "Z minutes saved with X number of people". etc.

          If you don't have that yet social proof yet, make your copy more specific to target a niche. Tell the stories of meetings saved closer to the top.

          1. 1

            Thanks!

  31. 1

    https://simplemnt.com/

    Currently in the process of redoing our landing page, any feedback would be appreciated!

    1. 2

      I like your friendly video :)

      Can you lead with the feeling of pain relief? "Make even the most complex onboarding process feel like a delightful, in-product experience" seems close. That speaks to what I assume is your customer's pain. Tell me this right away, I'm in pain!

      Who specifically is this for? Show me these people, let me see I'm one of them. How specific and obvious can it get, and then how we can we shape the copy around it?

  32. 1

    https://statuscrawl.com/ just getting started :)

    1. 1

      It is already working? Seems like the Try Free button is not working.
      I am curious if you have had sales or interested clients ?
      I really like this kind of technical projects and i would like to hack something similar, but i always have wondering if it is too hard to make profit out of it.

    2. 1

      I like the super clear value proposition up top. is this the cleanest it can be? is this what you would verbally say to someone who has the problem you're trying to solve?

      if not, ask your users what their main problems are. then brainstorm on ways to say "i can fix it by doing this"

      "See why 1,234 people are already using StatusCrawl." - good, put this up higher.

      what are these 1234 people saying and doing? I want to see and hear their words on how much status crawl is helping. MAKE THEM THE STARS.

  33. 1

    tradeplan.co I know that the copy needs a lot of work. Hope to get ur thoughts.

    1. 1

      I like that you have a specific and clear solution.

      Who exactly is this targeting? What transformative value is this creating? Why doesn't it exist already, or what is currently being used? Why am I lucky to have found this site? What's the most intense feeling I could get after successfully using TradePlan?

      "Ping Us @ Twitter if you have any doubts."

      Is that humor? If so, I like it.

    1. 1

      What does d-tashion specialize in? What makes this different? Who is raving about d-tashion right now and how you can you highlight them at the top of the site?

      1. 1

        Ecommerce aggregator website where products related to women fashion are available. Specially women who are interested in buying online but looking for cheap prices, variety of products so i combined these 2 challenges in one website.

        1. 1

          try this exercise:

          what do your happiest users say about dtashion? if you don't know, ask them! ask them what they love about it and how they'd refer it to a friend. do this a bunch of times.

          these are the words you want to use, the encapsulation of your referral dynamic. let me know what happens or propose a different method.

  34. 1

    This comment was deleted 14 days ago.

    1. 2

      I like that you have a niche on remote jobs. as a poster and a searcher, it's kind of vacant right now. how can you highlight this "large community", what words can you write about them?

      as a poster, why is this the best place to post? i don't see any reason to post my job on your site.

      as a searcher, i guess this is the best community because it's large. how else can you back that up, and what are other searcher's pain points? have you addressed every issue that remote job searchers face? everything should be spelled out. give the specific answers to the struggle.

      1. 2

        This comment was deleted 14 days ago.

        1. 1

          great, post your updates, thoughts and further questions! i look forward to it

  35. 1

    This comment was deleted 5 months ago.

    1. 1

      I like the name, rolls off the tongue.

      Especially in a space this crowded, I need to see a lot of specificity here to want to try this. What is the most specific user persona this is for? Who loves this? What do they say about? What does it solve better than anything else? How specific with the pain solution can you get and show that RIGHT AT THE TOP?