I'm pretty bad at copy, but if someone could take a peek at my site and help me in the right direction

Hey all,

I recently finished my site and I'm getting closer to launching and I'd love an extra set of eyes on my site.

I'm launching a homemade granola site, where the ingredients are locally sourced. Specifically the honey, maple syrup, and oats.

Something someone mentioned is taking about why people should buy my product. So I think I'm going to move the about down and put some bullet points about the benefits of locally sourced and supporting local farms.

Also as soon as I have some reviews I'll be adding that to the site as well.


Any insight would be extremely helpful.

UPDATE: I made a version 2 post - https://www.indiehackers.com/post/granola-copy-version-2-fffb7c8f71

  1. 2

    For my startup, we are currently working on Buyer Personas and a Customer Journey Model. We are going to use these to inform us of what copy that will convince our potential customers. Just a thought.

  2. 2

    Hey Matthew,

    Congrats on launching your granola business.

    I'd definitely change your website headline "homemade granola locally sourced made in the heart of NY".

    It's something anyone could say, and honestly I don't think any of that stuff is relevant to your target audience.

    A standard way to cut through the noise with impact is to write headlines that state a benefit or a promise of using your product.

    But this technique has a problem. In 2020 consumers are more cynical and skeptical than ever.

    All thanks to decades of sleazy marketers and brands making overpromises and underdelivering.

    This means that for every benefit there's a reader thinking, "Yeah right. All these homemade granola brands say that their granola is the best. But I've tried a bunch of them and they all taste like cat food"

    So here's a better way of writing a headline that wins over skeptics and their fears.

    Handle the #1 objection right there, in your headline. Acknowledge what's stopping them from buying your granola, then give it a positive spin.

    To figure out what's the #1 objection...think about all the "What if..." objection questions that are flying around in their minds about your product benefits. Write them down.

    I don't know much about your product but I can guess that taste might be one of the biggest objections.

    I'm not saying your granola tastes bad, but your target audience might think that most granola brands out there taste bad.

    And they might also think that it's hard to find good healthy & guilt-free breakfast options.

    So this could be a good way of reframing your product: a healthy & guilt-free breakfast that tastes good.

    A few options for your headline:

    • Finding a healthy & guilt-free granola that tastes good. Hmmm...tastes...like...victory.
    • Homemade granola that tastes this good makes life this good.

    Hope this is helpful feedback.

    1. 1

      Hey, thanks for taking a look and explaining this to me, it's extremely helpful.

  3. 2

    Yo Matthew,

    First of all, do the research and understand what's their motivation, purchase prompt, deal breaker needs, and objections. That all you need on your website.

    Let's break this down.

    1. How to do research.

    Well, go to online forums or any place where you can find reviews of your ideal customers.

    1. Now find what's their pain points and wants. (Motivation)

    Dive deeper into reviews and find what problem they are facing, like what problems other "granola" providers creating and highlight them.

    1. Now find their deal-breaker needs.

    Otherwise you'll loose them. Tell them you're fulfilling those deal-breaker needs + you're also providing some unique benefits.

    1. Now find top 3 objections they might have

    List out their objections and break those objections like:

    State their objection then talk about why it's not true and what's the truth.

    Once you done your research. It's time for messaging hierarchy.

    Headline: Talk about your their wants or pain points

    Need example? Kickstart your Youtube channel with no overwhelm

    Subheading: Tell they who is this for, and some benefits

    First paragraph: On your website, it's your story.

    Tell them the big Idea. Write something like,

    Tired of unfinished tasks? I understand, you wear a lot hats as a business owner. From marketing to sales to operations, this can be intimidating.

    And keep it under 3 sentences.

    Benefits Section: List out your features and ask so what?

    Need example?

    My ingredients are sourced locally. Ask "so what?"
    This means, no preservatives that causes blah blah...

    You get the idea.

    Then talk about a 3-step process on how they can enjoy your granola:

    Say something like this,

    3 easy steps to have some ....

    Step one select the favour of granola
    Step two order your granola (it's safe)
    Step three enjoy your granola with your family and friends.

    Order now button

    Talk about their objections:

    Objection 1: Write down the objections, why it's not true, and at last, what the truth (your way of addressing the objections)

    Similarly do with two other objections.

    Offer again:

    People won't remember your story or benefits, but they will remember what's the offer.

    Showcase your product + ingredients + why now (if possible) and followed by a call to action.

    That's all Matthew. If you need any help, I'll be happy to help you.

    Pardon my typos and irrelevant examples 😅

    1. 1

      Thanks for taking a look and thank you for breaking it down. I wasn't 100% sure how to do research. Do you happen to have reference websites that follow this general structure?

  4. 2

    Congrats on your business.

    Your headline shouldn't be about how awesome your product is, where it's made, or how much love went into it. Those are nice things, but not the MOST important thing: how your product solves your customer's problem.

    So, what is your customer's problem? No time for breakfast? Poor self-esteem? Lackadaisical bowel movements? Whatever it is, identify it and then explain why your product SOLVES that problem in a clear and powerful headline.

    That's all your customers are interested in. And that's what'll make them open their wallets to you.

    All the best!

    1. 1

      Thanks for taking a look!

      Hmm I'll have to think about this. I'm not sure the benefits of granola. I love it because it's quick and easy and tastes great. I can prepare it the night before if I want to. But there are other products or there that are quicker such as a breakfast bar. My granola is basically similar to cereal, but it is more versatile than cereal.

      I'm going to have to do some research.

      Thanks again!

      1. 2

        No worries! You kind of answer the question - it's easy to make. In other words, it's convenient. It also tastes great and is healthy. So how do those things help your customer? You're based in NY so it's safe to assume that most people are busy and on the go? Maybe it's a fast and convenient way to get a delicious and healthy breakfast for the modern New Yorker. Something along those lines?

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