IMPOSTER SYNDROME
It feels like everyday I am constantly dealing with "imposter syndrome", and I wonder if it ever goes away? I have been working pretty hard the past 6+ months on some indie/side projects, but I am constantly too nervous to share or even post about them. I feel like I am completely a "faker" or not good enough compared to how awesome everyone else's posts are and what they are showcasing.
Does that feeling ever go away? I know people say/write about how just share with the world and not care what others say or think, but I feel like that is WAY easier to say and WAY harder to accept then post/share.
I guess I am at a crossroads where I am at the point of just saying f*ck it, but I still am feeling the nervousness about posting and people will think I suck or my projects suck.
I guess this post is just a way of building self confidence to start sharing again, maybe.
I am making a poll to see if others deal with the same thing.
Thanks for stopping by.
Something that helps me is just considering things logically. Look at this graphic as a starting point: https://miro.medium.com/max/1400/0*cMtloDm96QpvWfSy.png
Now really consider all of the unique skills and knowledge that you've acquired and how unlikely it is that you would meet another person with all the same skills, knowledge, and experience that you have. You won't. You can't. Mathematically, it will never happen. You and your experiences are unique and will obviously help you bring things to the table that others won't or can't, because they aren't copies of you.
So now, if your skills & knowledge are unique, then they are valuable. And so the things you create with those skills are valuable as well.
To make yourself feel better when you begin to share your projects, you don't have to approach it from a grandiose, "look at me and what I did" perspective. Some people might be able to pull that off, but don't try to be that person if you aren't.
Post your projects asking for helpful feedback or prefacing that this is the first time anyone is seeing it. Will you get a negative comment? Realistically, it's possible. But go back to the above exercise and step away from your emotions. Maybe your project isn't valuable to that person, and that's why they had something negative to say. Maybe they are jealous. Maybe they are having a bad day. Maybe they are just really bad at communication.
When I get caught up in emotions, I like to see things logically, to break myself out of it.
If you're having a hard time hitting the Post button, type everything up the way you like it, then count down from 5 to 1 and press post. 5.... 4.... 3.... 2.... 1.... POST. This is a Mel Robbins trick and it works. Counting down shuts off the part of your brain that talks you out of things and instinctually you can trick yourself into action. (https://www.amazon.com/Second-Rule-Transform-Confidence-Everyday/dp/1682612384). I use this when I'm having a hard time forcing myself out of bed in the morning, and it works EVERY TIME.
Hope something in here helped. If not, it helped me remember why I'm not an imposter.
Hey 👋
I’m not sure it ever goes away. Perhaps certain types of personality suffer more than others 🤷♂️ Regardless, figuring out how to get comfortable being uncomfortable might be one of those superpowers that serves to push people through all sorts of situations that others run from. I don’t know what the answer is or if there is “an answer”.
I’d suggest, as with so many things, starting really small, doing one tiny tiny thing that makes you a little uncomfortable regularly might open the door to more confidence or at least more “who gives a fuck - it’ll be ok, what’s the worst that can happen!” thinking.
Good luck 👍