Is my landing page specific? Concise? The right story? The right emotions?

Hi Paul! Some feedback for you:

• Left-align content. Having left aligned + centre aligned content in close proximity is really jarring to the eyes.

• Simplify your nav. Use dropdowns if you must, but think about your user journey. Where do you want them to go? Try not to overwhelm visitors.

• A lot can be said for a blog-style website. It can be more personal, but you're missing images. If it's personal and about you, let us see the human side. Add a couple of high quality images to help break up content. One in the right-bar and one in the main text element would be good.

• Minor gripe, but add a Favicon. The Wordpress logo makes the page look unfinished.

• Your newsletter subscribe box blends in with the rest of the content - try to make this CTA clearer.

Best of luck with the project!

Hello Paul, my two cents (I'm not a designer, so I might be wrong, just sharing personal op)

1 - I love the texts, but truth is: too long when not 100% necessary... like "get my daily posts by email" while nice to read, a bit too much that scares the user away at first glimpse.
2 - Center aligned text: looks weird? (probably a designer would know why is wrong :)
3 - if someone goes into your website: he's willing to read. Still, people doesn't like to do it. So, probably a few calming images here and there to intercalate the text?

Hi Paul,

First impression: So much text everywhere, there is no clear hierarchy or alignment in the page.

After reading a bit, I understand you provide copywriting and tone of voice guidlines, but after reading the post I bit I am not sure what your brand is. I would not trust someone to help me with branding who doesn't have a strong brand himself. The copy felt very salesy and hard to read/understand what you are actually going to do for my business.

Hey Paul,

In my opinion, you can improve the text/element alignment. With the message and format, I feel it'd be much better to represent a landing page instead of a post.

Though, I really like how clean it is, and not using too many colors.

These are just my initial thoughts after glancing through your page.

It feels too noisy. To start off with I had a tough time reading through your navigation, there are way too many items there. You need to look at ways to cut it down or use sub navigation. Things like your Twitter and Instagram links can be removed and moved to the top as simple icons.

As a follow up to the previous point your entire top section seems to be too wordy. I am not sure what I am reading in your entire above the fold section. Not to sound harsh but I constantly wanted to scream "get to the point". I personally would go with something simple "I am a personal brand consultant that helps you solve X" where solve X is the major pain point of your clients you address. And make sure X is concrete, right now it says "discover their authentic voice" I am not sure what that means in actual terms.

The rest of your page is a wall of text...you just have too much text you might want to break it up and cut down the text by 50% and then by another 50% and again another 50%. You also might want to use bold/color/font size to highlight important points.

Hey all. This is the current version of my landing page for my personal brand consulting service. It's aimed at the nuances of the creative individual. It's for those who have a platform, an audience, but harbor a lot of fear towards expressing their authentic voice.