Is your identity fixed, or fluid?

Putting a label on a person is like putting a label on the water in a river. It’s ignoring the flow of time.

Derek Sivers

Our identities feel fixed like the color of our hair or the color of our skin, but who we are is impermanent.

We tend to think that who we are today is who we will always be. We assume permanence with our personality and capabilities, but we are impermanent and fluid.

There are very few constant factors in who are. Even our cells are always dying and replenishing themselves creating an illusion of stability that masks the dynamic and constant change of our physical bodies.

We are not our beliefs or capabilities. We are just a container that holds them.

A river is not defined by the water that’s in it. It’s defined by how the water runs through it. Two rivers can have the same water running through them and remain unique.

We operate the same way. What defines who we are is how we embody the thoughts, ideas, and skills that run through us, not what the thoughts, ideas, and skills are.

Defining ourselves by the contents of our beliefs or capabilities makes us feel like who we are is out of our control. We label ourselves as misfits, criminals, geniuses, or athletes and close the door to the possibility of change or evolution.

When we recognize that who we are is fluid, we see that we have control over our identity and who we can become. The labels put on us don’t mean anything because they ignore the reality that we are constantly changing and evolving.

We are always ourselves, but we are never the same.

With this understanding, we can let go of the assumptions we’ve made about ourselves and take control of how we continue to evolve. Failure today does not mean failure tomorrow. And growth today doesn’t mean growth tomorrow.

Because who we are is so dynamic, it takes constant effort to mold ourselves into the person we want to become. We are always changing and everything around us is always changing.

To ensure we’re on the right path we have to reassess who we are and who we want to be every day and take actions to help us bridge that gap.

The past does not define us, but the future is not guaranteed. To become a bit better each day we need to embrace the fluidity of who we are and consistently take action to steer ourselves towards toward a better version of ourselves.

Prompts

1. What labels have you put on yourself?

2. What labels have you put on others?

3. What does it look like for you to embrace the fluidity of your identity?

Deep Dive

• How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

  • A thought-provoking read about the conflicting nature of living well.

---

This post is part of the Prompted Series on IH. Subscribe below to receive new insights and prompts every week.

---