Just finished my first prototype

I started typing up a long response to your new landing page, but IH somehow destroyed the thread and lost the comment. I'll try my best to rewrite it more concisely:

• Great work on the updated landing page! It is a lot clearer
• I wish "Brian Fredrick wants to borrow $56" was more prominent -- to me this one line really encapsulates the app
• This landing page is great for borrowers, but I'm not sure that's the market you need to convince. What about lenders? If you look at kiva.org it's all about why you should lend -- doing social good, and getting a 97% repayment rate. Lenders are the people you really need to convince
• Maybe for the next iteration you should develop three landing pages: one general one for all audiences (borrower, lender, and "what is this app"); one for borrowers; one for lenders

Best of luck!

It's a nice idea @BorrowNYC

I like:

1. The branding color
2. The message you're trying to convey

Here's my suggestion for quick UI/UX fix:

1. It's hard to read uppercase
2. Missing favicon
3. The sign-up CTA at the top right corner is not obvious
4. Streamline your body text, it's too much and the line spacing is too close
5. Privacy & terms?
6. The video auto-play almost freak me out

I noticed you built this by Squarespace. I also used Squarespace to build my silly project. Happy to exchange ideas.

My biggest issue with this landing page is the text you see first.
By reading the rest of the page I think your target market is app users -- that is, the goal of the landing page is to get regular end-users to sign up -- correct?

If so, then the line "Borrow is a lean startup" doesn't fit. End-users don't care that you're a lean startup. Actually, I can't think of anyone who would care that you're a lean startup except perhaps some investors, but even then it's not something you need to talk about on the homepage.

That line, and the header above it, is your most valuable real estate on the whole site, so make it count!

Think about your marketing language in terms of these three categories:

• X for Y : "Venmo for borrowing and lending" (you have this but it's tiny), or better yet, [SERVICE] for [MARKET], so something like "Microloans for New Yorkers"

• The Promise: what does your product promise to do? "Never worry about [making rent | paying bills | shopping sprees] again"

• Specific Outcome: what's a key metric that distinguishes you from competition? "Crowdsourced loans in just minutes, right from your phone"

Pick one or two of these and feature it prominently!

The layout Looks a bit broken on mobile.

Good progress. However,

1. Font size and type is not readable at all - very hostile to the eyes. Read up on the most common fonts for web; use one or two of those fonts. There is a reason those fonts are popular.

2. Alignment issues - Some of your rows are full width and others are boxed - design wise that is very disturbing to the eye. Choose one and align everything on it. The more modern type is to go with a full width alignment.

3. Still on fonts - increase the line and letter spacing a bit to avoid making the text look all congested.

4. The copy is too verbose - make it shorter and precise. You need to find the right words to improve the copy by making it faster to read hence shorter.

Besides the responsive design issue as mentioned, landing page has so much text content which makes easy to lose focus. General text optimization would be worth it I think.

Why's your tech stack?

I don't think this is mobile responsive