7 Comments

Just started first newsletter. Please roast my attempt

by James Robertson

Need a little help from the awesome IH community.

I started my first newsletter today on Substack

My day job is as an engineer and I am a complete newsletter noob.

It would be so so helpful if you could look and point out the mistakes that I have made.

https://rephrased.substack.com/

James Robertson

posted to

Newsletter Crew

on October 18, 2020

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3

Here I took a crack at rewriting this for you:

Weekly JavaScript challenges to help keep up with the ever changing JS ecosystem. Challenges will revolve around a different hot topic each week. Topics range from latest JS language features to exciting new JS libraries. Stay ahead by solving puzzles.

into this:

JavaScript puzzles and challenges for hackers. Learn new JS libraries, features, syntax in a fun way. Solve real problems in a sandbox. Think better and write code faster when it counts.

kamphey

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4 years ago
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  Absolutely love this copy suggestion. Great how it gets to the core benefit of "staying ahead".
  
  Going to try it put on landing page
  
  roberja90
  
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  4 years ago
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- You waste the title by just putting a name without telling me what it is
- Lots of small text.. be more concise
hatkyinc

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4 years ago
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Here's the copy I'm reading (in case you're revising it):

Weekly JavaScript challenges to help keep up with the ever changing JS ecosystem. Challenges will revolve around a different hot topic each week. Topics range from latest JS language features to exciting new JS libraries. Stay ahead by solving puzzles.

I'm intrigued! (Well, I'd genuinely be intrigued if I were a JS developer.) Puzzles are fun.

I would add some more emphasis to the overall benefit, "stay[ing] ahead."

You know how devs in Agile shops have to write their tickets?

As a ____,
I want to ____,
So that I can ____.

My advice would be to focus on that last line. So that I can...?

Stay on the bleeding edge of JS?
Get more well-rounded as a JS developer?
Advance my skills while having fun and land better jobs with more money?

Optional extra benefit: Is there a very short (1-2 sentences) method to give a more specific picture of what your reader would do? Perhaps an example case? Is there a way to let the reader imagine themselves having fun taking on the challenge? If you're a patio11 follower, perhaps there was some benefit offered to Starfighter players that could serve as inspiration.

blakerson

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4 years ago
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  Thanks. The feedback about overall benefit is great. Easy to forget to focus on benefits when you are the maker of something because the benefits are obvious in your own head.
  
  I am putting together a 30 second video of me running through an example challenge from start to finish. Going to use that in a few places to real give people an immediate sense of a challenge. I have also update some imagery on Substack with a screenshot of a challenge sandbox.
  
  roberja90
  
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  4 years ago
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Hi James , don't only talk about what you do but tell them what value you will bring:
new insights ? discover new tools or libs in an interactive way ?
good luck
Filip

filvdg

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4 years ago
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  Thanks for feedback. Really useful. I'm reworking some of the copy now so will talk more about value the challenges will bring.
  
  roberja90
  
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  4 years ago
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