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Just updated my landing page - how'd I do?

Hi everyone. I'm still toying with the copy here for pre-selling this product. I've prototyped the application to a point where I'm confident I can build it. Now, based on the great advice of all the IndieHackers I've met here and elsewhere, I'm trying to generate some hype as much as possible before getting lost in the development rabbit-hole.

Here's the landing page I've built: https://matix.io/hayward/

So, how did I do on the landing page? Is the offering clear? Does the copy motivate you?

My goal is to build a mailing list of interested people, so that I can build hype and get feedback as I progress with the product.

As always, brutal feedback is the best. Thanks in advance! 🙌

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    Hey @connorbode,

    I'm not sure I understand who the customer is for this. What kind of conversations are people wanting to discover?

    Is this for brand/product mention monitoring? Is this for simply finding interesting content for leisure? What do people do when they receive an alert that something they were monitoring for was found?

    This line makes me think that Hayward is for a business/brand/product owner to listen in on their customers' conversations for mentions of them:

    "Find the communities where your customers are having conversations"

    But then, this line makes me think it's for people who just want to find new/more of interesting content:

    "Monitor any website. Get alerts for interesting content."

    I think the copy and the ideal customer are making it confusing.

    From an execution standpoint, these two lines introduce too much immediate cognitive load (and they compete with each other for importance):

    "Hayward helps you find that conversation"

    "How does it work?"

    When I landed on the page, I saw the line that Hayward helps me find "that conversation". I immediately ask "what conversation?".

    Then I see the question "How does it work" and immediately ask "how does what work?"

    Right away, it becomes my job to figure out what Hayward is and how it works, then, why I would want to use it.

    As I mentioned, I still couldn't figure that out.

    If you have an ideal customer or an ideal core problem that you're solving, write from that perspective.

    For example, if your ideal customer is a business/brand/product owner who wants to know when people are talking about them, start with a headline that tells them exactly what Hayward does for them, e.g.

    "Get alerted anytime your customers talk about you" (could be about your product/brand/etc)

    Or

    "Wanna know what your customers are saying about you?"

    This copy is intriguing but I want to understand where it's coming from:

    "Someone is having the conversation you're looking for but finding it is like searching for a needle in a haystack."

    What made you write that? What conversations have you had a hard time finding? Why were they hard to find? How close to finding them have you come before realizing they weren't the conversations you were looking for? Why weren't they?

    I think there are a lot of questions to ask on this. I would start with choosing one single person as your ideal customer and write for them. Do that a couple of times until you figure out who is going to use this. Then come back to your copy.

    Also, create some visual weight based on what is most important. Create a clear headline and give it the most weight. Then reduce the visual weight as you move down the level of importance.

    Hope that helps!

    Good Luck!

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      Wow thank you for the lengthy analysis. I think I may try to insert a block between Hayward helps you find those conversations and How does it work? where I explain use cases for different niches.

      For example:

      • For bloggers & content marketers, a conversation is often an opportunity to share your content
      • For people selling products, a conversation is an opportunity to share your product
      • For brand managers, a conversation about your brand is somewhere you might want to weigh in.
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    I feel like you've built the homepage upside down.

    Isn't the H1 this part here:

    Monitor any website. Get alerts for interesting content.
    Hayward helps you find the conversations you want to take part in.

    Additionally:

    • Do you mention the current way of doing the thing you're fixing?
    • Do you highlight the stress caused by the problem?
    • Do you mention anywhere what your users will lose (time? money?), by not adopting your solution?

    If not, then think about it, cause you might want to answer these questions!

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      Thanks for the tips. Those were actually my original "headlines" but then someone commented on a previous post that they were most motivated by the text at the bottom.. so I switched it haha!

      Re the "Additionally" stuff, those are all valid points. I'll run through them & try to write some extra copy.

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    Looks great! For some reason it bothers me that the header is contained while the footer stretches across the full width of the page

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      Yes this actually bothers me too but I noticed and didn't fix it. Should be symmetric, I agree.

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    You mentioned in the post you already got a prototype. As a potential user, I'd like to see a screenshot of the prototype so I can imagine easier how the tool looks and what it does.

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